FEAR
Winn wasn't sure exactly what possessed her to not only answer Isaac's call, but to also accept his invite to dinner, but she did it anyway. And she hadn't really thought it through when she answered. Was it hormones? Was it emotional exhaustion? She agreed that they needed to talk. To be honest, she was surprised he even wanted to speak to her at all.
Wednesday night, when Isaac let her inside his apartment, it had been three weeks since she had laid eyes on Taylor and she was four weeks pregnant. The apartment smelled amazing and Winn's mouth watered.
Standing in Isaac's apartment, looking around, things felt different. She expected it to be awkward, except that, oddly, it wasn't. There was no mood lighting, there were no candles, there were no wine glasses or light jazz playing. It was bright and it was warm and it was inviting. Isaac didn't wear a suit to try to impress her. He milled around in jeans and a t-shirt and she couldn't even smell his aftershave. For the first time since she'd met him, she felt comfortable in his apartment.
He smiled at her as he took her coat and hung it on the nearby rack. She was glad she opted to wear a loose sweater. She hadn't gained much weight but she felt like her pregnancy was shining bright in blinking lights all over her body. "I'm glad you came," he said.
She smiled back at him. "Thank you for inviting me. It smells great in here, what are you making?"
He smiled again with a hint of a blush. "I've spent a little time lately Googling a few recipes and decided to actually try one. I may or may not have tricked you into being my guinea pig for a Mexican dish."
She rubbed her stomach as she heard it grumble. "Lucky for you, I'm starving."
"Good."
As they sat at the bar and ate, Isaac didn't sit as close to her as he normally did. He kept a safe distance and he didn't make eyes at her, he didn't flirt--he was like a completely different person now than she was used to.
After he'd put a decent-sized dent in his food, he finally said to her, "Look, uh, thank you again for coming over. I mean, if you turned me down, I would understand."
"I'm not mad at you. I was never mad at you. Well, let me rephrase that. I was never mad at you initially...until I was more or less threatened with my job..."
Isaac put his fork down and looked at her. "Oh, Winn..."
"I didn't LOSE my job. But the company doesn't look too kindly on their managers ending up in tabloid news associated with--with the fighting and--and Tay's arrest got roped in there and--"
"I am so sorry. I--I'm so ashamed of myself, Winn, I never meant for any of this to--I was angry. I'll admit it, I got angry and--and I hit him and I started it and I promise you, if I could take it all back, I would."
"I never meant to hurt you," she whispered, the lump forming in her throat. "I wasn't--I wasn't trying to string you along or lead you on or anything. And I meant the things I said to you, I just--you deserve so much better, Ike. You were so good to me and I--I couldn't be what you needed me to be..."
"I've had a lot of time to think. And I--I was--I don't know how things got as far as they did. I wasn't really...I dunno, going about things the right way? I, um, I liked you, I really--I really did but I think--I think I was just so desperate to feel something that I tried to--to rush...EVERYTHING. You know?"
Winn looked down at her plate, her stomach rumbling again. She glanced up at the hot sauce on the bar and, for a moment, her emotions took a backseat to the spicy heaven that filled her nostrils as she shook it out onto her food. She took a bite and she spoke with her mouth full. "You wanna know a secret? I kinda felt the same way. I really liked you, too, but I spent a lot of time just...just forcing it to happen. I care about you. That'll never change. But my other feelings, I can't--I can't help those. I want to, but I can't."
Isaac smirked and went back to his plate. "So, basically, we were both pretty fucked up."
"A disaster waiting to happen."
They were silent as they went back to their plates. Winn swore it tasted better now than it did before. "This is so good," she said. "I think you have something here. I'm happy to be your guinea pig anytime you want."
Isaac chuckled lightly. "Thank you, I'm glad you like it. So, uh, does that mean we're cool?"
"Yeah," Winn nodded, shoveling in another forkful. "Yeah, we're cool."
He put his fork down and he studied her for a moment as she tried to ignore his eyes on her. Finally, he said, "How far along are you, Winn?"
The blood drained from her face and she put her fork down, swallowing the bite she'd been chewing. "What?"
"You can't fool me. I grew up extremely familiar with pregnancy. And I'm also extremely familiar with you. You've put on a couple of pounds since I last saw you. Which is completely okay, except that you hate spicy food. And, yet, tonight, you've nearly drained my Tobasco bottle."
"I'll buy you more--"
"Don't change the subject."
Her eyes fell. She didn't think she'd actually get busted. "Four weeks," she said quietly. "Nearly."
She watched the shock wash over Isaac's face. She swore she could actually see him counting and her heart pounded. Then his eyes met hers. "It's my baby..."
She looked at him and she shook her head with barely any movement at all. He looked back at her confused. "Uh, yes, it is. If you're four weeks along, then it's my baby..."
Winn suddenly pushed her plate away, her appetite vanishing. "Um, Tay and I--um, we didn't just have sex once. It, um, it happened twice..."
Isaac sat back in his chair and Winn waited on it. It was bad enough that he was angry before. But now...? "When?" He asked flatly.
"Christmas Eve. When he brought me my phone. It's--it's why he skipped town. Things got awkward fast and...I'm so sorry, Ike," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
He only looked at her. She could tell he was processing it. She braced herself for another outburst. Instead, he said, "Well, that--that actually explains, um, a lot in that following week... So, um...so you're sure? I mean, you--?"
"I'm sure. I'm due September 20. If you do the math..." She looked at him and then tears sprang to her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't meant to be so--"
"No. No, Winn, come here." He stood from his bar stool and pulled her from hers, wrapping her in his arms. "I'm not upset. I told you, I had time to think--"
"I'm so scared," she sobbed into his shoulder. "I don't know what to do. If I--if I tell him, he won't believe me. He won't believe it's his. And the two of you are having all these problems already--"
"You can't worry about me and Tay. You have more important things to worry about--"
She pulled away and looked at him. "I think I'm gonna leave--"
"No, stay here and talk to me about this."
She shook her head. "No. I mean, I think I'm leaving Tulsa. To go back home and be near my family."
"No." Isaac shook his head now. "No, you can't do that. You can't skip town and take his baby away."
"I mean, I don't want to--"
"Then don't. Winn, he--my brother loves you. He loves you so much and when he finds out about this baby? He's only gonna fall all over again. I promise."
"Why are you--? Why are you saying these things?"
"Because I'm finally coming to terms with some things. And I only want my brother to be happy. And I know he dreams of having a family. And I know how he feels about you. He WILL be happy about this."
"I'm so ashamed of myself, Ike. I--I pushed him away. I don't--I don't deserve him--"
"You have to tell him. He has to know."
"I know."
"You can't leave Tulsa."
"I can't promise that."
"What can I do?"
"What?"
"To help you. What can I do to help you?"
She looked at him, confused, as she wiped her eyes. "You're not--you're not mad?"
"I'm relieved it's not mine. I mean, no offense..."
"There's nothing--I mean, just--keep it to yourself? Don't say anything, let me--let me tell him. Okay? I'll tell him. I will."
"You have nothing to worry about."
"I hope you're right."
********************
Later that week, Winn made the call she dreaded making. When her mother answered, she took a deep breath. "Hey, Mama."
"Hi, sweetheart! How are you?"
"Um, I have some news, actually. And I hope you're sitting down."
"Should I be?" Her mother asked warily.
"Maybe. Um, Mama...I'm, um, I'm having a baby."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh my god. Are you mad? You sound mad. But I really need you--"
"I'm not mad, I'm--I'm processing it all. Um, does Isaac know?"
"Yes--"
"How does he feel about it?"
"Well, um, Mama--it's not his."
"Winifred..."
"It's Taylor's. And things have just grown SO complicated--"
"I'm aware. I'm no stranger to the tabloids." Her mother was silent for a moment before Winn heard the quiet sniffs. "So--so you're really having a baby?"
"Yeah."
"How far along are you? When's your due date?"
"September 20. I'm about a month in. Please don't be mad."
"Oh, sweetie. I'm not mad. I'm--I'm a little confused, but I'm happy. Are--are you happy?"
"Honestly? I'm kinda excited. I've been--I've been going it alone for the past couple of weeks and I already feel like this thing and I are partners in crime, you know? At first I was a little freaked out, but--but, yeah, I'm kinda happy about it."
"So you haven't told Taylor?"
"No."
"Oh, Winnie. I wish I could be there with you."
"Well, see, that's just it. I'm, um, I'm thinking about coming home."
"Do you think that's a good idea?"
"Well, I have a support system there--"
"But the baby has a father in Tulsa."
"Mom--"
"Sweetheart, I want you to come home. And if that's the decision you make, then you know I'll support you. But now you have to think about what's best for the baby. And don't you think it's best if the baby lives near its father?"
"A father it'll never see? When all he does is work and go out on the road?"
"Winnie. Is that fair?"
"I don't know."
"Do you not WANT Taylor to be the baby's father?"
"I'm just--I'm just trying to be realistic about it."
"Like I said, I'll support any decision you make. I just want you to make a sound one. Okay? And, um, Winnie? Do you, um, do you love him? Taylor, I mean."
"Yes."
"Then, sweetie, don't come home. Go live your dream. Stay there and start your family. Don't be afraid to talk to him. You're already a month in, you're gonna need his support."
"Mama, I'm scared," she whispered.
"I know. But you gotta understand, not all men are like...like the last one. Not all of them are dishonest and unreliable."
"I know."
"Everything happens for a reason, Winnie. There's a reason you love Taylor. And there's a reason that this baby ended up being his. Wouldn't you agree?"
"I--I want to..."
"I love you, sweetheart. And I'll be here for you, whatever you need. And--and I'm excited for you. I'm excited to have a new grandbaby. Oh, and your nephews...they'll just be beside themselves!"
"Yeah, as long as it's a boy," Winn chuckled.
Her mother laughed with her and they talked a little longer before she hung up the phone. Well, on the plus side, her mother was scrutinizing her much less now than she was at Christmas. Which was kind of ironic, really, but Winn didn't have time to dwell on it. What she dwelled on at the moment was her sudden incessant need to pee and how she'd procrastinated horribly on making a toilet paper run to the store.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taylor's court date in Arkansas had arrived. Isaac and Zac flew in with him to get it over with and they all prayed for no jail time and no probation, but they had a good attorney and the attorney was confident that neither would be the case.
It was always scary when fans went to great lengths to do their homework. And show their "support" in some of the most creative ways--if you wanted to call it that. However, the frustrating part of it was, nine times out of ten, none of them knew the whole story, so the "support" was based solely on speculation, mostly created and invented amongst themselves.
It was a little disturbing to read the online messages when scouring social media that wished good luck in court and things of that nature. Sure, they wanted good luck in court--but the truth of the matter was, Taylor fucked up fair and square. They shouldn't be rallying by his side, they should be shaking their fingers in their face. After all, that's what Isaac did. His brother did a stupid thing and he was disappointed in him and
he let him know it. This handful of fans--who had alarmingly camped out in front of the courthouse--was a completely different story.
The whole thing was just bizarre and a little warped.
Court in itself was quiet. In that tiny town in Arkansas, the courthouse was small and very lightly populated. They were glad to have had the courtroom to themselves and even more glad that the judge was able to have mercy on Taylor after hearing his story. It stung Isaac a little to hear it, even now, after knowing the truth about what happened the night he left town and even understanding his actions a little bit. The phone call while he was at dinner with Winn and her parents was a new one, though, and Taylor cited the resist in arrest as a simple case of catching him in the wrong mood at the wrong moment.
Their attorney issued some words about the band and Taylor's character and their contributions to local and international communities and vouched for both Taylor's and the band's images. By the time it was over with, the judge was lenient and slapped a hefty fine on Taylor, which he promised to pay immediately after leaving the courtroom.
By the time they left court, after only being in there for less than an hour, they were met by media they didn't expect. There wasn't much of it, but enough to alarm and annoy them. Isaac had to talk Zac down before he started anything and remind him that his own hot temper didn't need to land them BACK in this tiny Arkansas town and that the best thing they could do right now was just head to the airport and go home.
The plane ride back home, after a tense several hours at the airport, was quiet. Zac was pissed. Taylor was pissed. And Isaac only hoped that a lesson could be learned from this. If you ever find yourself doing something illegal, don't get caught. He wouldn't dare put it like that out loud, but he lived his life that way several days a week.
Actually, no. He didn't anymore. And for that, he was grateful. So while his two younger brothers brooded as they read books or plugged ear buds into their laptops, Isaac smiled and closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of his seat.
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Winn wanted to die. She wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. Five weeks into her pregnancy and life wasn't getting any easier. And it wasn't because of her body issues or the growing baby in her belly.
It was because, once again, her name popped up in the media. And this time, it was NOT received well.
Apparently Taylor had his court case in Arkansas recently and all the sleazy tabloid outlets had gotten their hands on a story. The most popular one was the way his arrest got tied into the fight on New Year's Eve. About how he racked up his charges on the side of the road due to pining for the woman that caused the big fight between the two brothers. The story had been completely romanticized, pitting Isaac against Taylor and labeling Winn as this generation's Yoko Ono. She was humiliated. And angry. And she knew she had nowhere to direct her anger because she knew there was nothing that either Isaac nor Taylor could do about the stories being written about them.
It was all the same as before. The same thing that got her a warning from her supervisors. Except the difference this time was, it only got worse. Fans got involved. They were angry and they targeted it at Winn. They held her solely responsible for getting Taylor arrested, for causing fights in the band and, ultimately, for taking their favorite brother away, whoever that may be. They targeted and blamed her for everything and when the hate mail actually started coming to her office, she knew there was a problem.
She had spoken to Isaac about it. He was aware of the situation. He was pissed off and he was disappointed and he was hurt and Winn understood that. But he couldn't stop it. And she knew that, too. But now, every day, Winn lived in fear of her livelihood and she found herself searching the job ads online back home in Abilene more often than not.
She should have expected her office visit on Friday morning, except that she didn't. She thought she'd had the fan problem contained in her office and her numbers were excellent for that time of the month, so she figured she had nothing to worry about. However, when her supervisor and the company VPO showed up in her office, she had that sinking feeling in her gut. And, again, it wasn't the baby.
Once again, they pulled her to the back. "Winnie, I think you know why we're here," the VPO said to her.
"We know it isn't your fault," her supervisor said. "We know you can't help it."
"But my bosses...they're not happy," the VPO said. "We're getting phone calls and mail all the way up to corporate from fans of these Hanson guys. It's borderlining harassment and we can't have that as a company. It's getting exceptionally bad when we're getting phone calls from your customers, concerned that the office might be closing down and wanting to know where they can pay their payments from now on. This is--this is getting out of hand."
Winn's eyes fell on the table. "I know. I'm sorry, I just--I don't know what to do about it. I didn't ask for this."
"I know," the VPO said, attempting to calm his voice. "I know. And--and you're a hell of an asset to this company. What you've done with this office is amazing. But like I said before, I have to do what my bosses tell me to do. I don't want to do it. But they're afraid that as long as you're with the company, First Class Finance will always pop up on conjunction with you as long as your name stays in the media. And we can't have the company associated with people that fight and get arrested and...and you know what we mean."
"This isn't fair," she whispered. "I can't lose my job, I--" She looked at her supervisor, helpless, knowing he knew what he knew. "You know I can't afford to lose my job."
"Neither one of us wanted to do this, Winnie," her supervisor said. "We fought really hard for you, I want you to know that."
"We're publicly traded, Winnie," the VPO said. "You know this. We have shareholders..."
"And what they say, goes," she repeated.
The VPO nodded solemnly. "We've prepared a generous severance package for you. All your paid holidays, vacation--"
"But it's not insurance," she said, her eyes tearing up and feeling the rage building inside her. She looked her supervisor square in his eyes. "You brought me all the way from Texas. Alone. With a mortgage. And now you're leaving me with no income...and no insurance..."
"Winnie, I'm sorry," her supervisor said, visibly swallowing a lump in his throat. "It's really nothing personal--"
Winn looked at the VPO. "Did you know that I'm pregnant?" She looked back at her supervisor. "Did you tell him I'm pregnant?"
The VPO's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I had no idea..."
"Yeah. I'm pregnant. And I'm alone. And now I have no job and no insurance. Take THAT to your shareholders. Depending on how I feel when I leave this office, I may or may not consult an attorney."
The VPO started to sputter. "Winnie, we don't--we don't want to burn any bridges here--"
"I didn't want to, either. I loved working for this company. The company's been very good to me, up until this moment. It's a shame it has to end like this. I'll, um, I'll go clean out my desk now."
As the shocked expressions washed over her now former staff's faces, Winn suppressed her rage with every fiber of her being. It took all she had not to completely go crazy on the two men that counted her drawer, accepted her office keys, and watched her throw what little bit she'd brought in into a cardboard box.
On her way out, her supervisor tried to talk reason into her. "Don't be surprised if you get a phone call--"
"No, I'll be surprised if I GET one. This company isn't what I thought it was. And that's a shame."
As if to add insult to injury, she caught Isaac walking into the front door of the studio across the street as she carried her box to her car. She could see his face. She could see the realization. But she couldn't deal with it right now, so she hurried to her car and pulled away before he could cross the street.
It didn't stop him from blowing up her phone, though. He called her as she was mere seconds down the street. "Tell me I didn't just see what I think I saw," he said.
"It wasn't voluntary, if that's what you're thinking."
"Winn--Winn, no..."
And then she burst into tears. "Ike, I don't know what I'm gonna do!"
Winn wasn't sure exactly what possessed her to not only answer Isaac's call, but to also accept his invite to dinner, but she did it anyway. And she hadn't really thought it through when she answered. Was it hormones? Was it emotional exhaustion? She agreed that they needed to talk. To be honest, she was surprised he even wanted to speak to her at all.
Wednesday night, when Isaac let her inside his apartment, it had been three weeks since she had laid eyes on Taylor and she was four weeks pregnant. The apartment smelled amazing and Winn's mouth watered.
Standing in Isaac's apartment, looking around, things felt different. She expected it to be awkward, except that, oddly, it wasn't. There was no mood lighting, there were no candles, there were no wine glasses or light jazz playing. It was bright and it was warm and it was inviting. Isaac didn't wear a suit to try to impress her. He milled around in jeans and a t-shirt and she couldn't even smell his aftershave. For the first time since she'd met him, she felt comfortable in his apartment.
He smiled at her as he took her coat and hung it on the nearby rack. She was glad she opted to wear a loose sweater. She hadn't gained much weight but she felt like her pregnancy was shining bright in blinking lights all over her body. "I'm glad you came," he said.
She smiled back at him. "Thank you for inviting me. It smells great in here, what are you making?"
He smiled again with a hint of a blush. "I've spent a little time lately Googling a few recipes and decided to actually try one. I may or may not have tricked you into being my guinea pig for a Mexican dish."
She rubbed her stomach as she heard it grumble. "Lucky for you, I'm starving."
"Good."
As they sat at the bar and ate, Isaac didn't sit as close to her as he normally did. He kept a safe distance and he didn't make eyes at her, he didn't flirt--he was like a completely different person now than she was used to.
After he'd put a decent-sized dent in his food, he finally said to her, "Look, uh, thank you again for coming over. I mean, if you turned me down, I would understand."
"I'm not mad at you. I was never mad at you. Well, let me rephrase that. I was never mad at you initially...until I was more or less threatened with my job..."
Isaac put his fork down and looked at her. "Oh, Winn..."
"I didn't LOSE my job. But the company doesn't look too kindly on their managers ending up in tabloid news associated with--with the fighting and--and Tay's arrest got roped in there and--"
"I am so sorry. I--I'm so ashamed of myself, Winn, I never meant for any of this to--I was angry. I'll admit it, I got angry and--and I hit him and I started it and I promise you, if I could take it all back, I would."
"I never meant to hurt you," she whispered, the lump forming in her throat. "I wasn't--I wasn't trying to string you along or lead you on or anything. And I meant the things I said to you, I just--you deserve so much better, Ike. You were so good to me and I--I couldn't be what you needed me to be..."
"I've had a lot of time to think. And I--I was--I don't know how things got as far as they did. I wasn't really...I dunno, going about things the right way? I, um, I liked you, I really--I really did but I think--I think I was just so desperate to feel something that I tried to--to rush...EVERYTHING. You know?"
Winn looked down at her plate, her stomach rumbling again. She glanced up at the hot sauce on the bar and, for a moment, her emotions took a backseat to the spicy heaven that filled her nostrils as she shook it out onto her food. She took a bite and she spoke with her mouth full. "You wanna know a secret? I kinda felt the same way. I really liked you, too, but I spent a lot of time just...just forcing it to happen. I care about you. That'll never change. But my other feelings, I can't--I can't help those. I want to, but I can't."
Isaac smirked and went back to his plate. "So, basically, we were both pretty fucked up."
"A disaster waiting to happen."
They were silent as they went back to their plates. Winn swore it tasted better now than it did before. "This is so good," she said. "I think you have something here. I'm happy to be your guinea pig anytime you want."
Isaac chuckled lightly. "Thank you, I'm glad you like it. So, uh, does that mean we're cool?"
"Yeah," Winn nodded, shoveling in another forkful. "Yeah, we're cool."
He put his fork down and he studied her for a moment as she tried to ignore his eyes on her. Finally, he said, "How far along are you, Winn?"
The blood drained from her face and she put her fork down, swallowing the bite she'd been chewing. "What?"
"You can't fool me. I grew up extremely familiar with pregnancy. And I'm also extremely familiar with you. You've put on a couple of pounds since I last saw you. Which is completely okay, except that you hate spicy food. And, yet, tonight, you've nearly drained my Tobasco bottle."
"I'll buy you more--"
"Don't change the subject."
Her eyes fell. She didn't think she'd actually get busted. "Four weeks," she said quietly. "Nearly."
She watched the shock wash over Isaac's face. She swore she could actually see him counting and her heart pounded. Then his eyes met hers. "It's my baby..."
She looked at him and she shook her head with barely any movement at all. He looked back at her confused. "Uh, yes, it is. If you're four weeks along, then it's my baby..."
Winn suddenly pushed her plate away, her appetite vanishing. "Um, Tay and I--um, we didn't just have sex once. It, um, it happened twice..."
Isaac sat back in his chair and Winn waited on it. It was bad enough that he was angry before. But now...? "When?" He asked flatly.
"Christmas Eve. When he brought me my phone. It's--it's why he skipped town. Things got awkward fast and...I'm so sorry, Ike," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
He only looked at her. She could tell he was processing it. She braced herself for another outburst. Instead, he said, "Well, that--that actually explains, um, a lot in that following week... So, um...so you're sure? I mean, you--?"
"I'm sure. I'm due September 20. If you do the math..." She looked at him and then tears sprang to her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't meant to be so--"
"No. No, Winn, come here." He stood from his bar stool and pulled her from hers, wrapping her in his arms. "I'm not upset. I told you, I had time to think--"
"I'm so scared," she sobbed into his shoulder. "I don't know what to do. If I--if I tell him, he won't believe me. He won't believe it's his. And the two of you are having all these problems already--"
"You can't worry about me and Tay. You have more important things to worry about--"
She pulled away and looked at him. "I think I'm gonna leave--"
"No, stay here and talk to me about this."
She shook her head. "No. I mean, I think I'm leaving Tulsa. To go back home and be near my family."
"No." Isaac shook his head now. "No, you can't do that. You can't skip town and take his baby away."
"I mean, I don't want to--"
"Then don't. Winn, he--my brother loves you. He loves you so much and when he finds out about this baby? He's only gonna fall all over again. I promise."
"Why are you--? Why are you saying these things?"
"Because I'm finally coming to terms with some things. And I only want my brother to be happy. And I know he dreams of having a family. And I know how he feels about you. He WILL be happy about this."
"I'm so ashamed of myself, Ike. I--I pushed him away. I don't--I don't deserve him--"
"You have to tell him. He has to know."
"I know."
"You can't leave Tulsa."
"I can't promise that."
"What can I do?"
"What?"
"To help you. What can I do to help you?"
She looked at him, confused, as she wiped her eyes. "You're not--you're not mad?"
"I'm relieved it's not mine. I mean, no offense..."
"There's nothing--I mean, just--keep it to yourself? Don't say anything, let me--let me tell him. Okay? I'll tell him. I will."
"You have nothing to worry about."
"I hope you're right."
********************
Later that week, Winn made the call she dreaded making. When her mother answered, she took a deep breath. "Hey, Mama."
"Hi, sweetheart! How are you?"
"Um, I have some news, actually. And I hope you're sitting down."
"Should I be?" Her mother asked warily.
"Maybe. Um, Mama...I'm, um, I'm having a baby."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh my god. Are you mad? You sound mad. But I really need you--"
"I'm not mad, I'm--I'm processing it all. Um, does Isaac know?"
"Yes--"
"How does he feel about it?"
"Well, um, Mama--it's not his."
"Winifred..."
"It's Taylor's. And things have just grown SO complicated--"
"I'm aware. I'm no stranger to the tabloids." Her mother was silent for a moment before Winn heard the quiet sniffs. "So--so you're really having a baby?"
"Yeah."
"How far along are you? When's your due date?"
"September 20. I'm about a month in. Please don't be mad."
"Oh, sweetie. I'm not mad. I'm--I'm a little confused, but I'm happy. Are--are you happy?"
"Honestly? I'm kinda excited. I've been--I've been going it alone for the past couple of weeks and I already feel like this thing and I are partners in crime, you know? At first I was a little freaked out, but--but, yeah, I'm kinda happy about it."
"So you haven't told Taylor?"
"No."
"Oh, Winnie. I wish I could be there with you."
"Well, see, that's just it. I'm, um, I'm thinking about coming home."
"Do you think that's a good idea?"
"Well, I have a support system there--"
"But the baby has a father in Tulsa."
"Mom--"
"Sweetheart, I want you to come home. And if that's the decision you make, then you know I'll support you. But now you have to think about what's best for the baby. And don't you think it's best if the baby lives near its father?"
"A father it'll never see? When all he does is work and go out on the road?"
"Winnie. Is that fair?"
"I don't know."
"Do you not WANT Taylor to be the baby's father?"
"I'm just--I'm just trying to be realistic about it."
"Like I said, I'll support any decision you make. I just want you to make a sound one. Okay? And, um, Winnie? Do you, um, do you love him? Taylor, I mean."
"Yes."
"Then, sweetie, don't come home. Go live your dream. Stay there and start your family. Don't be afraid to talk to him. You're already a month in, you're gonna need his support."
"Mama, I'm scared," she whispered.
"I know. But you gotta understand, not all men are like...like the last one. Not all of them are dishonest and unreliable."
"I know."
"Everything happens for a reason, Winnie. There's a reason you love Taylor. And there's a reason that this baby ended up being his. Wouldn't you agree?"
"I--I want to..."
"I love you, sweetheart. And I'll be here for you, whatever you need. And--and I'm excited for you. I'm excited to have a new grandbaby. Oh, and your nephews...they'll just be beside themselves!"
"Yeah, as long as it's a boy," Winn chuckled.
Her mother laughed with her and they talked a little longer before she hung up the phone. Well, on the plus side, her mother was scrutinizing her much less now than she was at Christmas. Which was kind of ironic, really, but Winn didn't have time to dwell on it. What she dwelled on at the moment was her sudden incessant need to pee and how she'd procrastinated horribly on making a toilet paper run to the store.
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Taylor's court date in Arkansas had arrived. Isaac and Zac flew in with him to get it over with and they all prayed for no jail time and no probation, but they had a good attorney and the attorney was confident that neither would be the case.
It was always scary when fans went to great lengths to do their homework. And show their "support" in some of the most creative ways--if you wanted to call it that. However, the frustrating part of it was, nine times out of ten, none of them knew the whole story, so the "support" was based solely on speculation, mostly created and invented amongst themselves.
It was a little disturbing to read the online messages when scouring social media that wished good luck in court and things of that nature. Sure, they wanted good luck in court--but the truth of the matter was, Taylor fucked up fair and square. They shouldn't be rallying by his side, they should be shaking their fingers in their face. After all, that's what Isaac did. His brother did a stupid thing and he was disappointed in him and
he let him know it. This handful of fans--who had alarmingly camped out in front of the courthouse--was a completely different story.
The whole thing was just bizarre and a little warped.
Court in itself was quiet. In that tiny town in Arkansas, the courthouse was small and very lightly populated. They were glad to have had the courtroom to themselves and even more glad that the judge was able to have mercy on Taylor after hearing his story. It stung Isaac a little to hear it, even now, after knowing the truth about what happened the night he left town and even understanding his actions a little bit. The phone call while he was at dinner with Winn and her parents was a new one, though, and Taylor cited the resist in arrest as a simple case of catching him in the wrong mood at the wrong moment.
Their attorney issued some words about the band and Taylor's character and their contributions to local and international communities and vouched for both Taylor's and the band's images. By the time it was over with, the judge was lenient and slapped a hefty fine on Taylor, which he promised to pay immediately after leaving the courtroom.
By the time they left court, after only being in there for less than an hour, they were met by media they didn't expect. There wasn't much of it, but enough to alarm and annoy them. Isaac had to talk Zac down before he started anything and remind him that his own hot temper didn't need to land them BACK in this tiny Arkansas town and that the best thing they could do right now was just head to the airport and go home.
The plane ride back home, after a tense several hours at the airport, was quiet. Zac was pissed. Taylor was pissed. And Isaac only hoped that a lesson could be learned from this. If you ever find yourself doing something illegal, don't get caught. He wouldn't dare put it like that out loud, but he lived his life that way several days a week.
Actually, no. He didn't anymore. And for that, he was grateful. So while his two younger brothers brooded as they read books or plugged ear buds into their laptops, Isaac smiled and closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of his seat.
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Winn wanted to die. She wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. Five weeks into her pregnancy and life wasn't getting any easier. And it wasn't because of her body issues or the growing baby in her belly.
It was because, once again, her name popped up in the media. And this time, it was NOT received well.
Apparently Taylor had his court case in Arkansas recently and all the sleazy tabloid outlets had gotten their hands on a story. The most popular one was the way his arrest got tied into the fight on New Year's Eve. About how he racked up his charges on the side of the road due to pining for the woman that caused the big fight between the two brothers. The story had been completely romanticized, pitting Isaac against Taylor and labeling Winn as this generation's Yoko Ono. She was humiliated. And angry. And she knew she had nowhere to direct her anger because she knew there was nothing that either Isaac nor Taylor could do about the stories being written about them.
It was all the same as before. The same thing that got her a warning from her supervisors. Except the difference this time was, it only got worse. Fans got involved. They were angry and they targeted it at Winn. They held her solely responsible for getting Taylor arrested, for causing fights in the band and, ultimately, for taking their favorite brother away, whoever that may be. They targeted and blamed her for everything and when the hate mail actually started coming to her office, she knew there was a problem.
She had spoken to Isaac about it. He was aware of the situation. He was pissed off and he was disappointed and he was hurt and Winn understood that. But he couldn't stop it. And she knew that, too. But now, every day, Winn lived in fear of her livelihood and she found herself searching the job ads online back home in Abilene more often than not.
She should have expected her office visit on Friday morning, except that she didn't. She thought she'd had the fan problem contained in her office and her numbers were excellent for that time of the month, so she figured she had nothing to worry about. However, when her supervisor and the company VPO showed up in her office, she had that sinking feeling in her gut. And, again, it wasn't the baby.
Once again, they pulled her to the back. "Winnie, I think you know why we're here," the VPO said to her.
"We know it isn't your fault," her supervisor said. "We know you can't help it."
"But my bosses...they're not happy," the VPO said. "We're getting phone calls and mail all the way up to corporate from fans of these Hanson guys. It's borderlining harassment and we can't have that as a company. It's getting exceptionally bad when we're getting phone calls from your customers, concerned that the office might be closing down and wanting to know where they can pay their payments from now on. This is--this is getting out of hand."
Winn's eyes fell on the table. "I know. I'm sorry, I just--I don't know what to do about it. I didn't ask for this."
"I know," the VPO said, attempting to calm his voice. "I know. And--and you're a hell of an asset to this company. What you've done with this office is amazing. But like I said before, I have to do what my bosses tell me to do. I don't want to do it. But they're afraid that as long as you're with the company, First Class Finance will always pop up on conjunction with you as long as your name stays in the media. And we can't have the company associated with people that fight and get arrested and...and you know what we mean."
"This isn't fair," she whispered. "I can't lose my job, I--" She looked at her supervisor, helpless, knowing he knew what he knew. "You know I can't afford to lose my job."
"Neither one of us wanted to do this, Winnie," her supervisor said. "We fought really hard for you, I want you to know that."
"We're publicly traded, Winnie," the VPO said. "You know this. We have shareholders..."
"And what they say, goes," she repeated.
The VPO nodded solemnly. "We've prepared a generous severance package for you. All your paid holidays, vacation--"
"But it's not insurance," she said, her eyes tearing up and feeling the rage building inside her. She looked her supervisor square in his eyes. "You brought me all the way from Texas. Alone. With a mortgage. And now you're leaving me with no income...and no insurance..."
"Winnie, I'm sorry," her supervisor said, visibly swallowing a lump in his throat. "It's really nothing personal--"
Winn looked at the VPO. "Did you know that I'm pregnant?" She looked back at her supervisor. "Did you tell him I'm pregnant?"
The VPO's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I had no idea..."
"Yeah. I'm pregnant. And I'm alone. And now I have no job and no insurance. Take THAT to your shareholders. Depending on how I feel when I leave this office, I may or may not consult an attorney."
The VPO started to sputter. "Winnie, we don't--we don't want to burn any bridges here--"
"I didn't want to, either. I loved working for this company. The company's been very good to me, up until this moment. It's a shame it has to end like this. I'll, um, I'll go clean out my desk now."
As the shocked expressions washed over her now former staff's faces, Winn suppressed her rage with every fiber of her being. It took all she had not to completely go crazy on the two men that counted her drawer, accepted her office keys, and watched her throw what little bit she'd brought in into a cardboard box.
On her way out, her supervisor tried to talk reason into her. "Don't be surprised if you get a phone call--"
"No, I'll be surprised if I GET one. This company isn't what I thought it was. And that's a shame."
As if to add insult to injury, she caught Isaac walking into the front door of the studio across the street as she carried her box to her car. She could see his face. She could see the realization. But she couldn't deal with it right now, so she hurried to her car and pulled away before he could cross the street.
It didn't stop him from blowing up her phone, though. He called her as she was mere seconds down the street. "Tell me I didn't just see what I think I saw," he said.
"It wasn't voluntary, if that's what you're thinking."
"Winn--Winn, no..."
And then she burst into tears. "Ike, I don't know what I'm gonna do!"