BLACK SATIN
Dinner was delicious. Conversation stayed light-hearted and Winn found herself smiling for the majority of the meal. When they had stuffed themselves, and after Isaac had poured more wine, he'd pulled his bar stool closer to her and rested his elbow on the bar. "So how was your day?" He asked, his voice gentle and even, as he traced the edge of his wine glass with his finger.
Winn chuckled, amused. "I've been here, what, an hour and you're just now asking me?"
He smiled back. "I wanna know."
"I worked this morning and then I went shopping and...that's it."
"What did you buy?"
"You're looking at it."
He reached down and took hold of the seam at the bottom of her dress and rubbed it between his thumb and his forefinger. "You bought this just for me?"
"Well...I mean, I needed a new dress..."
"But you went out and you bought a dress just to see me tonight."
"It's what women do..."
"Humor me."
"Then, yes. I did."
"Did you think about me when you tried it on? Did you picture my reaction? Could you feel the anticipation of my hands all over the material?"
Winn's heart pounded. How could she be THIS physically attracted to a man in such a short period of time? How could a man say such things to her in such a way to cause her to lose her sanity at a moment's notice? How was that even fair? She rested her chin on her hand and she narrowed her eyes and smiled at him. "You said we could talk about you tonight."
"You don't forget anything, do you?"
"I want to talk about you."
"Well, I think talking about you is much more fun."
"We already talked about me."
"I want more."
"Then earn it."
Isaac let out a breath and swirled the wine in his glass before he took a sip. "Okay. What do you want to know?"
"Is it a defense mechanism? The way you go straight to the sexual innuendoes? And the flirting?"
"Why is this already feeling like a therapy session?"
"It's just a question. You said we could address my preconceived notions."
"So you DO have preconceived notions."
"Well, I'm only human."
"It's not enough that maybe I just want you? That maybe I say things as I feel them? Maybe you just turn me on that much."
"I thought you liked to know what made people tick? But while your turn-ons are obviously more physical, mine are more...mental..."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I like that word, 'obviously.' It intrigues me. Am I really that obvious?"
"Painfully."
He glanced down and shifted in his seat. "Hm." Then he looked back up at her. "Do I come on too strong? Does that make you uncomfortable?"
She shook her head. "No. But I want to know you. Beyond this...this Don Juan persona you seem to have created for yourself. That's not the real you. It can't be."
Isaac looked at her for a moment and straightened up in his seat. "I like women. I enjoy dating women. I'm just not ready to settle down. I'm clear with all of the women I date, it's not my fault if they want to perceive my actions or my words otherwise. So I have this...this stigma following me. But people talk, that's all it is. I can't do anything about that. I can't change it. I can only be who I am. And I've been clear with you, just as I am with all of them. I like you, I'm not ready for a commitment, and I just want to have fun. If that's not enough for you, then I'm sorry."
"So that's it, then. I'm a notch. I mean, you're right. You did make it perfectly clear. Crystal, actually. And the truth is, I'm not ready for a commitment, either--"
"So, then, I'm your notch, as well."
Winn looked across at Isaac, dumbfounded. What had just happened here? She wasn't him. She was nothing like him. Not even close. And what notch could he possibly be, she hadn't even slept with him yet. However, she knew she couldn't be that literal about it. "I don't think this is going to work," she said quietly.
"I assumed we were at an understanding here. Give me one good reason why it wouldn't work."
"Because--because I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't help it, I feel everything. But you--I don't think you even have any to wear."
"Do you know what emotion I'm feeling right now?"
"Desperately."
"Disappointment."
Winn's heart sank. She hadn't meant to hurt him. She knew that maybe she had been a little too harsh with him--maybe a little too blunt. But she wasn't going to go without letting him know what she thought, either. She put her wine glass down and stood up. "Um, I should go. Thank you for dinner, it was excellent."
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Isaac's eyes widened in alarm. How had this happened? Where had this conversation gone? Was he really that bad? He had already planned on not sleeping with her tonight because he assumed she wouldn't be up for it and that was an accomplishment in itself. He was actually proud of himself for inviting her over anyway.
He grabbed her hand as she stood. "Winn. What do you want?"
She paused and she stared into his eyes for a moment. Her expression read hurt and his heart sank. His heart. There it went, feeling again. Damn it. "I have no problem with being casual and having fun," she said quietly. "I honestly have so much on my plate right now that a commitment would just bog me down. So, in that respect, we're agreed. But I don't want to be discarded. I don't want to be a notch, I don't--I don't want to be insignificant."
"I'm not trying to discard you--"
"But you will. And I need to get out while I'm still ahead."
She attempted to pull away, but he pulled her back. "Winn, no. Please. Look, you've practically got me on my knees here and that's kinda out of character for me. Okay? Just--just don't go. I wasn't--I didn't have any intention of sleeping with you tonight. Does that make a difference?"
She searched his eyes for a moment before she let out a breath and shook her head. "Of course you would say that now..."
"It's the truth. I know you're not ready. I knew it last night when I invited you to dinner. I invited you here because, believe it or not, I enjoy spending time with you. Look, you're right, okay? Kind of. I do tend to jump over to the flirting and the sexual innuendos when I start feeling emotional about something, it's almost like a reflex. I don't--I don't know how to care freely anymore. I just--I just need someone to be patient
with me. Please."
He searched her face for something. Anything. This was the most honest he'd been with a woman in quite a long time and he prayed it wouldn't backfire on him. Though if it did, he guessed he deserved it. Finally, she sighed, defeated. "I am severely attracted to you. More than I should be. I wish I knew what it was. I just wish I knew who exactly I was attracted to. I wish I knew which side of you was real."
"Right here," he said. "Right here, this is real. I'm not--I'm not feeding you lines, I'm not trying to tell you what I think you want to hear. I really want you to stay, I really want to spend time with you. I want you to trust me."
"Why me? Why, all of a sudden, when you have an entire city of women at your fingertips, are you suddenly trying to get in good with a small-town girl from Texas? I'm nobody, Ike. There is nothing you can gain from me."
He pulled her closer and took her other hand in his. "Because you make me feel things. Things I haven't felt in a very long time and it scares the shit out of me and I don't like it but I can't control it, either. And maybe--maybe it turns out that I miss feeling those things, even though I can't really pinpoint what those things are at the moment. But they're not bad things and, honestly, it's been a long time since I've actually felt
something good. I don't want you to pity me. I don't want your emotional charity. But you wanted to know me and you wanted to know what made me tick and there it is. I'm broken. I've been broken for years. That's the man behind the curtain, Winn. But don't you dare tell a soul because I'll deny every word of it."
The corners of her mouth turned up in amusement as she glanced at the floor and back up into his eyes. "I believe you," she said quietly. "But don't make me regret it."
He looked into her eyes and pulled her a little closer. "What do you want, Winn? I'm at your mercy tonight, you can have anything you want."
Winn's smile widened in amusement. "That's awfully bold."
"Trust me, it hurts like hell to say it, I'm a control freak."
She giggled and that made Isaac smile. Relief washed over him. Maybe he'd actually managed to salvage the night. His heart pounded as her hands crept up the collar of his jacket. "I want to have fun. You keep saying that's all you want, but the truth is, we're not having fun yet."
"I can be fun," he volunteered seductively.
"You should put your money where your mouth is."
His arms slid around her waist and he smiled. "So now you want me..."
"I never not wanted you..."
"So you're gonna break me and then take me, is that it?"
Winn laughed and shook her head. "That sounded so stupid."
He laughed in response. "Yeah, it kinda did, didn't it?"
"That's what I like," she said, still smiling. "That's what's real. I like when you laugh and I like when you smile. It looks good on you."
"I look good on you."
She shook her head as her face neared closer to his. "I think I look better on you," she whispered. And then she kissed him. She pressed her body against his with need and he could feel every single curve underneath her dress. He held her tight against him, entangling his hand in the back of her hair and letting out a soft moan as her tongue danced sensuously in his mouth.
She broke their kiss. "Do you trust me?"
Again, trust wasn't something Isaac did. He searched for an answer.
He only waited roughly three seconds before she spoke again. "I mean right now. Just for tonight, in this moment. Do you trust me?"
He narrowed his eyes and nodded. "Oh yeah." He leaned in to kiss her, ultimately melting into her, aware of the grip she had on his jacket.
As he kissed her, she peeled the jacket back off of his shoulders. He struggled a little getting his arms out of his sleeves, but was finally successful as he took her face in his hands and desperately deepened their kiss.
To his surprise, she began to move. She opened her eyes and broke their kiss, smiling at him and slowly walking him backward into the living room. "Winn," he whispered. "What are you doing?"
"Trust me. It's okay."
"What's okay?"
"It's okay if you trust me tonight."
He didn't realize they'd stopped moving until she dropped him into his favorite, deep, black armchair. He was rendered speechless as he stared up at her. He couldn't remember the last time he'd surrendered control like this and he was certainly surprised at her sudden boldness considering her lack of current sexual history.
She turned her back to him and sat herself between his legs, directly in his lap, exactly in the place he needed her to be. His breathing quickened as she arched her back and sat up straight, sweeping her hair to the side. "Will you?" She asked as she looked over her shoulder.
Wordlessly, he obeyed and he unzipped the back of her dress. He was quickly losing his mind.
She smiled and thanked him as she stood up, hugging the dress against her chest. She then turned around to face him and wiggled her way out of it, letting the black dress fall to the floor around her ankles, revealing the simple black bra and panties set she wore underneath. The bra barely covered her chest and seemed to push them up in a position so right that Isaac nearly lost the ability to breathe. His eyes drank her body in, her
hourglass figure, her flat stomach, her legs that went for miles..."Holy fuck, Winn," he said breathlessly. "What are you trying to do to me? I told you I was on my best behavior tonight."
"Maybe you said that," she said as she bent a knee and slid herself onto his lap. "But I didn't make that promise."
His hands trailed along her smooth thighs as her fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt. Holy shit, what was going on here? He'd forgotten what it was like to submit to a woman. He'd forgotten how delicious the agony was, how intoxicating the anticipation.
She leaned over and closed her mouth over his neck and he let his head fall back on the low back of the chair, breathing helplessly as her breath on his skin sent his nerves into a tizzy.
Finally, she opened his shirt and she let her hands trail gently over his chest as he bit his lip and let out a light groan of contentment. She sat up and reached her hands behind her back. No. Was she doing it? Was this it? His hands squeezed her thighs in anticipation as she slid her bra down her arms and dropped it onto the floor, revealing her perfect, bare breasts. He wanted her so bad he could taste her. And speaking of...
"Jesus, look at you," he whispered as he ran his hands along her waist. "It should be a damn crime to look the way you do. Come here." He pulled her close to him by her waist and reached up and took one of her breasts in his palm. Wrapping an arm around her waist, his other hand held his perfect prize in place as he took her in his mouth, his tongue immediately massaging the aroused, hardened nipple that he had wanted to desperately.
Above his head, Winn's long, red hair brushed against him as she hung her head and whimpered in ecstasy. These were the sounds he wanted to hear from her. These were the sounds he wanted to be solely responsible for.
She breathed and she moaned and she sighed and she clawed at the collar of his open shirt. Taking herself away from him, she lowered her mouth back onto his and then began moving her body slowly downward. She trailed her lips along his chin, down his neck, and onto his chest.
Isaac was just about to get comfortable when he realized that she kept going. And going. And then her body slid the rest of the way down into the floor until she was on her knees between his legs and he was sure he felt the heart attack coming. His chest heaved with his breathing and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. "Winn--"
She ignored him. She looked into his eyes as she unbuttoned his pants and within seconds, she had him exposed with her hand wrapped around him. He could have came right there. He wasn't one to come prematurely--on the contrary, his skills in longevity was something he was quite proud of. But tonight? Tonight was a completely different ballgame.
Shifting her hair to one side, she took him in her mouth and he let out an uncontrollable moan as her hot, wet mouth closed itself around him. He'd had plenty of blow jobs in his day--more than enough--but he'd never felt anything like this before. She did things--things with her tongue, things with her lips, the dynamics in her mouth--she did things to him that he only knew in dreams. He wouldn't last long and he knew it.
He took a fistful of her hair for his own. He couldn't help it. How dare he? How dare he allow her to do this to him? How dare he allow her to do this to him without his permission? Without his demand for it? How dare she just--how dare she just be so damn selfless? It felt so damn good it was almost like being on drugs.
As predicted, he didn't last long, which was a first for him. No woman had ever made him come this fast before. He bit his lip and he groaned and he breathed and he tried so hard to hold off and enjoy it but he just couldn't. He didn't have time to warn her before he came, but apparently that didn't matter. He watched her as he came, as she held him in her hand and took her mouth off of him, closing her eyes, slacking her jaw, and he watched himself come on her lips, her chin, and then she lifted her head back as it dripped down her neck. When he'd finished, his chest still heaving, she, then, licked her lips and smiled as she wiped her chin with her finger and slid her finger into her mouth. His eyes widened at the shock of the infuriatingly erotic act he'd just witnessed and his own jaw dropped. "Who the hell are you?" He breathed.
She stood up and she winked at him and she turned around to walk away. "Wait," he objected. "Where are you going?"
"To clean myself up," she said flirtatiously. "I can't very well stay dirty like this, can I?"
Isaac couldn't respond. He just couldn't. He didn't have the words. And so he watched her walk nearly naked across his condo, her ass swaying seductively as her heels clicked across his floor. Where had this woman come from?
Isaac regained his composure and stood in place for a second. Finally, he walked into his bedroom, took off his clothes, and slipped on a pair of black pajama bottoms. He turned his bed down, exposing the black satin sheets he slept on and then he frowned and threw the comforter nearly into the floor. He wanted to see her...her long legs and her porcelain skin with her red hair and her red toes stretched out against his sheets...good god, that visual.
He heard the bathroom door open and he met her in the small hallway as she stood in the doorway, obviously looking for him in the living room. He reached around from behind and pulled her tight against him. "How about we make ourselves more comfortable?" He breathed into her ear.
"I thought you were already pretty comfortable?"
"We're not talking about me anymore."
"Who says I'm not comfortable already?"
"Me."
"Well. It IS your place."
"You're right. It is."
"I mean, you know what's comfortable here, right?"
"Absolutely. My bed. I need you in it."
"Um..."
"It's not negotiable." He turned her around to face him. "Besides, it's late and you're naked. Where else would you rather be?"
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Winn didn't know who she was tonight. All she knew was that Isaac had managed to turn her into some...some sex-crazed nympho. Or maybe that was a little extreme. But her body wanted him in ways she knew it shouldn't and she had to admit, she was a little afraid of herself.
He led her into the bedroom and she took a second to look around. The room was large and spacious, the windows wide, and the king-sized bed with the black satin sheets dominated the room. Furniture was minimal, a couple of bedside tables, a dresser, a guitar in the corner and a TV on the wall.
She hadn't realized that she'd covered her chest with her arm until Isaac had stopped her by the bed and glanced down at it. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "Don't cover up. Why are you covering up?"
"Um..." Her eyes darted around the room. She didn't really have a response. She wasn't totally uncomfortable in her own skin, but there was a little more light in this room than there had been in the living room.
He gently put her arm down, revealing her again. "You don't need to cover up. Don't be shy."
Winn was a little taken aback by his tone. Not that it was a bad tone. On the contrary, it was almost...compassionate. Comforting. Caring, even. It sounded strange coming from him, but oddly soothing. "Come on," he said quietly. "Get in the bed."
She sat on the side of the bed and instinctively covered herself again. Her heart pounded. It had been so long since she'd been in bed with a man. REALLY in bed. It was one thing to have her head in Isaac's lap. How she'd convinced herself that she was even ready to do that was beyond her.
And then there were the sheets. The sheets made her heart sink...
But he had told her. He had said it. He'd said that he had no intention of sleeping with her tonight. And whether or not she'd performed anything oral on him, she still wasn't ready for sex. She didn't know what it was about it, but the thought scared her to death. So how she'd managed to find herself nearly naked and sitting on the edge of his bed, after much past objection, she had no idea. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her.
He must have sensed her apprehension because he sat himself gently on the bed beside her and reached around and let his fingers tangle in her hair. "What's going on with you? Just a few minutes ago you were, what, queen of the sex kittens and now--what changed?"
"I--uh--this--I just--it's probably time for me to go."
"Winn, no." He reached over and turned her face toward him. "Why do you keep trying to leave me?"
She let out a breath and her eyes darted over to the floor.
"Winn," he pressed gently. "I told you I had no intention of sleeping with you tonight and I meant it. I just want to give you what you gave me. I just want you to feel something tonight. Help you relieve some stress. That's all."
She turned and looked down at the bed. "We had satin sheets," she said quietly. "They were white, but they were satin. I loved them. Sleeping naked against them made me feel so beautiful. But then I came home that day--and she was all tangled up in them. With him. My beautiful sheets were--I burned them. I burned it all. I went crazy that day. I kicked him out. I blacked out, I literally tore the bed apart, made a fire in the back yard and took every piece of that bed, mattress and all, and threw it on the fire. Burned it all up. I haven't slept on satin sheets since."
"Shit, Winn," he said, letting his forehead rest against the side of her head. "I'll take them off the bed right now. I'll throw them away. Whatever you want."
The corners of her mouth turned up gratefully and she shook her head. "I can't let you do that, that's crazy. It'll be fine, I just--I think some things I've blocked out so then the little reminders here and there will just creep up on me and kinda hit me out of nowhere. I guess I haven't really fully recovered, you know?" Then she sighed. "I'm sorry, I've completely ruined this night."
He lifted his head and slid his arm around her shoulders. "You haven't ruined anything. I wanted to get to know you and this is just part of it. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I didn't, uh, I didn't realize it was quite that bad."
She looked over at him. "Anytime someone cheats on you, no matter the degree, it's always quite that bad."
He looked at her in silence for a moment before he glanced downwards then back up at her. "Look, we don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want to. I won't even kiss you. If you want, we can sleep in the spare room, those sheets are cotton. But, Winn, I--I don't know what's changed between an hour ago and now but something in me can't watch you walk out my door tonight."
Winn was silent. She didn't really know what to say. "You, um, you want me to stay?"
"Well, yeah..."
"I didn't, uh...I just assumed you didn't..."
"Come to bed. It's late anyway. Do you want something to put on?"
She studied his face for a moment, curiously. She couldn't get over his sudden change in attitude. His concern for her was almost as addicting as the way he seduced her. She found herself nodding in spite of herself and he grinned at her as he got up and crossed the room to the dresser. Holy crap. What was she doing? Why did this entire thing just tear her nerves all to hell?
She slipped on a plain, black t-shirt that he'd handed her and then he took her hand and led her into another room. Along the way she'd kicked off her shoes and the loss of the inches disoriented her for a second before she regained her focus.
She nearly experienced culture shock when he led her into the spare room. Nothing in the room was black, everything was white. The bed itself stood higher off the floor, a little smaller, and looked much more comfortable with cozier, white bedding and pillows for miles. "Excuse any dust you find in here," he said to her. "This room hasn't been used in ages."
Something about the statement unnerved her a little as she hesitantly settled herself in the bed, but she decided to let it go. Instead, she watched him turn down the bed, crawl in the other side, and then turn off the beside lamp. In the dark, he slid himself over and curled himself around her, wrapping an arm around her and resting his head against hers. They lay in silence for a moment as Winn's eyes remained wide open in the blackness of the room. Finally, she felt Isaac's hot breath against the back of her head through her hair. "Winn?" He said quietly. "What if I wanted to make a change? I mean, what if--what if I wanted to try, you know, maybe being a one-woman man?"
She furrowed her brow in confusion in the darkness. "Are we in some kind of weird space/time continuum thing? Are we in some kind of alternate universe or something? I'm kinda confused right now."
His low chuckle sent uninvited chills down Winn's spine. She couldn't remember the last time she lay in bed, wrapped up in a man's arms like this. Her nerves were shot and she could feel the tension in her body. "What are you even talking about?" He asked.
"About earlier. About how you delivered this entire monologue about how you like women and how you never like to get serious. And then now, it's like a switch flipped in you in a matter of hours where all of a sudden, you want to try to settle down. I'll be honest, it's making me a little dizzy."
"Maybe you inspire me," he said. "Maybe I WANT to be a better person--"
"Well, I don't think you're a BAD person--"
"That's just it. Right there. You're just so real about it. So frank, so matter of fact.
I don't really see the genuine side of anyone anymore. It's enough to make someone lose all faith in mankind."
She had to scoff a laugh. "That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?"
"Not in my world."
She shut her mouth and she thought about it for a second. How was it so easy to forget? He was right. He lived in a world where everyone wanted him all the time and hardly ever for any of the right reasons. He had grown accustomed to it and had lived his life accordingly. So something that may seem dramatic and outlandish to her was the norm in his world. It was something she didn't think she could ever get used to.
Finally, she turned over in his arms and settled on her back. "Ike. I'm glad that you feel like you want to--to better yourself. For the moment. But just don't let getting caught up in the moment right now make it temporary. You know what I mean?"
"I've been thinking about this for awhile--really, over the past week, and--I dunno, I think something changed when I met you. I think--I mean, I know--that I want you along for this--this journey, I don't know, I'm really starting to sound like a fucking sap right now."
"We've known each other, what, two weeks...?"
"And, yet, here you are, sleeping in my bed."
"I don't normally move this fast."
"I don't normally move this slow. And besides, how would you know how fast you move? You haven't moved at all for two years."
Winn was silent for a moment. He had a point. "So is this all we're going to do when we get together? Just sit here and over-analyze everything? 'Cause that seems to be all we ever really do...you know, besides the obvious."
"You could kiss me until you fall asleep," he said into her ear.
The statement warmed her heart almost instantly. The feeling was weird, but the statement was so simple and so sweet. She couldn't resist it if she tried.
She closed her eyes to find him in the dark and was then startled when she immediately saw Taylor's face. Her eyes flashed open again as her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. She took in a long breath and closed her eyes again, except that he was still there. She couldn't seem to shake it and she didn't like the way that felt.
In a desperate attempt to get Taylor and the feeling out of her head and her entire body, she turned herself completely into Isaac, found his face in the dark and kissed him eagerly. As he pulled her tight and kissed her back, she allowed herself to melt into him. Anything for a distraction. Anything at all.
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Wednesday evening, Taylor was at the front of the studio, making sure the door was locked before he walked out the back door. He stopped short when he spied Winn across the street underneath the glow of the street lamp as she unlocked her car in front of her office, curiously dressed in calf-length leggings, sneakers, and a hoodie.
Unable to help himself, and a little disappointed that he hadn't heard from her since their impromptu breakfast date the previous Friday, he stepped out the front door, locked it behind him, and trotted across the street.
"Winn," he said as he approached her, his heart sinking at the massive bouquet of roses that occupied the vase she held in her hand.
She turned her head and smiled at him as she opened her car door. "Tay, hi! What brings you out here?"
He shifted his weight and attempted to pick on her, the words making him sick to his stomach. "So, what, you get in good with my brother again and suddenly you forget all the little people, huh?"
She cut her eyes at him and smirked. "Don't be unfair, Tay. I've actually been very busy at work this week, I've been so exhausted..."
He nodded toward the flowers that she was now placing carefully into her car. "Those from him? Ike, I mean."
She smiled again. "Yeah, they are. It was so sweet of him to send them, wasn't it? Wait, how did you know?"
"How could I not? He can't keep your name out of his mouth."
She smiled again and Taylor wanted to throw up. Why was he doing this to himself? Why did he even come over here? Oh. Right. Because she was too damn irresistible, even from across the street. Attempting to change the subject, he looked her over. "Surely you didn't wear that to work today..."
She smirked again. "Of course I didn't. I have an exercise class tonight."
"Really? When did you start doing that?"
"Tonight's my first class."
"Really? Tonight? What kind of class is it?"
"Um, that's not really important. It's a workout, no biggie."
"Okay...uh, so anyway, I just wanted to say hey and stuff before you up and disappeared on me this week."
She stood up straight from her car door and looked at him in confusion. "Huh?"
"Well you obviously have a late flight tonight if you're headed to work out now."
Her expression remained puzzled. "Flight where?"
Now he was confused and he narrowed his eyes at her. "Home," he pressed. "For Thankgiving. Tomorrow. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Please tell me you remembered..."
"Oh," she said simply as she wiped some hair out of her face. "Yeah. I know. I'm not going home. I can't, I have to come into work on Friday."
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, we're open for business on Friday. We're really not supposed to take any time off this time of the year anyway and with the office being in the shape that it's in--"
"Winn, your family is six hours away. You should have taken the time off, I'm sure these guys are local, they could have handled it--"
"It wasn't feasible," she said, cutting him off the way he had her. "I'm not going to buy a plane ticket to eat a meal and come home. That's stupid."
Taylor was stunned. Absolutely floored. "Well, then, what--what are you doing, are you--I mean, you can't--"
She smiled. "I have tomorrow all planned out already. It's going to be peaceful and quiet, and completely all to myself. I'm going to watch the parade, have my coffee and pore over the Black Friday ads and plan my attack accordingly. I'll cook a little something, watch Christmas movies, decorate my tree, and then take a nap to prepare to shop. I have a full day tomorrow, it's gonna be great."
"Are you serious?"
She looked at him and blinked. "I'm completely serious."
"And you're okay with that?"
"I've been looking forward to it."
He had to put his foot down. He couldn't take it anymore. "Well I'm not. Okay with it, I mean. I don't like it."
"Nobody asked you," she snapped.
"I'm not okay with you being alone tomorrow."
"Well, I am."
He opened his mouth to speak, prepared to ask her why Isaac hadn't mentioned a thing about it, when he thought better of it and decided that maybe bringing up Isaac wasn't really necessary... "Come to dinner with my family tomorrow."
Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No. I couldn't. I can't impose like that."
"You're not imposing, I'm inviting you."
"Tay, I just--that's sweet, it really is. And thank you for the offer, I greatly appreciate it. But they don't know me and I don't know them and--"
"I admit, the sheer number of them can make it a little daunting at first, but I promise, you have nothing to worry about it. It's just my family. It's just me, Winn, come on. I wouldn't feel right sitting there knowing you're sitting at home alone. I just can't, I can't let that happen."
"I'm not a charity case--"
"Dammit, Winn, would you get over yourself already and just fucking come to dinner tomorrow?" Taylor clamped his mouth shut after that and held his breath for her reaction. He hadn't meant to snap like that, but just the thought of her sitting alone on a holiday like that was enough to rip his heart out and the holiday hadn't even arrived yet.
Her eyes were wide and she stared at him for a moment. She sucked in a breath and her voice cracked from the cold air. "Uh, okay. I, um, I guess I could...come over...for a bit..."
Holy shit, it actually worked. Zac was always telling him to be more assertive but he was afraid to be an asshole. Who knew women actually responded to this? Taylor wanted to feel on top of the world in that moment if he didn't already feel like shit for snapping at her.
"Um, okay," he said. "Good. Uh, I can come get you if you want. I have some running around to do and then I can be over around noon or so--"
"Running around?"
"What?"
"You said you had running around to do. What kind of running around do you have to do on a holiday?"
"It's just--it's nothing major, just a few errands..."
"On a holiday..."
Finally, he sighed and he ran his hand through his hair. "I, um, every Thanksgiving morning, and sometimes on Christmas, I do, um, I run deliveries for the Mobile Meals program? I mean, only for a few hours, it's no big deal really..."
Her face softened and she smiled at him. "Tay...are you serious?"
"Yeah. I mean, like I said, it's no big deal, really. I mean, I'm single, I have the time...why not, right?"
"I wanna go."
Taylor was shocked at her words. Startled, even. He nearly forgot to speak for a moment. "Really?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I wanna go. I wanna help, I love that you do that. Do you--do you have any idea just how great a person you are? Seriously?"
He blushed and glanced at the pavement underneath his feet. "It's not--it's not really a big deal..."
"Maybe not to you, but it is to those people you're helping. You're amazing, Tay. You should know that."
Taylor didn't need to hear this right now. Not coming from her. Not while he knew she had a thing for his brother.
Then he thought about Isaac and his heart warmed. Imagine the look on Isaac's face when Taylor walked in with Winn tomorrow. He had to admit, he almost felt bad for having the thought but he was glad for the distraction so he chose to embrace it. Suddenly collecting himself, he smiled. "So, yeah. I'll, uh, I'll be at your place early. We'll go do our runs and then we'll head over to my mom's. Sound like a plan?"
"Yeah," she agreed. "Yeah, I, uh--thank you. For inviting me, I mean. That means a lot." She glanced at her car and then back up at Taylor. "I'm gonna be late if I don't get going. Guess I really need to get this workout in now, huh?" She giggled a little as she leaned up and pecked his cheek quickly. Why was she doing this lately? Was this a new thing for her? Did she not know what it did to him?
No, of course she didn't.
As she got in her car to drive away, he trotted back across the street, a smile creeping across his face. Score one for Taylor.
Dinner was delicious. Conversation stayed light-hearted and Winn found herself smiling for the majority of the meal. When they had stuffed themselves, and after Isaac had poured more wine, he'd pulled his bar stool closer to her and rested his elbow on the bar. "So how was your day?" He asked, his voice gentle and even, as he traced the edge of his wine glass with his finger.
Winn chuckled, amused. "I've been here, what, an hour and you're just now asking me?"
He smiled back. "I wanna know."
"I worked this morning and then I went shopping and...that's it."
"What did you buy?"
"You're looking at it."
He reached down and took hold of the seam at the bottom of her dress and rubbed it between his thumb and his forefinger. "You bought this just for me?"
"Well...I mean, I needed a new dress..."
"But you went out and you bought a dress just to see me tonight."
"It's what women do..."
"Humor me."
"Then, yes. I did."
"Did you think about me when you tried it on? Did you picture my reaction? Could you feel the anticipation of my hands all over the material?"
Winn's heart pounded. How could she be THIS physically attracted to a man in such a short period of time? How could a man say such things to her in such a way to cause her to lose her sanity at a moment's notice? How was that even fair? She rested her chin on her hand and she narrowed her eyes and smiled at him. "You said we could talk about you tonight."
"You don't forget anything, do you?"
"I want to talk about you."
"Well, I think talking about you is much more fun."
"We already talked about me."
"I want more."
"Then earn it."
Isaac let out a breath and swirled the wine in his glass before he took a sip. "Okay. What do you want to know?"
"Is it a defense mechanism? The way you go straight to the sexual innuendoes? And the flirting?"
"Why is this already feeling like a therapy session?"
"It's just a question. You said we could address my preconceived notions."
"So you DO have preconceived notions."
"Well, I'm only human."
"It's not enough that maybe I just want you? That maybe I say things as I feel them? Maybe you just turn me on that much."
"I thought you liked to know what made people tick? But while your turn-ons are obviously more physical, mine are more...mental..."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I like that word, 'obviously.' It intrigues me. Am I really that obvious?"
"Painfully."
He glanced down and shifted in his seat. "Hm." Then he looked back up at her. "Do I come on too strong? Does that make you uncomfortable?"
She shook her head. "No. But I want to know you. Beyond this...this Don Juan persona you seem to have created for yourself. That's not the real you. It can't be."
Isaac looked at her for a moment and straightened up in his seat. "I like women. I enjoy dating women. I'm just not ready to settle down. I'm clear with all of the women I date, it's not my fault if they want to perceive my actions or my words otherwise. So I have this...this stigma following me. But people talk, that's all it is. I can't do anything about that. I can't change it. I can only be who I am. And I've been clear with you, just as I am with all of them. I like you, I'm not ready for a commitment, and I just want to have fun. If that's not enough for you, then I'm sorry."
"So that's it, then. I'm a notch. I mean, you're right. You did make it perfectly clear. Crystal, actually. And the truth is, I'm not ready for a commitment, either--"
"So, then, I'm your notch, as well."
Winn looked across at Isaac, dumbfounded. What had just happened here? She wasn't him. She was nothing like him. Not even close. And what notch could he possibly be, she hadn't even slept with him yet. However, she knew she couldn't be that literal about it. "I don't think this is going to work," she said quietly.
"I assumed we were at an understanding here. Give me one good reason why it wouldn't work."
"Because--because I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't help it, I feel everything. But you--I don't think you even have any to wear."
"Do you know what emotion I'm feeling right now?"
"Desperately."
"Disappointment."
Winn's heart sank. She hadn't meant to hurt him. She knew that maybe she had been a little too harsh with him--maybe a little too blunt. But she wasn't going to go without letting him know what she thought, either. She put her wine glass down and stood up. "Um, I should go. Thank you for dinner, it was excellent."
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Isaac's eyes widened in alarm. How had this happened? Where had this conversation gone? Was he really that bad? He had already planned on not sleeping with her tonight because he assumed she wouldn't be up for it and that was an accomplishment in itself. He was actually proud of himself for inviting her over anyway.
He grabbed her hand as she stood. "Winn. What do you want?"
She paused and she stared into his eyes for a moment. Her expression read hurt and his heart sank. His heart. There it went, feeling again. Damn it. "I have no problem with being casual and having fun," she said quietly. "I honestly have so much on my plate right now that a commitment would just bog me down. So, in that respect, we're agreed. But I don't want to be discarded. I don't want to be a notch, I don't--I don't want to be insignificant."
"I'm not trying to discard you--"
"But you will. And I need to get out while I'm still ahead."
She attempted to pull away, but he pulled her back. "Winn, no. Please. Look, you've practically got me on my knees here and that's kinda out of character for me. Okay? Just--just don't go. I wasn't--I didn't have any intention of sleeping with you tonight. Does that make a difference?"
She searched his eyes for a moment before she let out a breath and shook her head. "Of course you would say that now..."
"It's the truth. I know you're not ready. I knew it last night when I invited you to dinner. I invited you here because, believe it or not, I enjoy spending time with you. Look, you're right, okay? Kind of. I do tend to jump over to the flirting and the sexual innuendos when I start feeling emotional about something, it's almost like a reflex. I don't--I don't know how to care freely anymore. I just--I just need someone to be patient
with me. Please."
He searched her face for something. Anything. This was the most honest he'd been with a woman in quite a long time and he prayed it wouldn't backfire on him. Though if it did, he guessed he deserved it. Finally, she sighed, defeated. "I am severely attracted to you. More than I should be. I wish I knew what it was. I just wish I knew who exactly I was attracted to. I wish I knew which side of you was real."
"Right here," he said. "Right here, this is real. I'm not--I'm not feeding you lines, I'm not trying to tell you what I think you want to hear. I really want you to stay, I really want to spend time with you. I want you to trust me."
"Why me? Why, all of a sudden, when you have an entire city of women at your fingertips, are you suddenly trying to get in good with a small-town girl from Texas? I'm nobody, Ike. There is nothing you can gain from me."
He pulled her closer and took her other hand in his. "Because you make me feel things. Things I haven't felt in a very long time and it scares the shit out of me and I don't like it but I can't control it, either. And maybe--maybe it turns out that I miss feeling those things, even though I can't really pinpoint what those things are at the moment. But they're not bad things and, honestly, it's been a long time since I've actually felt
something good. I don't want you to pity me. I don't want your emotional charity. But you wanted to know me and you wanted to know what made me tick and there it is. I'm broken. I've been broken for years. That's the man behind the curtain, Winn. But don't you dare tell a soul because I'll deny every word of it."
The corners of her mouth turned up in amusement as she glanced at the floor and back up into his eyes. "I believe you," she said quietly. "But don't make me regret it."
He looked into her eyes and pulled her a little closer. "What do you want, Winn? I'm at your mercy tonight, you can have anything you want."
Winn's smile widened in amusement. "That's awfully bold."
"Trust me, it hurts like hell to say it, I'm a control freak."
She giggled and that made Isaac smile. Relief washed over him. Maybe he'd actually managed to salvage the night. His heart pounded as her hands crept up the collar of his jacket. "I want to have fun. You keep saying that's all you want, but the truth is, we're not having fun yet."
"I can be fun," he volunteered seductively.
"You should put your money where your mouth is."
His arms slid around her waist and he smiled. "So now you want me..."
"I never not wanted you..."
"So you're gonna break me and then take me, is that it?"
Winn laughed and shook her head. "That sounded so stupid."
He laughed in response. "Yeah, it kinda did, didn't it?"
"That's what I like," she said, still smiling. "That's what's real. I like when you laugh and I like when you smile. It looks good on you."
"I look good on you."
She shook her head as her face neared closer to his. "I think I look better on you," she whispered. And then she kissed him. She pressed her body against his with need and he could feel every single curve underneath her dress. He held her tight against him, entangling his hand in the back of her hair and letting out a soft moan as her tongue danced sensuously in his mouth.
She broke their kiss. "Do you trust me?"
Again, trust wasn't something Isaac did. He searched for an answer.
He only waited roughly three seconds before she spoke again. "I mean right now. Just for tonight, in this moment. Do you trust me?"
He narrowed his eyes and nodded. "Oh yeah." He leaned in to kiss her, ultimately melting into her, aware of the grip she had on his jacket.
As he kissed her, she peeled the jacket back off of his shoulders. He struggled a little getting his arms out of his sleeves, but was finally successful as he took her face in his hands and desperately deepened their kiss.
To his surprise, she began to move. She opened her eyes and broke their kiss, smiling at him and slowly walking him backward into the living room. "Winn," he whispered. "What are you doing?"
"Trust me. It's okay."
"What's okay?"
"It's okay if you trust me tonight."
He didn't realize they'd stopped moving until she dropped him into his favorite, deep, black armchair. He was rendered speechless as he stared up at her. He couldn't remember the last time he'd surrendered control like this and he was certainly surprised at her sudden boldness considering her lack of current sexual history.
She turned her back to him and sat herself between his legs, directly in his lap, exactly in the place he needed her to be. His breathing quickened as she arched her back and sat up straight, sweeping her hair to the side. "Will you?" She asked as she looked over her shoulder.
Wordlessly, he obeyed and he unzipped the back of her dress. He was quickly losing his mind.
She smiled and thanked him as she stood up, hugging the dress against her chest. She then turned around to face him and wiggled her way out of it, letting the black dress fall to the floor around her ankles, revealing the simple black bra and panties set she wore underneath. The bra barely covered her chest and seemed to push them up in a position so right that Isaac nearly lost the ability to breathe. His eyes drank her body in, her
hourglass figure, her flat stomach, her legs that went for miles..."Holy fuck, Winn," he said breathlessly. "What are you trying to do to me? I told you I was on my best behavior tonight."
"Maybe you said that," she said as she bent a knee and slid herself onto his lap. "But I didn't make that promise."
His hands trailed along her smooth thighs as her fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt. Holy shit, what was going on here? He'd forgotten what it was like to submit to a woman. He'd forgotten how delicious the agony was, how intoxicating the anticipation.
She leaned over and closed her mouth over his neck and he let his head fall back on the low back of the chair, breathing helplessly as her breath on his skin sent his nerves into a tizzy.
Finally, she opened his shirt and she let her hands trail gently over his chest as he bit his lip and let out a light groan of contentment. She sat up and reached her hands behind her back. No. Was she doing it? Was this it? His hands squeezed her thighs in anticipation as she slid her bra down her arms and dropped it onto the floor, revealing her perfect, bare breasts. He wanted her so bad he could taste her. And speaking of...
"Jesus, look at you," he whispered as he ran his hands along her waist. "It should be a damn crime to look the way you do. Come here." He pulled her close to him by her waist and reached up and took one of her breasts in his palm. Wrapping an arm around her waist, his other hand held his perfect prize in place as he took her in his mouth, his tongue immediately massaging the aroused, hardened nipple that he had wanted to desperately.
Above his head, Winn's long, red hair brushed against him as she hung her head and whimpered in ecstasy. These were the sounds he wanted to hear from her. These were the sounds he wanted to be solely responsible for.
She breathed and she moaned and she sighed and she clawed at the collar of his open shirt. Taking herself away from him, she lowered her mouth back onto his and then began moving her body slowly downward. She trailed her lips along his chin, down his neck, and onto his chest.
Isaac was just about to get comfortable when he realized that she kept going. And going. And then her body slid the rest of the way down into the floor until she was on her knees between his legs and he was sure he felt the heart attack coming. His chest heaved with his breathing and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. "Winn--"
She ignored him. She looked into his eyes as she unbuttoned his pants and within seconds, she had him exposed with her hand wrapped around him. He could have came right there. He wasn't one to come prematurely--on the contrary, his skills in longevity was something he was quite proud of. But tonight? Tonight was a completely different ballgame.
Shifting her hair to one side, she took him in her mouth and he let out an uncontrollable moan as her hot, wet mouth closed itself around him. He'd had plenty of blow jobs in his day--more than enough--but he'd never felt anything like this before. She did things--things with her tongue, things with her lips, the dynamics in her mouth--she did things to him that he only knew in dreams. He wouldn't last long and he knew it.
He took a fistful of her hair for his own. He couldn't help it. How dare he? How dare he allow her to do this to him? How dare he allow her to do this to him without his permission? Without his demand for it? How dare she just--how dare she just be so damn selfless? It felt so damn good it was almost like being on drugs.
As predicted, he didn't last long, which was a first for him. No woman had ever made him come this fast before. He bit his lip and he groaned and he breathed and he tried so hard to hold off and enjoy it but he just couldn't. He didn't have time to warn her before he came, but apparently that didn't matter. He watched her as he came, as she held him in her hand and took her mouth off of him, closing her eyes, slacking her jaw, and he watched himself come on her lips, her chin, and then she lifted her head back as it dripped down her neck. When he'd finished, his chest still heaving, she, then, licked her lips and smiled as she wiped her chin with her finger and slid her finger into her mouth. His eyes widened at the shock of the infuriatingly erotic act he'd just witnessed and his own jaw dropped. "Who the hell are you?" He breathed.
She stood up and she winked at him and she turned around to walk away. "Wait," he objected. "Where are you going?"
"To clean myself up," she said flirtatiously. "I can't very well stay dirty like this, can I?"
Isaac couldn't respond. He just couldn't. He didn't have the words. And so he watched her walk nearly naked across his condo, her ass swaying seductively as her heels clicked across his floor. Where had this woman come from?
Isaac regained his composure and stood in place for a second. Finally, he walked into his bedroom, took off his clothes, and slipped on a pair of black pajama bottoms. He turned his bed down, exposing the black satin sheets he slept on and then he frowned and threw the comforter nearly into the floor. He wanted to see her...her long legs and her porcelain skin with her red hair and her red toes stretched out against his sheets...good god, that visual.
He heard the bathroom door open and he met her in the small hallway as she stood in the doorway, obviously looking for him in the living room. He reached around from behind and pulled her tight against him. "How about we make ourselves more comfortable?" He breathed into her ear.
"I thought you were already pretty comfortable?"
"We're not talking about me anymore."
"Who says I'm not comfortable already?"
"Me."
"Well. It IS your place."
"You're right. It is."
"I mean, you know what's comfortable here, right?"
"Absolutely. My bed. I need you in it."
"Um..."
"It's not negotiable." He turned her around to face him. "Besides, it's late and you're naked. Where else would you rather be?"
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Winn didn't know who she was tonight. All she knew was that Isaac had managed to turn her into some...some sex-crazed nympho. Or maybe that was a little extreme. But her body wanted him in ways she knew it shouldn't and she had to admit, she was a little afraid of herself.
He led her into the bedroom and she took a second to look around. The room was large and spacious, the windows wide, and the king-sized bed with the black satin sheets dominated the room. Furniture was minimal, a couple of bedside tables, a dresser, a guitar in the corner and a TV on the wall.
She hadn't realized that she'd covered her chest with her arm until Isaac had stopped her by the bed and glanced down at it. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "Don't cover up. Why are you covering up?"
"Um..." Her eyes darted around the room. She didn't really have a response. She wasn't totally uncomfortable in her own skin, but there was a little more light in this room than there had been in the living room.
He gently put her arm down, revealing her again. "You don't need to cover up. Don't be shy."
Winn was a little taken aback by his tone. Not that it was a bad tone. On the contrary, it was almost...compassionate. Comforting. Caring, even. It sounded strange coming from him, but oddly soothing. "Come on," he said quietly. "Get in the bed."
She sat on the side of the bed and instinctively covered herself again. Her heart pounded. It had been so long since she'd been in bed with a man. REALLY in bed. It was one thing to have her head in Isaac's lap. How she'd convinced herself that she was even ready to do that was beyond her.
And then there were the sheets. The sheets made her heart sink...
But he had told her. He had said it. He'd said that he had no intention of sleeping with her tonight. And whether or not she'd performed anything oral on him, she still wasn't ready for sex. She didn't know what it was about it, but the thought scared her to death. So how she'd managed to find herself nearly naked and sitting on the edge of his bed, after much past objection, she had no idea. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her.
He must have sensed her apprehension because he sat himself gently on the bed beside her and reached around and let his fingers tangle in her hair. "What's going on with you? Just a few minutes ago you were, what, queen of the sex kittens and now--what changed?"
"I--uh--this--I just--it's probably time for me to go."
"Winn, no." He reached over and turned her face toward him. "Why do you keep trying to leave me?"
She let out a breath and her eyes darted over to the floor.
"Winn," he pressed gently. "I told you I had no intention of sleeping with you tonight and I meant it. I just want to give you what you gave me. I just want you to feel something tonight. Help you relieve some stress. That's all."
She turned and looked down at the bed. "We had satin sheets," she said quietly. "They were white, but they were satin. I loved them. Sleeping naked against them made me feel so beautiful. But then I came home that day--and she was all tangled up in them. With him. My beautiful sheets were--I burned them. I burned it all. I went crazy that day. I kicked him out. I blacked out, I literally tore the bed apart, made a fire in the back yard and took every piece of that bed, mattress and all, and threw it on the fire. Burned it all up. I haven't slept on satin sheets since."
"Shit, Winn," he said, letting his forehead rest against the side of her head. "I'll take them off the bed right now. I'll throw them away. Whatever you want."
The corners of her mouth turned up gratefully and she shook her head. "I can't let you do that, that's crazy. It'll be fine, I just--I think some things I've blocked out so then the little reminders here and there will just creep up on me and kinda hit me out of nowhere. I guess I haven't really fully recovered, you know?" Then she sighed. "I'm sorry, I've completely ruined this night."
He lifted his head and slid his arm around her shoulders. "You haven't ruined anything. I wanted to get to know you and this is just part of it. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I didn't, uh, I didn't realize it was quite that bad."
She looked over at him. "Anytime someone cheats on you, no matter the degree, it's always quite that bad."
He looked at her in silence for a moment before he glanced downwards then back up at her. "Look, we don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want to. I won't even kiss you. If you want, we can sleep in the spare room, those sheets are cotton. But, Winn, I--I don't know what's changed between an hour ago and now but something in me can't watch you walk out my door tonight."
Winn was silent. She didn't really know what to say. "You, um, you want me to stay?"
"Well, yeah..."
"I didn't, uh...I just assumed you didn't..."
"Come to bed. It's late anyway. Do you want something to put on?"
She studied his face for a moment, curiously. She couldn't get over his sudden change in attitude. His concern for her was almost as addicting as the way he seduced her. She found herself nodding in spite of herself and he grinned at her as he got up and crossed the room to the dresser. Holy crap. What was she doing? Why did this entire thing just tear her nerves all to hell?
She slipped on a plain, black t-shirt that he'd handed her and then he took her hand and led her into another room. Along the way she'd kicked off her shoes and the loss of the inches disoriented her for a second before she regained her focus.
She nearly experienced culture shock when he led her into the spare room. Nothing in the room was black, everything was white. The bed itself stood higher off the floor, a little smaller, and looked much more comfortable with cozier, white bedding and pillows for miles. "Excuse any dust you find in here," he said to her. "This room hasn't been used in ages."
Something about the statement unnerved her a little as she hesitantly settled herself in the bed, but she decided to let it go. Instead, she watched him turn down the bed, crawl in the other side, and then turn off the beside lamp. In the dark, he slid himself over and curled himself around her, wrapping an arm around her and resting his head against hers. They lay in silence for a moment as Winn's eyes remained wide open in the blackness of the room. Finally, she felt Isaac's hot breath against the back of her head through her hair. "Winn?" He said quietly. "What if I wanted to make a change? I mean, what if--what if I wanted to try, you know, maybe being a one-woman man?"
She furrowed her brow in confusion in the darkness. "Are we in some kind of weird space/time continuum thing? Are we in some kind of alternate universe or something? I'm kinda confused right now."
His low chuckle sent uninvited chills down Winn's spine. She couldn't remember the last time she lay in bed, wrapped up in a man's arms like this. Her nerves were shot and she could feel the tension in her body. "What are you even talking about?" He asked.
"About earlier. About how you delivered this entire monologue about how you like women and how you never like to get serious. And then now, it's like a switch flipped in you in a matter of hours where all of a sudden, you want to try to settle down. I'll be honest, it's making me a little dizzy."
"Maybe you inspire me," he said. "Maybe I WANT to be a better person--"
"Well, I don't think you're a BAD person--"
"That's just it. Right there. You're just so real about it. So frank, so matter of fact.
I don't really see the genuine side of anyone anymore. It's enough to make someone lose all faith in mankind."
She had to scoff a laugh. "That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?"
"Not in my world."
She shut her mouth and she thought about it for a second. How was it so easy to forget? He was right. He lived in a world where everyone wanted him all the time and hardly ever for any of the right reasons. He had grown accustomed to it and had lived his life accordingly. So something that may seem dramatic and outlandish to her was the norm in his world. It was something she didn't think she could ever get used to.
Finally, she turned over in his arms and settled on her back. "Ike. I'm glad that you feel like you want to--to better yourself. For the moment. But just don't let getting caught up in the moment right now make it temporary. You know what I mean?"
"I've been thinking about this for awhile--really, over the past week, and--I dunno, I think something changed when I met you. I think--I mean, I know--that I want you along for this--this journey, I don't know, I'm really starting to sound like a fucking sap right now."
"We've known each other, what, two weeks...?"
"And, yet, here you are, sleeping in my bed."
"I don't normally move this fast."
"I don't normally move this slow. And besides, how would you know how fast you move? You haven't moved at all for two years."
Winn was silent for a moment. He had a point. "So is this all we're going to do when we get together? Just sit here and over-analyze everything? 'Cause that seems to be all we ever really do...you know, besides the obvious."
"You could kiss me until you fall asleep," he said into her ear.
The statement warmed her heart almost instantly. The feeling was weird, but the statement was so simple and so sweet. She couldn't resist it if she tried.
She closed her eyes to find him in the dark and was then startled when she immediately saw Taylor's face. Her eyes flashed open again as her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. She took in a long breath and closed her eyes again, except that he was still there. She couldn't seem to shake it and she didn't like the way that felt.
In a desperate attempt to get Taylor and the feeling out of her head and her entire body, she turned herself completely into Isaac, found his face in the dark and kissed him eagerly. As he pulled her tight and kissed her back, she allowed herself to melt into him. Anything for a distraction. Anything at all.
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Wednesday evening, Taylor was at the front of the studio, making sure the door was locked before he walked out the back door. He stopped short when he spied Winn across the street underneath the glow of the street lamp as she unlocked her car in front of her office, curiously dressed in calf-length leggings, sneakers, and a hoodie.
Unable to help himself, and a little disappointed that he hadn't heard from her since their impromptu breakfast date the previous Friday, he stepped out the front door, locked it behind him, and trotted across the street.
"Winn," he said as he approached her, his heart sinking at the massive bouquet of roses that occupied the vase she held in her hand.
She turned her head and smiled at him as she opened her car door. "Tay, hi! What brings you out here?"
He shifted his weight and attempted to pick on her, the words making him sick to his stomach. "So, what, you get in good with my brother again and suddenly you forget all the little people, huh?"
She cut her eyes at him and smirked. "Don't be unfair, Tay. I've actually been very busy at work this week, I've been so exhausted..."
He nodded toward the flowers that she was now placing carefully into her car. "Those from him? Ike, I mean."
She smiled again. "Yeah, they are. It was so sweet of him to send them, wasn't it? Wait, how did you know?"
"How could I not? He can't keep your name out of his mouth."
She smiled again and Taylor wanted to throw up. Why was he doing this to himself? Why did he even come over here? Oh. Right. Because she was too damn irresistible, even from across the street. Attempting to change the subject, he looked her over. "Surely you didn't wear that to work today..."
She smirked again. "Of course I didn't. I have an exercise class tonight."
"Really? When did you start doing that?"
"Tonight's my first class."
"Really? Tonight? What kind of class is it?"
"Um, that's not really important. It's a workout, no biggie."
"Okay...uh, so anyway, I just wanted to say hey and stuff before you up and disappeared on me this week."
She stood up straight from her car door and looked at him in confusion. "Huh?"
"Well you obviously have a late flight tonight if you're headed to work out now."
Her expression remained puzzled. "Flight where?"
Now he was confused and he narrowed his eyes at her. "Home," he pressed. "For Thankgiving. Tomorrow. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Please tell me you remembered..."
"Oh," she said simply as she wiped some hair out of her face. "Yeah. I know. I'm not going home. I can't, I have to come into work on Friday."
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, we're open for business on Friday. We're really not supposed to take any time off this time of the year anyway and with the office being in the shape that it's in--"
"Winn, your family is six hours away. You should have taken the time off, I'm sure these guys are local, they could have handled it--"
"It wasn't feasible," she said, cutting him off the way he had her. "I'm not going to buy a plane ticket to eat a meal and come home. That's stupid."
Taylor was stunned. Absolutely floored. "Well, then, what--what are you doing, are you--I mean, you can't--"
She smiled. "I have tomorrow all planned out already. It's going to be peaceful and quiet, and completely all to myself. I'm going to watch the parade, have my coffee and pore over the Black Friday ads and plan my attack accordingly. I'll cook a little something, watch Christmas movies, decorate my tree, and then take a nap to prepare to shop. I have a full day tomorrow, it's gonna be great."
"Are you serious?"
She looked at him and blinked. "I'm completely serious."
"And you're okay with that?"
"I've been looking forward to it."
He had to put his foot down. He couldn't take it anymore. "Well I'm not. Okay with it, I mean. I don't like it."
"Nobody asked you," she snapped.
"I'm not okay with you being alone tomorrow."
"Well, I am."
He opened his mouth to speak, prepared to ask her why Isaac hadn't mentioned a thing about it, when he thought better of it and decided that maybe bringing up Isaac wasn't really necessary... "Come to dinner with my family tomorrow."
Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No. I couldn't. I can't impose like that."
"You're not imposing, I'm inviting you."
"Tay, I just--that's sweet, it really is. And thank you for the offer, I greatly appreciate it. But they don't know me and I don't know them and--"
"I admit, the sheer number of them can make it a little daunting at first, but I promise, you have nothing to worry about it. It's just my family. It's just me, Winn, come on. I wouldn't feel right sitting there knowing you're sitting at home alone. I just can't, I can't let that happen."
"I'm not a charity case--"
"Dammit, Winn, would you get over yourself already and just fucking come to dinner tomorrow?" Taylor clamped his mouth shut after that and held his breath for her reaction. He hadn't meant to snap like that, but just the thought of her sitting alone on a holiday like that was enough to rip his heart out and the holiday hadn't even arrived yet.
Her eyes were wide and she stared at him for a moment. She sucked in a breath and her voice cracked from the cold air. "Uh, okay. I, um, I guess I could...come over...for a bit..."
Holy shit, it actually worked. Zac was always telling him to be more assertive but he was afraid to be an asshole. Who knew women actually responded to this? Taylor wanted to feel on top of the world in that moment if he didn't already feel like shit for snapping at her.
"Um, okay," he said. "Good. Uh, I can come get you if you want. I have some running around to do and then I can be over around noon or so--"
"Running around?"
"What?"
"You said you had running around to do. What kind of running around do you have to do on a holiday?"
"It's just--it's nothing major, just a few errands..."
"On a holiday..."
Finally, he sighed and he ran his hand through his hair. "I, um, every Thanksgiving morning, and sometimes on Christmas, I do, um, I run deliveries for the Mobile Meals program? I mean, only for a few hours, it's no big deal really..."
Her face softened and she smiled at him. "Tay...are you serious?"
"Yeah. I mean, like I said, it's no big deal, really. I mean, I'm single, I have the time...why not, right?"
"I wanna go."
Taylor was shocked at her words. Startled, even. He nearly forgot to speak for a moment. "Really?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I wanna go. I wanna help, I love that you do that. Do you--do you have any idea just how great a person you are? Seriously?"
He blushed and glanced at the pavement underneath his feet. "It's not--it's not really a big deal..."
"Maybe not to you, but it is to those people you're helping. You're amazing, Tay. You should know that."
Taylor didn't need to hear this right now. Not coming from her. Not while he knew she had a thing for his brother.
Then he thought about Isaac and his heart warmed. Imagine the look on Isaac's face when Taylor walked in with Winn tomorrow. He had to admit, he almost felt bad for having the thought but he was glad for the distraction so he chose to embrace it. Suddenly collecting himself, he smiled. "So, yeah. I'll, uh, I'll be at your place early. We'll go do our runs and then we'll head over to my mom's. Sound like a plan?"
"Yeah," she agreed. "Yeah, I, uh--thank you. For inviting me, I mean. That means a lot." She glanced at her car and then back up at Taylor. "I'm gonna be late if I don't get going. Guess I really need to get this workout in now, huh?" She giggled a little as she leaned up and pecked his cheek quickly. Why was she doing this lately? Was this a new thing for her? Did she not know what it did to him?
No, of course she didn't.
As she got in her car to drive away, he trotted back across the street, a smile creeping across his face. Score one for Taylor.