THE UNEXPECTED BEAUTIFUL...BREAD TIE?
Taylor wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. He knew this was natural, he was no stranger to it, but it didn't make it any less...awkward. So he gave it a minute and, when he heard the toilet flush, he made his way to the bathroom. By the time he peeked in the door, Winn was sitting on the toilet lid with her head in her hands. "Are okay?" He asked gently.
He heard her sniff into her hands and she nodded, not looking up.
"Hey..." He stepped in the doorway and made his way toward her and she looked up and hunkered away.
"Don't come near me," she said, her voice cracking. "I'm gross."
"You're not gross."
"It got in my hair--"
"It happens."
"And I don't have any of my stuff down here. Please don't come near me." She sniffed again.
"Winn, are you crying?"
And then she burst into sobs. He should have known better. "I'm so embarrassed!"
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's natural. At least I know I don't repulse you." He chuckled to try and lighten the mood.
"No. I'm the one who's repulsive!" He pulled her up from the toilet lid and took her in his arms. "Tay, I'm gross, don't do that."
He hugged her tighter. "You're not gross. You could never be gross. How are you feeling, do you feel better?"
"I hate this. I hate throwing up and feeling nauseous all the time. I crave all this crazy food and then when I eat it, I just throw it right back up. Why do I want things if I can't keep it down?"
"I don't know. But from what I remember with my mom, the first trimester's the worst. You just gotta get through that and then you're golden. And, hey." He pulled away to look at her face. "You know what? We don't leave out till late March. So I'll be with you most of the way."
"Really?" She sniffed.
He smiled. "Absolutely."
"I really need to go get cleaned up."
As they walked out of the bathroom, he said to her, "If this is bad timing, it's cool, but any idea what you want for dinner?"
"Soup," she said simply.
Okay, that was gross in this moment. But he chose to ignore it. "Soup? On our date?"
She nodded. "It's snowing outside. When it snows, I eat soup."
He looked at her for a moment and he found himself amused. She had a lot of little quirky customs and traditions and he was fascinated every time he learned a new one. He realized he still had so much to learn about her and the thought was exhilarating. He couldn't wait to find out all there was to know. "Okay," he said. "I can, uh, I can find a way to make soup romantic. Why don't you, um, go do what you need to do, I'll throw some things in a pot, and when it's ready, we can go on our date?"
She smiled at him and then she headed upstairs. He couldn't help it when he smiled up after her. God, she was adorable.
In the kitchen, he rummaged around, gathering vegetables, meat, and spices and, as he put everything together, he started to think. He couldn't help the way Winn's pregnancy nagged at him. Her relationship with Isaac nagged at him. He knew it shouldn't. Hell, it hadn't nagged at him when he'd missed her and pined for her all this time. All he wanted was HER. And now that he...he did have her, right? Was this it? Were they doing this? Or was she simply sleeping in his bed for a few days? Was this something that needed to be addressed?
He had managed to talk himself into a panic and he didn't really know what to think. So in the middle of his dinner prep, he texted Isaac. "What are you doing? You guys got power?"
It didn't take long for him to text back. "Watching the kids have a temper tantrum over going outside. Yes, we have power. What's up? Did you get to Winn's place?"
"Yeah. Back at my house now. She's upstairs."
"Good. So you made it in time."
"Barely. She told me about the baby."
"Already? Wow. Good for her."
"Did you think that she wouldn't?"
Moments later, to his surprise, Taylor's phone rang. "Hey," he said to Isaac.
"She's scared," Isaac said. "It's not that I didn't think she would tell you. I'm just surprised she told you so fast. I had to pull it out of her, she wasn't going to tell me."
Taylor peeked around the corner and up the stairs and saw no sight of Winn. He stepped back into the kitchen. "So how did you know?"
"Cause she came over to my place for dinner while ago and I could tell she was gaining weight and she doused her food in Tobasco, and she hates spicy food. I put two and two together. How did she end up telling you?"
"Because I threatened to run us off the side of the road and into a ditch if she didn't tell me she loved me and she got scared and blurted it out."
"You're a fucking lunatic, you know that? I mean, seriously, who DOES that?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know..."
"So you're gonna be a father. Congratulations, that's fantastic."
Taylor's head suddenly dizzied at the thought. He was going to be a father...he couldn't get used to it. "Yeah..."
"What's the matter? Are you not--? Shit, Tay, I told her you'd be happy about it!" Isaac hissed into the phone.
"You know, I can't believe you knew all this time and didn't tell me--"
"It wasn't my place to tell." He paused for a moment before he continued. "Are you--are you not happy about it?"
Taylor sighed. "I just--I want to be--I--I mean I am, I just--it's a little...I don't know, I just--it bothers me a little, I can't put my finger on it."
"Is it me?" Isaac asked suddenly.
"Um--it's not--I mean--"
"Tay, the baby's not mine--"
"I know. I--I think...I just...I just need to know. I need to know..."
"Did you text me to find out if she and I still had something going on? Are you trying to talk yourself out of this?"
"No! I don't want to talk myself out of anything, just--yeah, I guess the whole thing is kinda weird...considering..."
"I can assure you, Winn and I have absolutely nothing going on. And we never will. She loves you, it wasn't written in the stars for us. We were never serious, we never really...we never planned a future, we just--it was always about you, Tay. She's your woman, with your baby--that's your family. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."
"I know, I just...I mean, she told me the math and how she knows its mine, but that one nagging part in me thinks there might be a chance..."
"Trust her, Tay. She knows. You have a good woman there, don't let your mind get carried away and run her off. She's the kind of woman where if you just simply love her, she'll take care of you for the rest of your life. She's the most selfless person I've ever met."
"I know. It's just--it's a lot to take in. I haven't seen her in a month and bam, she's pregnant. I can't help but think about the coincidence of it all. I just can't--I can't wrap my head around it. I'm gonna be a father--ninety percent chance. I just--I think I need--"
"A paternity test?"
"Would that be bad? Should I even be talking to you about this? I mean, don't you--don't you ever wonder...?"
"No. I don't wonder. Cause there's no chance in hell that baby is mine. I know it isn't. But, I mean, if a paternity test would make you feel better, I'm sure she'd grant you one..."
"I can't ask her for that--"
"But you want to, don't you?"
"No, I don't--I don't WANT to--I just--Ike, I'm happy. I'm fucking ecstatic, but I don't know if I'm supposed to be. It's like--like it's almost too good to be true, you know?"
"But it IS true, Tay. This is happening. The woman you love is having your baby. Stop thinking about it so much and just be happy. This is a good thing. I promise."
"You're right," Taylor said, letting out a breath. "You're absolutely right. I just--I needed that. Thanks for the talk."
"Anytime. It's what I'm here for. It's time to stop bottling stuff up now. It's time to just--let it all out. You'll be happier. I promise."
Taylor hung up with Isaac and let out a breath. He turned around and was caught by surprise when he saw Winn standing in the doorway in jeans and a sweater and her wet hair in a mess on top of her head. His heart started to pound with guilt. "Hey. I, uh, didn't hear you come in."
She glanced down at her feet, once again adorned with the white bunny slippers. "I guess these are obnoxious after all," she replied quietly.
"I think they're adorable."
"No, you don't. I could tell you hated them by the way you asked about them earlier."
"I don't hate them."
She was silent for a moment as she fidgeted with her hands. Her eyes fell onto them and she wouldn't look at him. "I, um, I didn't realize you didn't trust me."
Taylor's heart sank. He hadn't meant for her to hear any of that conversation and now he felt like an asshole for even having it. "Winn, no. That is not true..."
Then she looked up at him. "Maybe, uh, maybe we should postpone our date. You know, until the weather clears up outside."
"I don't want to..."
"I'm, um, I'm pretty tired. I'm gonna lay down and take a nap."
"Winn--"
But she was already leaving the doorway. It was bad enough that he'd crushed her feelings. It was even worse when he followed her out the doorway and watched her bypass the staircase and open one of the guest room doors.
Taylor let out a sigh and propped himself in the doorway of the kitchen. One of these days he would shut his mouth and stop screwing up all the time. Then he spied his phone on the counter and walked over and snatched it up, texting Isaac again. "So Winn overheard our convo."
"Way to be careful there, bro. Is she mad?"
"Worse. She's hurt. She thinks I don't trust her."
"Honestly, that's how you're coming across."
"What do I do?"
"Do you trust her?"
"Yeah, of course I do."
"Why are you even texting me right now? Is she not there?"
"She said she needed a nap."
"You're a moron."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious."
"Why didn't you follow her?"
Taylor stopped and thought about it for a second. Why DIDN'T he follow her? "Because I don't know what to say. How do I change her mind?"
"Just be there. Stop the melodramatics and be there. Be her man. She needs the support. She needs to know you love her, no matter what."
"She DOES know."
"It's more than just words, bro."
"When did you become such an expert?"
"Since I learned what NOT to do."
"She'll never believe me now."
"That woman is more trusting than anyone I've ever met. Sometimes I think she's a little too trusting. I'll be honest, you're an idiot to be having any kind of apprehensions about her. Don't let this one get away."
"Tell me I didn't screw this up. Tell me I'm not gonna lose her."
"Just be honest with her. That's all I can tell you."
Taylor let out a breath and put the phone down and, hesitantly, he headed to the guest room.
The door was cracked and he chose not to knock for fear that she might already be asleep. Opening the door slowly, peeking his head around it, he discovered that she wasn't in the bed. Instead, he found her standing by the window, watching the snow fall outside. Leave it to her to find the room with the best view.
He stepped inside and crossed the room lightly. He shoved his hands into his pockets and sat on the edge of the bed closest to her. "I, um, I think you may have misunderstood what you heard."
He heard her let out a soft sigh. "I didn't lie to you when I told you I loved you," she said quietly. "You...you make me feel things I've never felt before. Even different than how I felt about my ex, and I was gonna marry him. Everything is so strange and brand new and exciting. And maybe that's normal, I don't know. But--but telling you I love you makes me feel like a giddy schoolgirl again. When you enter a room, my heart races and my hands start to sweat and--you take my breath away. When you smile at me, when you say my name, I just--I can't describe what it does to my heart. It's been that way for me since day one. But when I say I love you, it isn't just words. It comes with respect...admiration...pride...and trust. When I say I love you, I give you my heart. And that's not something I give away freely."
"Winn, I feel the same about you--"
She shook her head at the window. "No, you don't. Love doesn't come with suspicion. Or stipulations. It's unconditional. I didn't think things between us would be this difficult. It's supposed to be easy. It's why we work so well. But we can never go back, Tay. We can't go back to the way things used to be."
"Because we're more than that."
Finally, she turned around and showed him a freshly tear-streaked face. "Not as long as you don't trust me."
"Winn, I trust you. I swear to you, I would lay my life in your hands right now. But you gotta understand, given what--what we've just been through and then learning you're pregnant, that's just--it's a lot to take in all at one time."
"How do you think I feel, Tay?" She said, her voice growing a little louder. "I'm the one who's pregnant. I'm the one who lost her job. I'm the one who lost EVERYTHING because of you and Ike. And you call HIM to make sure I'M not lying to you? I KNOW the baby is yours. There's no question about it. And I didn't come running to you. I didn't trap you, I MADE a plan. Because I can take care of myself--"
"You should have, Winn. You should have come to me--"
"What, so you can not trust me sooner than later? Tay, WE ARE HAVING A BABY," she stated slowly. "Whether we have time to take it in or not, it's coming. And you can either be on board or don't. But I have to do what I have to do to get by. And, unfortunately, that means selling my house and going back to Abilene to work in my mother's friend's hair salon--"
"You don't know shit about doing hair--"
"But it's a job. And it'll pay for health insurance and it'll get me by until the baby is old enough to be in daycare and I can get a full-time job."
Taylor couldn't take this. It DID sound as if she had a plan. One that didn't include him. And it didn't include him because it was apparent that she expected him to...to do exactly what he'd just done. Holy shit, he'd completely screwed himself here. "Winn, that's--that's my child..."
"I'm aware. I'm not denying you rights--"
"This is crazy, you know that? Absolutely ludicrous."
"It isn't. I have it all figured out--"
"No. No, I can't allow it. I won't. You're not taking my baby away from me and you're not taking the woman I love away from me and I can't let you leave. Winn, I can't live without you."
He saw the tears build up in her eyes again and, in his desperation, he chose to take advantage of them. He reached over and he took her hand, pulling her the few steps toward him. "I fell so desperately in love with you the first day I ever came over to your house. When you invited me into your world and everything felt like home. When you couldn't stay awake, regardless of my presence. When I couldn't stop taking pictures of you outside because I couldn't bear to miss a single moment of how unbelievably beautiful you are. So I had a momentary lapse in judgment a few minutes ago. Sometimes I can be a bastard, Winn, it happens. I open my mouth without thinking. But I can't let you go. You can't sell your house and you can't leave me. I'm in love with you, Winn. I'm in love with you and I'm in love with our unborn child, and I need you both. I NEED you. You have to stay."
"Tay," she whispered, her voice cracking. "You're only saying all this because--"
"It's true. I'm saying it because it's true. Every single word of it."
She blinked the tears away and her mouth hung up and she shook her head in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, she creaked out, "Tay, I--I don't have a choice--"
"You do have a choice. Your choice is me. Let me handle this, let me take care of you. Let me pay off your house, it can be our summer home or--or our little getaway on the weekends. We can live here. There's plenty of room, it's the perfect house to raise a baby in. We can spend our Christmases in the bay window with bubble lights and have birthday parties in the backyard--in September, the weather will be perfect for that. And--and sometimes you can travel with me and I can show you and our baby the world and--and it'll be perfect. Our lives will be perfect, Winn, please. Please just--just stay with me. Live with me. Be with me. Marry me."
Her eyes widened and, in that moment, he realized what just came out of his mouth. "Excuse me?" She creaked out.
His eyes darted around the room in quick thought. And then he made a decision, thinking solely with his heart, and he looked up at her. "Marry me," he repeated.
The shock never left her face, but her tears had dried up quickly. "Tay, we--we've only known each other a few months--"
"That doesn't matter. It feels like it's been forever. It feels right. You were put on this earth especially for me and I was put here especially for you. This is what we both fought all through our lives for. And we finally found each other and this is exactly where we were supposed to end up--right here, just like this, together. You and me."
He heard her breath catch in her throat and her eyes teared up again. "This is crazy," she whispered.
He looked into her eyes in thought and then he lowered himself off the bed and down on one knee. His nerves tore him up and he swallowed his tears and he knew he gripped her hand for dear life. She covered her mouth in shock, her body completely frozen. "I don't have a ring for you right now," he whispered as he looked up at her. Then he nodded toward the kitchen. "But I've got a bread tie or two in there with your name on them until I can get you one." He watched her crack a smile and that alone gave him the confidence he needed to continue. "I know this is sudden and maybe a little crazy. And if you can look at me and tell me that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with me, then I'll stand up right now. I don't want to stand up, Winn. Don't make me stand up."
She looked at him for a moment, a tear streaming down her face. "Tay, are you serious? Are you--are you really serious?"
"I've never been more serious about anything in my life. You're the love of my life. And I'm asking you, I'm--Winifred Douglas, I'm practically begging you, please--will you marry me?"
The two or three seconds it took for her to react felt like two or three centuries. She burst into tears and she dropped to her knees in front of him and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The motion he felt in his shoulder felt like a nod and then he had to snicker a little when she sniffed loudly in his ear. Stroking her hair, he turned his head toward her and smiled. "I can't hear your head rattle, sweetheart."
"Yes," she said, lifting her head and looking at him, wiping her face with her sleeve. "This is the craziest damn thing I've ever done but, yes. Yes, I'll marry you. If--if you're really serious."
"Stop questioning it, I'm serious."
"I love you," she squeaked out. "I just--I really, really love you."
He smoothed her hair out of her face and he kissed her forehead. "Are we still on for tonight?"
She nodded and sniffed the remnants of her tears away. "I want my bread tie."
A grin spread across his face. "It'll be an honor and a privilege to tie a bread tie around your finger and make you mine."
Finally, her smiled matched his, the familiar enthusiastic and infectious smile he had grown to know and love. He would live the rest of his life dedicated to making her smile just like that.
Taylor wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. He knew this was natural, he was no stranger to it, but it didn't make it any less...awkward. So he gave it a minute and, when he heard the toilet flush, he made his way to the bathroom. By the time he peeked in the door, Winn was sitting on the toilet lid with her head in her hands. "Are okay?" He asked gently.
He heard her sniff into her hands and she nodded, not looking up.
"Hey..." He stepped in the doorway and made his way toward her and she looked up and hunkered away.
"Don't come near me," she said, her voice cracking. "I'm gross."
"You're not gross."
"It got in my hair--"
"It happens."
"And I don't have any of my stuff down here. Please don't come near me." She sniffed again.
"Winn, are you crying?"
And then she burst into sobs. He should have known better. "I'm so embarrassed!"
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's natural. At least I know I don't repulse you." He chuckled to try and lighten the mood.
"No. I'm the one who's repulsive!" He pulled her up from the toilet lid and took her in his arms. "Tay, I'm gross, don't do that."
He hugged her tighter. "You're not gross. You could never be gross. How are you feeling, do you feel better?"
"I hate this. I hate throwing up and feeling nauseous all the time. I crave all this crazy food and then when I eat it, I just throw it right back up. Why do I want things if I can't keep it down?"
"I don't know. But from what I remember with my mom, the first trimester's the worst. You just gotta get through that and then you're golden. And, hey." He pulled away to look at her face. "You know what? We don't leave out till late March. So I'll be with you most of the way."
"Really?" She sniffed.
He smiled. "Absolutely."
"I really need to go get cleaned up."
As they walked out of the bathroom, he said to her, "If this is bad timing, it's cool, but any idea what you want for dinner?"
"Soup," she said simply.
Okay, that was gross in this moment. But he chose to ignore it. "Soup? On our date?"
She nodded. "It's snowing outside. When it snows, I eat soup."
He looked at her for a moment and he found himself amused. She had a lot of little quirky customs and traditions and he was fascinated every time he learned a new one. He realized he still had so much to learn about her and the thought was exhilarating. He couldn't wait to find out all there was to know. "Okay," he said. "I can, uh, I can find a way to make soup romantic. Why don't you, um, go do what you need to do, I'll throw some things in a pot, and when it's ready, we can go on our date?"
She smiled at him and then she headed upstairs. He couldn't help it when he smiled up after her. God, she was adorable.
In the kitchen, he rummaged around, gathering vegetables, meat, and spices and, as he put everything together, he started to think. He couldn't help the way Winn's pregnancy nagged at him. Her relationship with Isaac nagged at him. He knew it shouldn't. Hell, it hadn't nagged at him when he'd missed her and pined for her all this time. All he wanted was HER. And now that he...he did have her, right? Was this it? Were they doing this? Or was she simply sleeping in his bed for a few days? Was this something that needed to be addressed?
He had managed to talk himself into a panic and he didn't really know what to think. So in the middle of his dinner prep, he texted Isaac. "What are you doing? You guys got power?"
It didn't take long for him to text back. "Watching the kids have a temper tantrum over going outside. Yes, we have power. What's up? Did you get to Winn's place?"
"Yeah. Back at my house now. She's upstairs."
"Good. So you made it in time."
"Barely. She told me about the baby."
"Already? Wow. Good for her."
"Did you think that she wouldn't?"
Moments later, to his surprise, Taylor's phone rang. "Hey," he said to Isaac.
"She's scared," Isaac said. "It's not that I didn't think she would tell you. I'm just surprised she told you so fast. I had to pull it out of her, she wasn't going to tell me."
Taylor peeked around the corner and up the stairs and saw no sight of Winn. He stepped back into the kitchen. "So how did you know?"
"Cause she came over to my place for dinner while ago and I could tell she was gaining weight and she doused her food in Tobasco, and she hates spicy food. I put two and two together. How did she end up telling you?"
"Because I threatened to run us off the side of the road and into a ditch if she didn't tell me she loved me and she got scared and blurted it out."
"You're a fucking lunatic, you know that? I mean, seriously, who DOES that?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know..."
"So you're gonna be a father. Congratulations, that's fantastic."
Taylor's head suddenly dizzied at the thought. He was going to be a father...he couldn't get used to it. "Yeah..."
"What's the matter? Are you not--? Shit, Tay, I told her you'd be happy about it!" Isaac hissed into the phone.
"You know, I can't believe you knew all this time and didn't tell me--"
"It wasn't my place to tell." He paused for a moment before he continued. "Are you--are you not happy about it?"
Taylor sighed. "I just--I want to be--I--I mean I am, I just--it's a little...I don't know, I just--it bothers me a little, I can't put my finger on it."
"Is it me?" Isaac asked suddenly.
"Um--it's not--I mean--"
"Tay, the baby's not mine--"
"I know. I--I think...I just...I just need to know. I need to know..."
"Did you text me to find out if she and I still had something going on? Are you trying to talk yourself out of this?"
"No! I don't want to talk myself out of anything, just--yeah, I guess the whole thing is kinda weird...considering..."
"I can assure you, Winn and I have absolutely nothing going on. And we never will. She loves you, it wasn't written in the stars for us. We were never serious, we never really...we never planned a future, we just--it was always about you, Tay. She's your woman, with your baby--that's your family. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."
"I know, I just...I mean, she told me the math and how she knows its mine, but that one nagging part in me thinks there might be a chance..."
"Trust her, Tay. She knows. You have a good woman there, don't let your mind get carried away and run her off. She's the kind of woman where if you just simply love her, she'll take care of you for the rest of your life. She's the most selfless person I've ever met."
"I know. It's just--it's a lot to take in. I haven't seen her in a month and bam, she's pregnant. I can't help but think about the coincidence of it all. I just can't--I can't wrap my head around it. I'm gonna be a father--ninety percent chance. I just--I think I need--"
"A paternity test?"
"Would that be bad? Should I even be talking to you about this? I mean, don't you--don't you ever wonder...?"
"No. I don't wonder. Cause there's no chance in hell that baby is mine. I know it isn't. But, I mean, if a paternity test would make you feel better, I'm sure she'd grant you one..."
"I can't ask her for that--"
"But you want to, don't you?"
"No, I don't--I don't WANT to--I just--Ike, I'm happy. I'm fucking ecstatic, but I don't know if I'm supposed to be. It's like--like it's almost too good to be true, you know?"
"But it IS true, Tay. This is happening. The woman you love is having your baby. Stop thinking about it so much and just be happy. This is a good thing. I promise."
"You're right," Taylor said, letting out a breath. "You're absolutely right. I just--I needed that. Thanks for the talk."
"Anytime. It's what I'm here for. It's time to stop bottling stuff up now. It's time to just--let it all out. You'll be happier. I promise."
Taylor hung up with Isaac and let out a breath. He turned around and was caught by surprise when he saw Winn standing in the doorway in jeans and a sweater and her wet hair in a mess on top of her head. His heart started to pound with guilt. "Hey. I, uh, didn't hear you come in."
She glanced down at her feet, once again adorned with the white bunny slippers. "I guess these are obnoxious after all," she replied quietly.
"I think they're adorable."
"No, you don't. I could tell you hated them by the way you asked about them earlier."
"I don't hate them."
She was silent for a moment as she fidgeted with her hands. Her eyes fell onto them and she wouldn't look at him. "I, um, I didn't realize you didn't trust me."
Taylor's heart sank. He hadn't meant for her to hear any of that conversation and now he felt like an asshole for even having it. "Winn, no. That is not true..."
Then she looked up at him. "Maybe, uh, maybe we should postpone our date. You know, until the weather clears up outside."
"I don't want to..."
"I'm, um, I'm pretty tired. I'm gonna lay down and take a nap."
"Winn--"
But she was already leaving the doorway. It was bad enough that he'd crushed her feelings. It was even worse when he followed her out the doorway and watched her bypass the staircase and open one of the guest room doors.
Taylor let out a sigh and propped himself in the doorway of the kitchen. One of these days he would shut his mouth and stop screwing up all the time. Then he spied his phone on the counter and walked over and snatched it up, texting Isaac again. "So Winn overheard our convo."
"Way to be careful there, bro. Is she mad?"
"Worse. She's hurt. She thinks I don't trust her."
"Honestly, that's how you're coming across."
"What do I do?"
"Do you trust her?"
"Yeah, of course I do."
"Why are you even texting me right now? Is she not there?"
"She said she needed a nap."
"You're a moron."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious."
"Why didn't you follow her?"
Taylor stopped and thought about it for a second. Why DIDN'T he follow her? "Because I don't know what to say. How do I change her mind?"
"Just be there. Stop the melodramatics and be there. Be her man. She needs the support. She needs to know you love her, no matter what."
"She DOES know."
"It's more than just words, bro."
"When did you become such an expert?"
"Since I learned what NOT to do."
"She'll never believe me now."
"That woman is more trusting than anyone I've ever met. Sometimes I think she's a little too trusting. I'll be honest, you're an idiot to be having any kind of apprehensions about her. Don't let this one get away."
"Tell me I didn't screw this up. Tell me I'm not gonna lose her."
"Just be honest with her. That's all I can tell you."
Taylor let out a breath and put the phone down and, hesitantly, he headed to the guest room.
The door was cracked and he chose not to knock for fear that she might already be asleep. Opening the door slowly, peeking his head around it, he discovered that she wasn't in the bed. Instead, he found her standing by the window, watching the snow fall outside. Leave it to her to find the room with the best view.
He stepped inside and crossed the room lightly. He shoved his hands into his pockets and sat on the edge of the bed closest to her. "I, um, I think you may have misunderstood what you heard."
He heard her let out a soft sigh. "I didn't lie to you when I told you I loved you," she said quietly. "You...you make me feel things I've never felt before. Even different than how I felt about my ex, and I was gonna marry him. Everything is so strange and brand new and exciting. And maybe that's normal, I don't know. But--but telling you I love you makes me feel like a giddy schoolgirl again. When you enter a room, my heart races and my hands start to sweat and--you take my breath away. When you smile at me, when you say my name, I just--I can't describe what it does to my heart. It's been that way for me since day one. But when I say I love you, it isn't just words. It comes with respect...admiration...pride...and trust. When I say I love you, I give you my heart. And that's not something I give away freely."
"Winn, I feel the same about you--"
She shook her head at the window. "No, you don't. Love doesn't come with suspicion. Or stipulations. It's unconditional. I didn't think things between us would be this difficult. It's supposed to be easy. It's why we work so well. But we can never go back, Tay. We can't go back to the way things used to be."
"Because we're more than that."
Finally, she turned around and showed him a freshly tear-streaked face. "Not as long as you don't trust me."
"Winn, I trust you. I swear to you, I would lay my life in your hands right now. But you gotta understand, given what--what we've just been through and then learning you're pregnant, that's just--it's a lot to take in all at one time."
"How do you think I feel, Tay?" She said, her voice growing a little louder. "I'm the one who's pregnant. I'm the one who lost her job. I'm the one who lost EVERYTHING because of you and Ike. And you call HIM to make sure I'M not lying to you? I KNOW the baby is yours. There's no question about it. And I didn't come running to you. I didn't trap you, I MADE a plan. Because I can take care of myself--"
"You should have, Winn. You should have come to me--"
"What, so you can not trust me sooner than later? Tay, WE ARE HAVING A BABY," she stated slowly. "Whether we have time to take it in or not, it's coming. And you can either be on board or don't. But I have to do what I have to do to get by. And, unfortunately, that means selling my house and going back to Abilene to work in my mother's friend's hair salon--"
"You don't know shit about doing hair--"
"But it's a job. And it'll pay for health insurance and it'll get me by until the baby is old enough to be in daycare and I can get a full-time job."
Taylor couldn't take this. It DID sound as if she had a plan. One that didn't include him. And it didn't include him because it was apparent that she expected him to...to do exactly what he'd just done. Holy shit, he'd completely screwed himself here. "Winn, that's--that's my child..."
"I'm aware. I'm not denying you rights--"
"This is crazy, you know that? Absolutely ludicrous."
"It isn't. I have it all figured out--"
"No. No, I can't allow it. I won't. You're not taking my baby away from me and you're not taking the woman I love away from me and I can't let you leave. Winn, I can't live without you."
He saw the tears build up in her eyes again and, in his desperation, he chose to take advantage of them. He reached over and he took her hand, pulling her the few steps toward him. "I fell so desperately in love with you the first day I ever came over to your house. When you invited me into your world and everything felt like home. When you couldn't stay awake, regardless of my presence. When I couldn't stop taking pictures of you outside because I couldn't bear to miss a single moment of how unbelievably beautiful you are. So I had a momentary lapse in judgment a few minutes ago. Sometimes I can be a bastard, Winn, it happens. I open my mouth without thinking. But I can't let you go. You can't sell your house and you can't leave me. I'm in love with you, Winn. I'm in love with you and I'm in love with our unborn child, and I need you both. I NEED you. You have to stay."
"Tay," she whispered, her voice cracking. "You're only saying all this because--"
"It's true. I'm saying it because it's true. Every single word of it."
She blinked the tears away and her mouth hung up and she shook her head in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, she creaked out, "Tay, I--I don't have a choice--"
"You do have a choice. Your choice is me. Let me handle this, let me take care of you. Let me pay off your house, it can be our summer home or--or our little getaway on the weekends. We can live here. There's plenty of room, it's the perfect house to raise a baby in. We can spend our Christmases in the bay window with bubble lights and have birthday parties in the backyard--in September, the weather will be perfect for that. And--and sometimes you can travel with me and I can show you and our baby the world and--and it'll be perfect. Our lives will be perfect, Winn, please. Please just--just stay with me. Live with me. Be with me. Marry me."
Her eyes widened and, in that moment, he realized what just came out of his mouth. "Excuse me?" She creaked out.
His eyes darted around the room in quick thought. And then he made a decision, thinking solely with his heart, and he looked up at her. "Marry me," he repeated.
The shock never left her face, but her tears had dried up quickly. "Tay, we--we've only known each other a few months--"
"That doesn't matter. It feels like it's been forever. It feels right. You were put on this earth especially for me and I was put here especially for you. This is what we both fought all through our lives for. And we finally found each other and this is exactly where we were supposed to end up--right here, just like this, together. You and me."
He heard her breath catch in her throat and her eyes teared up again. "This is crazy," she whispered.
He looked into her eyes in thought and then he lowered himself off the bed and down on one knee. His nerves tore him up and he swallowed his tears and he knew he gripped her hand for dear life. She covered her mouth in shock, her body completely frozen. "I don't have a ring for you right now," he whispered as he looked up at her. Then he nodded toward the kitchen. "But I've got a bread tie or two in there with your name on them until I can get you one." He watched her crack a smile and that alone gave him the confidence he needed to continue. "I know this is sudden and maybe a little crazy. And if you can look at me and tell me that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with me, then I'll stand up right now. I don't want to stand up, Winn. Don't make me stand up."
She looked at him for a moment, a tear streaming down her face. "Tay, are you serious? Are you--are you really serious?"
"I've never been more serious about anything in my life. You're the love of my life. And I'm asking you, I'm--Winifred Douglas, I'm practically begging you, please--will you marry me?"
The two or three seconds it took for her to react felt like two or three centuries. She burst into tears and she dropped to her knees in front of him and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The motion he felt in his shoulder felt like a nod and then he had to snicker a little when she sniffed loudly in his ear. Stroking her hair, he turned his head toward her and smiled. "I can't hear your head rattle, sweetheart."
"Yes," she said, lifting her head and looking at him, wiping her face with her sleeve. "This is the craziest damn thing I've ever done but, yes. Yes, I'll marry you. If--if you're really serious."
"Stop questioning it, I'm serious."
"I love you," she squeaked out. "I just--I really, really love you."
He smoothed her hair out of her face and he kissed her forehead. "Are we still on for tonight?"
She nodded and sniffed the remnants of her tears away. "I want my bread tie."
A grin spread across his face. "It'll be an honor and a privilege to tie a bread tie around your finger and make you mine."
Finally, her smiled matched his, the familiar enthusiastic and infectious smile he had grown to know and love. He would live the rest of his life dedicated to making her smile just like that.