THE HOMESTAR PRO
Winn had a hard time sleeping that night. She lay awake in bed and thought about Isaac for hours. She knew it had to have been hours. She could still hear his voice whispering to her to let him kiss her. She could feel his lips and the way he held her close to him. Maybe it was for the best that he decided to go home instead of stay. Because she knew she would have invited him to bed. Her entire body knew it.
When he doorbell rang, she thought she was dreaming. She woke up in her dark bedroom and blinked her eyes sleepily, wondering who in the hell was at her door at this hour of the night? Then she spied the daylight through a small sliver in her curtains and remembered that it was always dark in her bedroom. She hung thick, dark drapes over her windows because she hated waking up to daylight.
The doorbell rang again and this time she was annoyed. She'd hardly had a few hours of sleep and now somebody wanted to interrupt it. Jehovah's Witnesses didn't visit on Sunday mornings, she imagined. But she figured they wouldn't go away, so she stumbled out of bed,
pulled on a pair of socks so that her cold, hardwood floor wouldn't shock her feet, and she stumbled sleepily through the house in her t-shirt and sweatpants.
She opened the door and her eyes widened. If she wasn't still half-asleep, she would have been more mortified. There stood Taylor in tight jeans and a brown leather jacket, a scarf tied around his neck. "Um, Taylor?"
He looked her over and tried to hide a smile. "I figured based on the time you texted me yesterday, this would be a good time to start getting a few shots. But, uh, maybe I imposed a little..."
"What time is it?"
"You probably don't want to know. Look, uh, I can come back, it's no problem..."
"No," she said as she stepped aside. "No, it's fine. Come in, it's cold out there." As he stepped in the house, she closed the door behind him. "I'm sorry I'm not dressed--"
"No. I showed up early, I should have taken the time into consideration. I'm sorry I woke you."
"It's okay," she said. "I needed to get up anyway. Look, um, let me put some coffee on, okay? I'll just go and get ready and--can I get you anything while you wait? Have you eaten? I have stuff in the cabinets--"
"It's okay," he said, smiling at her. "Actually, if you don't mind, I was hoping to just head out there and start snapping a few pictures. I can do that while you...you know, do what you gotta do."
She nodded. "Um, okay. That's cool. I'll still put coffee on, though. The sliding glass is unlocked, you can just step right outside the door."
As she watched Taylor disappear out the door, she started the coffee pot and headed back to her bedroom. Why wasn't she more embarrassed by this? He had just seen her gross and disheveled and in her ratty bed clothes...she should have been mortified. She should have wanted to crawl under a rock. But she didn't feel any of those things. She was perfectly comfortable with it. The truth was, she couldn't care less if he saw her like this or not. She thought about that for a moment. Maybe this was it. Maybe she wasn't interested in him as more than friends like she thought she had once been. And she was pretty sure that after last night, she definitely wasn't.
She stopped in the doorway of her bedroom and looked around the dark room, her eyes landing on her bed as it invited her to bury herself in the soft, comfy comforter. The room was already so dark and tempting. And Taylor was outside taking pictures, so it wasn't like he wasn't occupied. Maybe...maybe just a minute to lay down while the shower water warmed up wouldn't hurt...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At first, Taylor had been surprised by Winn's appearance. Then he decided he shouldn't have been as he was rudely reminded of why she probably looked that way to begin with. He didn't want the sordid details of her dinner date with Ike the previous night, but he'd imagined that he'd kept her out late. To be honest, he felt awkward showing up at her house the morning right after her date with his brother. However, he was nearing the scary edge where he was willing to do nearly anything she asked him to do. He knew he needed to keep himself in check, and he thoroughly intended to try.
She hadn't been kidding about her view. While she went and put herself together, he helped himself to her back...lake, he guessed. Wasn't really anything there to call a yard. Right off the deck, it sloped off down a slight dusty, leafy embankment and right into the water. She had a little shoreline down there, and a small pier. Nothing much. But based on what he could see from where he was standing, that pier was in need of some serious repair. He made a mental note of that as he lifted his camera, zoomed in, and snapped a few pictures of it.
After about ten minutes or so, he'd decided he'd snapped quick shots of what he could snap for the time being. He wanted to do the more serious stuff when she was present. Plus, the morning chill was starting to numb his face a little. He took a moment to look back up at the house. He wasn't sure what he expected her to live in. He pictured a townhouse. A two-story apartment in an upscale complex. Yeah. That's what he expected. A small lake house with virtually no grass that sat in the middle of the woods--that was the last thing he expected. But he envied her. He wished he'd found this house himself instead of the one he was living in. He had neighbors. He didn't like having neighbors. But Winn didn't
seem to have any. He spotted houses in the woods a little ways away from her on either side, but neither one of them close enough to form bonds or friendships or any other neighborly connections.
He stepped back into her house, expecting to at least hear her milling about somewhere, but the house was silent. The aroma of fresh coffee filled the air, but that was about the only activity that could be detected. He stood there and looked around for a moment. He walked into the kitchen, through the doorway of the open floor plan and found nothing.
Glancing at the open door on the other side of the kitchen, he was intrigued by what he detected was the corner of a piece of furniture in the dark room. Slowly he walked to the doorway and he peeked around, his heart melting at the sight. He leaned his shoulder against the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest. "Winn," he said gently as she slept, curled up in her bed. When she didn't stir, he said a little louder, "Winn."
At the second sound of her name, she let in a breath and murmured as she turned over. "Oh my god," she said, her voice groggy. "I'm sorry. I was only laying down for a minute while the shower warmed up."
He smiled, amused. "I don't hear any water running."
"Huh?"
She looked toward her bathroom and collapsed back on the bed. "Shit. I guess I didn't make it that far."
"Late night, huh?"
"I guess you could say that."
"Look, I should--we should probably do this another time..."
"No," she said, suddenly. "No. I don't--I never have company. I guess I've been a bad hostess already, but I want you to stay. I invited you here..." She glanced on the table beside her and then she patted the bed. "Come here," she said. "I want to show you something."
His eyes widened at her invitation. Did she mean, like, ON the bed? While she was still in it? Like, beside her? The shock overwhelmed him.
She smiled at him. "Well, I mean, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. Don't be afraid of me."
That was the problem. He WAS afraid of her.
But he gave in because, once again, she asked him to do something and he was powerless to tell her no. So, he walked into the dark room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Lay down," she said to him. When he hesitated, she came back with, "It works the best if you're laying down."
He swallowed hard and slowly did as she said, placing himself as far away from her on the bed as possible.
"Take off your shoes," she commanded. "You've been outside in the dirt, I don't want that all in my bed."
Uncomfortably, he kicked off his shoes and lay himself back down on his back, the tension of his body nearly physically harming him. Boldly, he turned his head to look at her, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkened room and he watched her reach with both hands for her end table, retrieve a large object, and then snuggle herself back down in her bed. Swiftly, with one arm, she covered herself with the covers and lifted the blanket to throw it over him, as well, when she stopped. "Take your coat off," she said. "You can stay awhile, it's only me. Make yourself at home."
He had never been more freaked out in his life. This was wrong. A tease. She invited him into her bed, telling him to take off articles of clothing...it would have been so, so incredibly easy to just roll over and take her right there. Their positioning and atmosphere was a complete recipe for it. He could just--make her his. Right there, he could just take her and claim her for his own, but--unfortunately, he had a feeling his
older brother already beat him to the punch. What else was new?
Winn interrupted his thoughts when she started to speak. "So, remember when I told you I was kind of a nerd?"
"Um, I don't think you ever said that..."
"When we were talking about scrapbooking? Because my being a nerd is kind of why you're here?"
"Sure, I guess. I mean, I don't think it's nerdy..."
"Well, anyway, I'm about to show you the extent of my nerd-dom. Well, maybe it's not the extent of it, but it's up there." She looked over at him and he could see her smiling at him. "When I was little, I had this old movie projector toy that was passed down to me. It was way older than me, maybe from the sixties? Used to belong to one of my parents. Anyway, I loved that thing, it was my favorite toy. As I grew up, I always had some kind of projection thing through the years. When I graduated high school and went off to college, my dad bought me this. It's my most prized possession."
Taylor was loving this. No more was he nervous about the position he found himself in. Instead, he was lost in her words, overjoyed and thrilled that she was sharing this information with him. This was what he wanted. He knew Isaac and he knew he was all about the physical stuff and everything that was on the surface. But not Taylor. He thrived on what was inside, on the feelings and dreams and experiences. The outside was merely secondary.
"This is called a Homestar PRO Home Planetarium." She turned on the spherical device that rested on her stomach and an entire sky full of stars illuminated her ceiling. He wasn't sure what she found nerdy about this. He thought the idea of having your own planetarium was actually pretty cool.
So he told her so. "I don't find this nerdy. I like how you have your own planetarium."
"I was always kinda into stars and outer space and stuff like that. My dad used to take me out in the yard at night and point out planets to me and help me trace constellations. It was kind of our thing."
"That's really nice," Taylor said quietly.
"Yeah," she agreed. "Being so far away from home gets difficult sometimes. I get homesick. So sometimes, when I have trouble falling asleep, I just turn this thing on and I trace constellations until I get drowsy. Makes me feel connected." She paused as she took a deep breath. "Anyway, this thing has everything. Constellations, planets...and I have a disc that will show me a full moon. That one's pretty cool. Looks great on the wall."
"I imagine it does," he said. "This is really cool. I like it. I mean, when you're not using it to fall asleep, I bet it could keep you pretty busy."
She turned and looked at him. "You really think it's cool?"
"Well, yeah. I'm not gonna say something just to make you feel better. And besides, maybe I'm a closet science fan, too."
She scoffed. "Closet?"
"I'm into this kind of thing. It's not something a lot of people know, but yeah. I like this. It's cool."
She smiled at him. "Guess what else it can do?" She flipped a switch and looked back up. "Watch. It has shooting stars, too."
Taylor smiled up at the ceiling. It was a neat little gadget she had. "And you said that's called a what?"
"A Homestar PRO Home Planetarium."
"Where would I be able to get one of these?"
"You really want one of your own?"
"Yeah. It's neat, I like it."
"I'm sure you could order it. I don't know where my dad got it."
"I'll look into it."
They looked up at the ceiling in silence for a moment, watching the fake shooting stars when she said, "I make wishes on these. I mean, when I feel like I need something granted. I know they're fake--and I don't really believe wish granting is real or anything--but the idea is nice. It's comforting sometimes."
He rolled over on his side and propped his head on his hand as his elbow buried itself in the pillow below him. "What do you wish for?"
She giggled. "Well if I told you, they wouldn't come true."
"I mean, not specifically. What types of things do you wish for?"
She looked at him for a moment before she took a breath and looked back up at the ceiling. "I make a lot of wishes for work lately. I wish for a good day. I wish for delinquency--or rather, I wish we would just move some delinquent accounts--"
"Do you ever wish you didn't take the job?"
"Um--sometimes...I mean, that's not really the kind of wish you make on a falling star. You make wishes that could come true."
"If you made a wish right now that could come true, what would it be?"
She fell silent. Normally he would probably feel bad for prying so much but, the truth was, he was growing more and more addicted to everything she was saying. He hung on every word. He only wanted to know more and more.
"I wish I wasn't so awkward," she finally said quietly.
"You're not awkward," he shot out, matter-of-factly. "Try again."
"Well these wishes aren't for YOU, they're for me."
"Touche. Why do you think you're awkward?"
"Because I am. I invited you here to takes pictures of trees. And then I went back to sleep on you. And now we're sitting here looking at a fake planetarium that middle schoolers generally only find joy in. If you don't find any part of that awkward, then you're as big a freak as me."
"Maybe I am."
"Yeah, right," she scoffed.
"You don't know. Maybe I am. Maybe I like planetariums and trees and lakes. Maybe I like the cold weather. Maybe I like my coffee heated only to a particular degree and no cooler or MAYBE...maybe I like to sit in my living room alone, eating sugary cereal out of a mixing bowl while watching old cartoons from our generation that I've burned in my spare time. Maybe that's what my Saturday mornings consist of from time to time."
Winn laughed and this made Taylor smile. "Are you serious? Like, really serious?"
"Absolutely. When Halloween comes around, I lose my mind because that means Frankenberry is on the shelves and I buy, like, ten boxes. Can't get enough of the stuff."
"I like Lucky Charms. Or Froot Loops with marshmallows. Or anything that has marshmallows, really."
"We should plan a breakfast date sometime."
"You got old GI Joe?"
"Of course I do. Knowing is half the battle."
Winn laughed again. "Deal. Holy crap, this is awesome."
Taylor laughed along with her. "I like you, Winn." Then he caught himself and covered quickly. "I mean, I like that you like this stuff. It's not awkward to me. As long as you're around me, you're not awkward. I promise."
She looked over at him. "Thank you. I appreciate that."
****************
An hour later, Taylor and Winn were sitting out on her deck, having coffee. She apparently had no qualms living her life as normal while he was there. She sat there, wrapped up in her blanket as she apparently normally did, and gripped her cup with both hands.
"What are you gonna do when summer gets here?" He joked with her.
"Maybe I'll figure out how to make iced coffee. And I'll likely be sitting ON the blanket instead of IN it. And then I'll be spending my weekends right there on that little pier there."
"That pier needs some work before you do anything on it. Have you actually been down there?"
She sighed. "I know. I also have to replace my walkway out front, too. This place was falling apart when I bought it."
"So why'd you buy it?"
"Are you kidding? Look where I live. And it was a foreclosure so the price was excellent. I'll just--I'll do the necessary work that needs to be done, it's not too bad. My dad said he would work on them when he came to visit."
"Well don't make your dad work when he's making a six hour trip to come spend time with you. Why don't you, uh, why don't you let me take a crack at that pier?"
She looked over at him, her eyes wide. "What?"
He shrugged nervously as he sipped his coffee. "Yeah. I mean, why not? Just needs a few boards replaced...maybe all the boards...it wouldn't be that hard."
"Tay, I can't--I can't ask you to do that--"
"You didn't ask me. I volunteered."
"Well--um--let's just...we'll see when the weather warms up."
"Offer will still be on the table."
"I won't forget."
"I won't let you."
"Do you fish?"
"Not this time of the year, they're not biting."
She smiled a knowing smile over at him and sipped her coffee as they looked out at the lake again. Could she feel it? Could she feel it like he could? How was she not realizing that they were virtually the same person? How did she not see that they were--they were soul mates?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"No. I asked you here to take pictures of the landscape around here, not of me," Winn said to Taylor as he pointed his camera at her as they stood amongst the trees below her deck.
"Have you seen your hair? It's not about you, it's about your hair. Just--pretend like I'm not here."
She scoffed a laugh. "Are you using me for my hair?'
"Right now? Yes. Just look at the water and pretend I'm not here."
Winn couldn't stop laughing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a horrible subject, I don't do things like this well. I don't--I don't act or pose..."
"But you look at water."
"Well, yeah, but--"
"So just look at the water. You're making this harder than it has to be."
"You're pointing a camera in my face!"
"Winn. Come on." He was beginning to sound frustrated. "Your hair is gorgeous against these colors out here and I just want to take a picture. Just look at the water."
Somewhere between his words and his tone Winn became a willing participant. Perhaps a little too willing. A couple of simple snapshots turned into a few smiles and a few poses. He even obliged himself in a selfie of the two of them. Somehow he had convinced her to participate in one of the things she hated doing the most and she actually had fun doing it. This was the most time she'd spent with Taylor since she met him and she was thoroughly enjoying herself. There was nothing awkward there. No tension, no over-thinking. She was allowed to be herself and she didn't feel the pressure of judgment.
When darkness fell, early as it did in the colder months, they realized that Taylor had been at her house all day long. It wasn't intentional and she certainly didn't mind it. She worried, however, that she'd kept him from whatever else he could have been doing that day. "Don't worry. It's really okay," he told her. "This is the first full day I've had off in a really long time. I've really enjoyed it."
"I have, too," she said. "Um, you know, we might as well just finish the night off and have dinner. No sense in you leaving here and the both of us eating alone, right?"
Taylor smiled and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I just--I don't want to intrude..."
"I invited you. You're not intruding. But, uh, I've learned the hard way that it's hard to get delivery out here, so..."
He winked at her. "I can whip up something from anything. Just let me have at your kitchen."
She couldn't help but smile. "Be my guest."
They ended up throwing together a random pasta dish that actually tasted really good. They took their picnic onto the living room floor where she dragged out the Homestar and projected it onto the ceiling as they ate. They laughed and they talked and they picked out fake constellations and made up ridiculous wishes for the fake shooting stars. Winn was having an absolute blast.
By the time Taylor left her house, it was nearly nine o'clock. She couldn't believe he'd literally been at her house from practically sun up to sun down. It was the best day she'd had in a long, long time. She realized how long it had been since she'd had a friend like that and she had never felt more grateful for someone in her entire life. The last wish she made, on the fake shooting star, was for Taylor to have a safe trip home.
As she settled herself in the bed, her eyes widened when she spied her phone on her end table. How had she forgotten its existence all day? Her heart pounded as she turned the screen on and her heart sank. Oh, no. How could she have forgotten that Isaac said he would call her? Furthermore, how had he not crossed her mind once during the entire day?
He had called her twice and texted her three times. Oh, no. Oh, god. What was she possibly going to say to him? Had she blown it with him?
Winn had a hard time sleeping that night. She lay awake in bed and thought about Isaac for hours. She knew it had to have been hours. She could still hear his voice whispering to her to let him kiss her. She could feel his lips and the way he held her close to him. Maybe it was for the best that he decided to go home instead of stay. Because she knew she would have invited him to bed. Her entire body knew it.
When he doorbell rang, she thought she was dreaming. She woke up in her dark bedroom and blinked her eyes sleepily, wondering who in the hell was at her door at this hour of the night? Then she spied the daylight through a small sliver in her curtains and remembered that it was always dark in her bedroom. She hung thick, dark drapes over her windows because she hated waking up to daylight.
The doorbell rang again and this time she was annoyed. She'd hardly had a few hours of sleep and now somebody wanted to interrupt it. Jehovah's Witnesses didn't visit on Sunday mornings, she imagined. But she figured they wouldn't go away, so she stumbled out of bed,
pulled on a pair of socks so that her cold, hardwood floor wouldn't shock her feet, and she stumbled sleepily through the house in her t-shirt and sweatpants.
She opened the door and her eyes widened. If she wasn't still half-asleep, she would have been more mortified. There stood Taylor in tight jeans and a brown leather jacket, a scarf tied around his neck. "Um, Taylor?"
He looked her over and tried to hide a smile. "I figured based on the time you texted me yesterday, this would be a good time to start getting a few shots. But, uh, maybe I imposed a little..."
"What time is it?"
"You probably don't want to know. Look, uh, I can come back, it's no problem..."
"No," she said as she stepped aside. "No, it's fine. Come in, it's cold out there." As he stepped in the house, she closed the door behind him. "I'm sorry I'm not dressed--"
"No. I showed up early, I should have taken the time into consideration. I'm sorry I woke you."
"It's okay," she said. "I needed to get up anyway. Look, um, let me put some coffee on, okay? I'll just go and get ready and--can I get you anything while you wait? Have you eaten? I have stuff in the cabinets--"
"It's okay," he said, smiling at her. "Actually, if you don't mind, I was hoping to just head out there and start snapping a few pictures. I can do that while you...you know, do what you gotta do."
She nodded. "Um, okay. That's cool. I'll still put coffee on, though. The sliding glass is unlocked, you can just step right outside the door."
As she watched Taylor disappear out the door, she started the coffee pot and headed back to her bedroom. Why wasn't she more embarrassed by this? He had just seen her gross and disheveled and in her ratty bed clothes...she should have been mortified. She should have wanted to crawl under a rock. But she didn't feel any of those things. She was perfectly comfortable with it. The truth was, she couldn't care less if he saw her like this or not. She thought about that for a moment. Maybe this was it. Maybe she wasn't interested in him as more than friends like she thought she had once been. And she was pretty sure that after last night, she definitely wasn't.
She stopped in the doorway of her bedroom and looked around the dark room, her eyes landing on her bed as it invited her to bury herself in the soft, comfy comforter. The room was already so dark and tempting. And Taylor was outside taking pictures, so it wasn't like he wasn't occupied. Maybe...maybe just a minute to lay down while the shower water warmed up wouldn't hurt...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At first, Taylor had been surprised by Winn's appearance. Then he decided he shouldn't have been as he was rudely reminded of why she probably looked that way to begin with. He didn't want the sordid details of her dinner date with Ike the previous night, but he'd imagined that he'd kept her out late. To be honest, he felt awkward showing up at her house the morning right after her date with his brother. However, he was nearing the scary edge where he was willing to do nearly anything she asked him to do. He knew he needed to keep himself in check, and he thoroughly intended to try.
She hadn't been kidding about her view. While she went and put herself together, he helped himself to her back...lake, he guessed. Wasn't really anything there to call a yard. Right off the deck, it sloped off down a slight dusty, leafy embankment and right into the water. She had a little shoreline down there, and a small pier. Nothing much. But based on what he could see from where he was standing, that pier was in need of some serious repair. He made a mental note of that as he lifted his camera, zoomed in, and snapped a few pictures of it.
After about ten minutes or so, he'd decided he'd snapped quick shots of what he could snap for the time being. He wanted to do the more serious stuff when she was present. Plus, the morning chill was starting to numb his face a little. He took a moment to look back up at the house. He wasn't sure what he expected her to live in. He pictured a townhouse. A two-story apartment in an upscale complex. Yeah. That's what he expected. A small lake house with virtually no grass that sat in the middle of the woods--that was the last thing he expected. But he envied her. He wished he'd found this house himself instead of the one he was living in. He had neighbors. He didn't like having neighbors. But Winn didn't
seem to have any. He spotted houses in the woods a little ways away from her on either side, but neither one of them close enough to form bonds or friendships or any other neighborly connections.
He stepped back into her house, expecting to at least hear her milling about somewhere, but the house was silent. The aroma of fresh coffee filled the air, but that was about the only activity that could be detected. He stood there and looked around for a moment. He walked into the kitchen, through the doorway of the open floor plan and found nothing.
Glancing at the open door on the other side of the kitchen, he was intrigued by what he detected was the corner of a piece of furniture in the dark room. Slowly he walked to the doorway and he peeked around, his heart melting at the sight. He leaned his shoulder against the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest. "Winn," he said gently as she slept, curled up in her bed. When she didn't stir, he said a little louder, "Winn."
At the second sound of her name, she let in a breath and murmured as she turned over. "Oh my god," she said, her voice groggy. "I'm sorry. I was only laying down for a minute while the shower warmed up."
He smiled, amused. "I don't hear any water running."
"Huh?"
She looked toward her bathroom and collapsed back on the bed. "Shit. I guess I didn't make it that far."
"Late night, huh?"
"I guess you could say that."
"Look, I should--we should probably do this another time..."
"No," she said, suddenly. "No. I don't--I never have company. I guess I've been a bad hostess already, but I want you to stay. I invited you here..." She glanced on the table beside her and then she patted the bed. "Come here," she said. "I want to show you something."
His eyes widened at her invitation. Did she mean, like, ON the bed? While she was still in it? Like, beside her? The shock overwhelmed him.
She smiled at him. "Well, I mean, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. Don't be afraid of me."
That was the problem. He WAS afraid of her.
But he gave in because, once again, she asked him to do something and he was powerless to tell her no. So, he walked into the dark room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Lay down," she said to him. When he hesitated, she came back with, "It works the best if you're laying down."
He swallowed hard and slowly did as she said, placing himself as far away from her on the bed as possible.
"Take off your shoes," she commanded. "You've been outside in the dirt, I don't want that all in my bed."
Uncomfortably, he kicked off his shoes and lay himself back down on his back, the tension of his body nearly physically harming him. Boldly, he turned his head to look at her, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkened room and he watched her reach with both hands for her end table, retrieve a large object, and then snuggle herself back down in her bed. Swiftly, with one arm, she covered herself with the covers and lifted the blanket to throw it over him, as well, when she stopped. "Take your coat off," she said. "You can stay awhile, it's only me. Make yourself at home."
He had never been more freaked out in his life. This was wrong. A tease. She invited him into her bed, telling him to take off articles of clothing...it would have been so, so incredibly easy to just roll over and take her right there. Their positioning and atmosphere was a complete recipe for it. He could just--make her his. Right there, he could just take her and claim her for his own, but--unfortunately, he had a feeling his
older brother already beat him to the punch. What else was new?
Winn interrupted his thoughts when she started to speak. "So, remember when I told you I was kind of a nerd?"
"Um, I don't think you ever said that..."
"When we were talking about scrapbooking? Because my being a nerd is kind of why you're here?"
"Sure, I guess. I mean, I don't think it's nerdy..."
"Well, anyway, I'm about to show you the extent of my nerd-dom. Well, maybe it's not the extent of it, but it's up there." She looked over at him and he could see her smiling at him. "When I was little, I had this old movie projector toy that was passed down to me. It was way older than me, maybe from the sixties? Used to belong to one of my parents. Anyway, I loved that thing, it was my favorite toy. As I grew up, I always had some kind of projection thing through the years. When I graduated high school and went off to college, my dad bought me this. It's my most prized possession."
Taylor was loving this. No more was he nervous about the position he found himself in. Instead, he was lost in her words, overjoyed and thrilled that she was sharing this information with him. This was what he wanted. He knew Isaac and he knew he was all about the physical stuff and everything that was on the surface. But not Taylor. He thrived on what was inside, on the feelings and dreams and experiences. The outside was merely secondary.
"This is called a Homestar PRO Home Planetarium." She turned on the spherical device that rested on her stomach and an entire sky full of stars illuminated her ceiling. He wasn't sure what she found nerdy about this. He thought the idea of having your own planetarium was actually pretty cool.
So he told her so. "I don't find this nerdy. I like how you have your own planetarium."
"I was always kinda into stars and outer space and stuff like that. My dad used to take me out in the yard at night and point out planets to me and help me trace constellations. It was kind of our thing."
"That's really nice," Taylor said quietly.
"Yeah," she agreed. "Being so far away from home gets difficult sometimes. I get homesick. So sometimes, when I have trouble falling asleep, I just turn this thing on and I trace constellations until I get drowsy. Makes me feel connected." She paused as she took a deep breath. "Anyway, this thing has everything. Constellations, planets...and I have a disc that will show me a full moon. That one's pretty cool. Looks great on the wall."
"I imagine it does," he said. "This is really cool. I like it. I mean, when you're not using it to fall asleep, I bet it could keep you pretty busy."
She turned and looked at him. "You really think it's cool?"
"Well, yeah. I'm not gonna say something just to make you feel better. And besides, maybe I'm a closet science fan, too."
She scoffed. "Closet?"
"I'm into this kind of thing. It's not something a lot of people know, but yeah. I like this. It's cool."
She smiled at him. "Guess what else it can do?" She flipped a switch and looked back up. "Watch. It has shooting stars, too."
Taylor smiled up at the ceiling. It was a neat little gadget she had. "And you said that's called a what?"
"A Homestar PRO Home Planetarium."
"Where would I be able to get one of these?"
"You really want one of your own?"
"Yeah. It's neat, I like it."
"I'm sure you could order it. I don't know where my dad got it."
"I'll look into it."
They looked up at the ceiling in silence for a moment, watching the fake shooting stars when she said, "I make wishes on these. I mean, when I feel like I need something granted. I know they're fake--and I don't really believe wish granting is real or anything--but the idea is nice. It's comforting sometimes."
He rolled over on his side and propped his head on his hand as his elbow buried itself in the pillow below him. "What do you wish for?"
She giggled. "Well if I told you, they wouldn't come true."
"I mean, not specifically. What types of things do you wish for?"
She looked at him for a moment before she took a breath and looked back up at the ceiling. "I make a lot of wishes for work lately. I wish for a good day. I wish for delinquency--or rather, I wish we would just move some delinquent accounts--"
"Do you ever wish you didn't take the job?"
"Um--sometimes...I mean, that's not really the kind of wish you make on a falling star. You make wishes that could come true."
"If you made a wish right now that could come true, what would it be?"
She fell silent. Normally he would probably feel bad for prying so much but, the truth was, he was growing more and more addicted to everything she was saying. He hung on every word. He only wanted to know more and more.
"I wish I wasn't so awkward," she finally said quietly.
"You're not awkward," he shot out, matter-of-factly. "Try again."
"Well these wishes aren't for YOU, they're for me."
"Touche. Why do you think you're awkward?"
"Because I am. I invited you here to takes pictures of trees. And then I went back to sleep on you. And now we're sitting here looking at a fake planetarium that middle schoolers generally only find joy in. If you don't find any part of that awkward, then you're as big a freak as me."
"Maybe I am."
"Yeah, right," she scoffed.
"You don't know. Maybe I am. Maybe I like planetariums and trees and lakes. Maybe I like the cold weather. Maybe I like my coffee heated only to a particular degree and no cooler or MAYBE...maybe I like to sit in my living room alone, eating sugary cereal out of a mixing bowl while watching old cartoons from our generation that I've burned in my spare time. Maybe that's what my Saturday mornings consist of from time to time."
Winn laughed and this made Taylor smile. "Are you serious? Like, really serious?"
"Absolutely. When Halloween comes around, I lose my mind because that means Frankenberry is on the shelves and I buy, like, ten boxes. Can't get enough of the stuff."
"I like Lucky Charms. Or Froot Loops with marshmallows. Or anything that has marshmallows, really."
"We should plan a breakfast date sometime."
"You got old GI Joe?"
"Of course I do. Knowing is half the battle."
Winn laughed again. "Deal. Holy crap, this is awesome."
Taylor laughed along with her. "I like you, Winn." Then he caught himself and covered quickly. "I mean, I like that you like this stuff. It's not awkward to me. As long as you're around me, you're not awkward. I promise."
She looked over at him. "Thank you. I appreciate that."
****************
An hour later, Taylor and Winn were sitting out on her deck, having coffee. She apparently had no qualms living her life as normal while he was there. She sat there, wrapped up in her blanket as she apparently normally did, and gripped her cup with both hands.
"What are you gonna do when summer gets here?" He joked with her.
"Maybe I'll figure out how to make iced coffee. And I'll likely be sitting ON the blanket instead of IN it. And then I'll be spending my weekends right there on that little pier there."
"That pier needs some work before you do anything on it. Have you actually been down there?"
She sighed. "I know. I also have to replace my walkway out front, too. This place was falling apart when I bought it."
"So why'd you buy it?"
"Are you kidding? Look where I live. And it was a foreclosure so the price was excellent. I'll just--I'll do the necessary work that needs to be done, it's not too bad. My dad said he would work on them when he came to visit."
"Well don't make your dad work when he's making a six hour trip to come spend time with you. Why don't you, uh, why don't you let me take a crack at that pier?"
She looked over at him, her eyes wide. "What?"
He shrugged nervously as he sipped his coffee. "Yeah. I mean, why not? Just needs a few boards replaced...maybe all the boards...it wouldn't be that hard."
"Tay, I can't--I can't ask you to do that--"
"You didn't ask me. I volunteered."
"Well--um--let's just...we'll see when the weather warms up."
"Offer will still be on the table."
"I won't forget."
"I won't let you."
"Do you fish?"
"Not this time of the year, they're not biting."
She smiled a knowing smile over at him and sipped her coffee as they looked out at the lake again. Could she feel it? Could she feel it like he could? How was she not realizing that they were virtually the same person? How did she not see that they were--they were soul mates?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"No. I asked you here to take pictures of the landscape around here, not of me," Winn said to Taylor as he pointed his camera at her as they stood amongst the trees below her deck.
"Have you seen your hair? It's not about you, it's about your hair. Just--pretend like I'm not here."
She scoffed a laugh. "Are you using me for my hair?'
"Right now? Yes. Just look at the water and pretend I'm not here."
Winn couldn't stop laughing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a horrible subject, I don't do things like this well. I don't--I don't act or pose..."
"But you look at water."
"Well, yeah, but--"
"So just look at the water. You're making this harder than it has to be."
"You're pointing a camera in my face!"
"Winn. Come on." He was beginning to sound frustrated. "Your hair is gorgeous against these colors out here and I just want to take a picture. Just look at the water."
Somewhere between his words and his tone Winn became a willing participant. Perhaps a little too willing. A couple of simple snapshots turned into a few smiles and a few poses. He even obliged himself in a selfie of the two of them. Somehow he had convinced her to participate in one of the things she hated doing the most and she actually had fun doing it. This was the most time she'd spent with Taylor since she met him and she was thoroughly enjoying herself. There was nothing awkward there. No tension, no over-thinking. She was allowed to be herself and she didn't feel the pressure of judgment.
When darkness fell, early as it did in the colder months, they realized that Taylor had been at her house all day long. It wasn't intentional and she certainly didn't mind it. She worried, however, that she'd kept him from whatever else he could have been doing that day. "Don't worry. It's really okay," he told her. "This is the first full day I've had off in a really long time. I've really enjoyed it."
"I have, too," she said. "Um, you know, we might as well just finish the night off and have dinner. No sense in you leaving here and the both of us eating alone, right?"
Taylor smiled and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I just--I don't want to intrude..."
"I invited you. You're not intruding. But, uh, I've learned the hard way that it's hard to get delivery out here, so..."
He winked at her. "I can whip up something from anything. Just let me have at your kitchen."
She couldn't help but smile. "Be my guest."
They ended up throwing together a random pasta dish that actually tasted really good. They took their picnic onto the living room floor where she dragged out the Homestar and projected it onto the ceiling as they ate. They laughed and they talked and they picked out fake constellations and made up ridiculous wishes for the fake shooting stars. Winn was having an absolute blast.
By the time Taylor left her house, it was nearly nine o'clock. She couldn't believe he'd literally been at her house from practically sun up to sun down. It was the best day she'd had in a long, long time. She realized how long it had been since she'd had a friend like that and she had never felt more grateful for someone in her entire life. The last wish she made, on the fake shooting star, was for Taylor to have a safe trip home.
As she settled herself in the bed, her eyes widened when she spied her phone on her end table. How had she forgotten its existence all day? Her heart pounded as she turned the screen on and her heart sank. Oh, no. How could she have forgotten that Isaac said he would call her? Furthermore, how had he not crossed her mind once during the entire day?
He had called her twice and texted her three times. Oh, no. Oh, god. What was she possibly going to say to him? Had she blown it with him?