THERE WILL BE PANIC IN THE STREETS
As expected, Winn never heard from Taylor. He never called. He never texted. He never showed his face across the street at the studio. She was just getting used to the idea of the possibility of her and Isaac becoming an item when she walked out of work after dark Tuesday night and found Taylor leaning against her car in his coat and his scarf with his hands shoved in his pockets.
At first, Winn was startled by his presence. Then she was upset. "Fancy meeting you here."
"You hate me. I get it."
"Well, I try not to associate with hardened criminals." She also tried not to look into the beautiful blue eyes that stared at her with startling intensity.
"Come on, Winn, it was just a traffic violation--"
"What about before that? Huh? Where's THAT excuse?"
"I am SO sorry--"
"You know, Tay, I'm just...SO MAD at you! Do you have any idea how--how cheap and used and--and ANGRY I feel? Do you?"
"I never meant to make you feel that way--"
"Well, you did. And that's unacceptable. And--and why are you even here? You made such a huge effort to run away and then hang up on me the other night--"
"Because I needed to see you. Because I miss you--"
"Well, you're too late."
"I know."
"It's one thing to get a little freaked out. But for you to react the way you did, for you to just--just shatter my heart the way you did--"
"Your heart?"
She got quiet for a moment as she looked at him. "You broke my heart. You made love to me and then you broke my heart. And that's unacceptable to me."
"Winn, what are you saying?"
Her voice caught in her throat and then she stood her ground. "I have a nail appointment that I'm about to be late for."
Taylor shifted his weight, annoyed. "What, so you can be Ike's arm candy tomorrow night?"
"I'm his date tomorrow night, yes," she replied defiantly.
"Don't go with him."
"I WANT to go with him. Because he is kind and he is good and you know what the best part is? He doesn't leave! He doesn't pull stupid stunts like hang up in mid conversation or disappear or land in jail. Ike cares about me, Tay! Which is more than I can say for you. What gives you the right to make such demands in the first place?"
"Winn, please--"
"Please let me get in my car. I have to get to my appointment."
He moved out of her way enough for her to open her door. As she prepared to get in, he closed in on her. "We need to talk," he said quietly.
"No, we really don't. Your behavior these past few days has told me everything I needed to know."
"About what?"
She stared at him for a moment. "I'm late, I have to go."
Before she knew it, his lips closed over hers unexpectedly. And uninvited. And much to her horror, she melted into him instantly, finding herself desperate for his kiss and losing herself in his embrace.
And then reality hit her. She suddenly broke their kiss and shoved him backward, sending him stumbling from the force of it. "NO! No, you stay away from me! You can't do that!"
"Winn, stop this. You felt it then and you feel it now."
"I feel nothing! I feel--I feel like you can't just--you can't just appear out of the blue and think that everything is going to be okay. Because it's not! It's NOT okay!"
"I'm trying to make it okay--"
"It's not going to work. I have a plan. This is not--it's not in my plan--"
"Oh, please, you don't have the first plan for anything."
"Well, I do now," she said, her face hardening. "And they don't include you."
She could see in his face that she'd shattered him and she swallowed hard to force down the tears she was tired of crying. "You don't mean that..."
She took a deep breath and lifted her chin confidently. "I'm late for my appointment. Please excuse me."
Without another word, he stepped backward and he stared at her. And then he turned on his heel and walked swiftly across the street. Winn bawled all the way to the nail salon.
******************
The next day was Wednesday. New Year's Eve. The last day of the month, the last day of the year. Winn made it a point to throw herself into her work. She sort of didn't have a choice. They had to struggle to get the payments in to make her monthly standard goals and at the start of the morning, it wasn't looking good. She didn't even take a lunch break and by the time seven that night rolled around, she was spent. She'd had enough.
She held her head in her hands as Tina finished up the deposit. "A half a percent," she muttered. "We're going to close out with a half a percent to make delinquency."
"We had a good month otherwise," Steph said, trying to reason with her. "We're up in loan volume, that's an improvement from last month."
"We shouldn't have missed it last month," Winn snapped. "It was growth season." Then she sighed and she looked around her office. "But we made a valiant effort. We did work hard this month and I do appreciate all three of you for it. I saw good teamwork in here. If we keep it up just like this, next month should be a breeze. Everybody agreed?"
Half an hour later, admitting defeat and heading home, Winn wasted no time popping a few bites of whatever was in her kitchen in her mouth and getting in the shower. She was expecting Isaac by nine and that barely left her enough time to get ready.
She sped through her shower so that she could wrestle her hair with the blow dryer. Half an hour later, she had put her makeup on her face and shimmied into what was probably the most beautiful dress she'd ever owned. The charge on her credit card made her stomach churn, but looking in the mirror made it all worth it. It was simple and black, one-shouldered, cinched at the waist, with a slim, chiffon skirt that reached the floor. She wore basic black platform pumps underneath and she was at the vanity in the bedroom, pinning her hair up, knowing Isaac would be there any second now, and breathing a sigh of relief that she'd managed to be ready just in time.
As she grew frustrated with a strand of hair that wouldn't seem to stay in place, she dropped her hair pin and proceeded to look for it on her crowded vanity. Suddenly, something caught her eye and she paused to pull the corner out from underneath a few random items.
Her heart stopped and her breath caught as she forgot about the picture she held in her hand. How long had it been on the vanity?
Taylor had gone camera-crazy on Thanksgiving, just like he always did with any function. His camera practically stayed glued to him. Winn remembered this moment vividly. He'd asked Mac to take their picture on a random whim as they stood in the kitchen before dinner. The whole thing only took a few seconds. They'd smiled and Mac took the picture and then it was over. But the picture...the picture, as simple as it was, captured everything that they were. Everything they had stood for. They were smiling and they were happy and they were comfortable. Winn was so happy when she was with Taylor. He felt safe. And secure. And warm. Taylor felt like home.
She looked from the picture and into the mirror at herself. Blue eyes. Blue eyes haunted her dreams night after night. In the back of her mind, she'd always suspected the meaning, but she chose to live in denial. Because it couldn't be. He was her best friend. He was her soul mate...
She covered her mouth and she gasped. How had she not realized it? How could she have been so blind? He brought her coffee. He stole mistletoe to remember a party he'd invited himself to so she wouldn't have to be alone. He made sure she wasn't alone on Thanksgiving, on Christmas...he flew her parents in because he knew she missed them. He fought with her and he ran because he thought...he thought she didn't...oh god, where had she gone wrong? Where was the turn into left field that sent everything spiraling out of control?
She was contemplating this frantically when she heard Isaac in her bedroom doorway. She hadn't heard him come into the house. "You look absolutely stunning," he said, awe in his voice.
She glanced over at him and she had no idea how to respond. But she didn't have to because he was already walking into the bedroom and stepping up behind her in her mirror. "Look at you," he whispered. "Have you ever seen anything more beautiful in your entire life?"
His eyes weren't blue. She looked at him, as unbelievably dashing as he was in his tux, and, yet, his eyes weren't blue. It didn't look right. It didn't feel right. And as she glanced down at the vanity again, a visual of how Taylor probably looked in his tux tonight, she looked back up in the mirror and that was when she knew. Somehow, what should have been and what WAS had been horribly mistaken...
Isaac reached around her and opened a black, velvet box in front of her face. Inside, were the most gorgeous pair of diamond earrings she had ever laid eyes on. "These will look perfect on you," he whispered as he kissed her cheek. "Everything is perfect on you."
"Ike, I can't," she finally choked out. "I can't do it."
In the mirror, she watched him blink at her and then he retracted the jewelry hesitantly. "Um, well--I mean, I knew I was taking a risk with these--"
"No," she said, turning around to look at him. "No, I mean I can't go tonight. I can't--I can't go with you...I can't go anywhere with you..."
He snapped the box shut and he stepped backward as if she'd hit him. She saw it flash across his eyes and that's when she knew that he knew. He'd known it all along. "What are you talking about?"
She opened her mouth to speak and her heart pounded. She almost couldn't say it. She wanted to throw up. So, finally, she forced it out of her mouth. "I'm in love with Taylor."
He took a couple more steps back and he stared at her, stunned. "Are you serious?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I--it came as a shock to me, too. I'm just--I'm so sorry, Ike--"
He was livid. She could see his face turning several shades of red and she had to admit, she was nervous. She didn't know what to expect from him. "Have you been seeing each other?"
She shook her head rapidly. "No," she assured him. "We're just friends, he--he doesn't even know..."
"How long has this been going on?" He asked, the volume of his voice growing increasingly louder. "How long have you been stringing me along, Winn?"
"Stringing you along? You said I wasn't--"
"Are you sleeping with him, too? Is that what--?" Then his eyes widened at the realization. "Holy shit, Winn. The fights. The fights you keep having with him. The ones you run to me for, you're--you're sleeping with him, aren't you?"
Her eyes widened. "It was just--it was just the one time..." She decided to leave Christmas out of it. She'd done enough damage already.
His face darkened, along with his voice. "What ONE time?"
Her eyes dropped in shame. "Oklahoma City--"
"WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"
"You stood me up!"
"SO YOU FUCKED MY BROTHER?"
"We were drunk, it was an accident--"
"Sex is NOT an accident, Winn. It is NOT AN ACCIDENT!"
Tears sprang to her eyes. "Ike, I'm sorry..."
"No," he said, out of breath with rage. "There is no 'I'm sorry' here. I can't believe you. All this time--all this time you claimed to care about me. All this time you--you slept in my bed and you--you told me things and you--you lied, Winn! Just like all of them, you lied! You never cared about me! You never gave a SHIT about me!"
"That's not true--"
"How can it not be true? How can you--how can you spend all those nights in MY bed and be in love with HIM? You should have ended it a long time ago! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET ME FUCKING FALL FOR YOU!"
"I DIDN'T KNOW BACK THEN!" She said loudly through the oncoming of her tears. "I DIDN'T REALIZE IT! I didn't--I didn't know...nothing I said to you was a lie, you have to believe me. I meant--I mean, I thought I felt--I do care about you, Ike. I DO care--"
"LIAR! How dare you? How long were you going to let this go on?"
"I just figured it all out right before you walked in the door--"
"I can't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth. Not a single goddamn one. I'll never trust you again for as long as I live. I thought you were different, Winn. I thought you were special--"
"I'm so sorry..."
"I feel like a fool. I feel like--why the fuck am I even still standing here? All this time I've spent with you, all these months--it's all been a fucking waste. Thanks for nothing, Winn. THANKS FOR NOTHING!"
With that, he turned around and he stormed out of her house. Out the door. Into his Escalade. And she heard his tires squeal as he left her driveway and sped down the street.
Winn couldn't breathe. She couldn't get herself out of her dress fast enough and she couldn't breathe. She had no idea what to do now, as she burst into sobs. She was a horrible person. She had turned into the person Isaac was when she met him. He felt like she played him and now she wondered if she had. He was hurt. In so much pain, she could see it all over him and hear it in his voice. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve the hurt. Her mother had been right to scold her. She was a horrible, terrible person.
And now she was alone. And as she collapsed onto her bed in a fit of gut-wrenching sobs, she knew she deserved every bit of it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Zac looked at the time on his cell phone as he and Taylor stood outside the depot in the freezing night air. The party had already started, with guests still crowding the door as they were arriving, and it was nearing time for the three brothers to make their entrance. Kate had gone to the restroom and Zac was starting to feel the chill through the multiple layers of the penguin suit he'd been roped into wearing. "I sure wish he'd hurry the hell up," he muttered to Taylor as they stood next to the building. "He doesn't need to be fashionably late."
"I'd be happy if he just didn't show at all," Taylor muttered back.
Zac sighed. Isaac was bringing Winn. It was no secret. And the tension was still high, even at the notion of her appearance tonight. He shuddered to think what the party would be like once Isaac actually arrived with her.
No sooner had Zac gotten it out of his mouth when Isaac's Escalade squealed into their reserved parking area. "Finally," he said. He watched Isaac get out of the vehicle and walk swiftly across the parking lot toward them.
Without Winn.
Shit, he wasn't speeding toward them because he was late.
He was storming them.
Zac didn't get long to see the look on Isaac's face, but what he did see scared the shit out of him. He had never seen rage quite like this on Isaac before in his life.
It was almost a blur. Isaac didn't bother to acknowledge either of them. Instead, he bee-lined straight for Taylor and delivered a right hook across his face that sent him stumbling into the brick wall behind him.
Instantly, Zac reacted, the shock of the act not quite having time to take him over yet. "Holy shit!" He grabbed Isaac by the arm and jerked him backward, placing himself between his two older brothers. As Taylor held the side of his face and straightened himself up, Zac spoke for him. "What the fuck was that?"
Ignoring Zac, Isaac directed his rage at Taylor once more. "How could you do that to me? You're my brother!"
"Goddammit, Ike, what the hell are you talking about?" Taylor mumbled.
Isaac's breathing was heavy and he broke a sweat despite the night air as the anger built up inside him. Zac thought he saw hurt flash across his eyes but that was obviously an emotion he was trying to keep in. "You slept with her! YOU SLEPT WITH WINN!"
Zac's eyes widened and he jerked his head around at Taylor. Part of him wanted to congratulate him. The rest of him was completely surprised at this news. "Is that true?" He asked him.
Taylor's expression was a permanent glare as his eyes darted between Zac and Isaac. "Once," he said, his voice flat and monotone. "It was an accident. We were very drunk."
"That doesn't excuse it!"
Zac was so thoroughly confused. "Was this recent?"
"No," Isaac answered in a condescending tone. "It was back when he went with her to that Christmas party..."
Zac narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. "The one you were supposed to go to?"
"Yeah. The one Taylor apparently just horned right in on and fucking took advantage of."
Zac looked at Taylor who was visibly livid. "YOU LEFT HER! You stood her up! She waited for you! She waited for you, outside in the cold for over an hour! Had I not happened to be here that day, who KNOWS how long she would have waited for you?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Zac said, his own annoyance starting to surface as he took a step further in between his two brothers and looked at Ike. "You hit him for THAT?"
"HE FUCKED MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"She's not your girlfriend," Taylor sneered. "She never was."
"Did you not stand her up because you were sleeping with another woman that night?" Zac asked all of a sudden. He immediately regretted putting himself in the middle like that, but he couldn't watch his brothers get into a physical altercation over something like this, either. But yet he continued. "Yeah, the girl has mutual friends with Kate. Kate got an earful and then so did I. I didn't wanna say anything about it cause it was none of my business, but..."
The blood drained from Isaac's face and he fell silent. Suddenly, Zac felt the blow to his back as Taylor had attempted to barrel through him to get to Isaac. "YOU FUCKING PRICK! YOU LIED TO HER! YOU TOLD HER IT WAS COLD FEET! AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU WERE FUCKING ANOTHER WOMAN?"
"What the fuck did you expect me to do?" Isaac spat. "She wasn't giving it up."
Taylor nearly knocked Zac over. Had Zac not recovered as quickly as he did, he suspected Isaac would have ended up in the hospital in that very moment. Taylor was nearly maniacal at that point, his face was blood red and his hands were shaking so badly that Zac was almost concerned for his health.
In turn, Zac was shocked at Isaac's sudden change in demeanor. Why was he back-pedaling like this all of a sudden? Was this a defense mechanism? Then he looked at Taylor, surprise washing over him even more. Taylor had grown quiet, the corners of his mouth turning up. The look in his eyes was so sinister it almost scared him.
"It amuses me how it took you almost a month to get a piece," Taylor said, his eyes boring into Isaac's as he wiped the blood from his lip. "I got it on the first try. It took nothing. She didn't question it. She didn't hesitate. She wanted it and I gave it to her. And judging by the way she called my name, she loved every minute of it." He paused and smiled, shaking his head at the memory. "God, she was so tight. I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself. Best lay I ever had."
Zac was nearly appalled at Taylor's choice of words. How could he do that? How could he stand there and say such horrible things in regards to a woman Zac knew he loved? Was his anger really getting the best of him?
Zac didn't have time to react before Isaac had shoved him aside and grabbed Taylor by the collar and slammed him up against the building. Zac grabbed Isaac by the arm to pull him off of him but Isaac wasn't having it. "I already had one of you take something that belonged to me," he said in Taylor's face through gritted teeth. "I will NOT let you take HER away! I don't care HOW much she thinks she's in love with you, I loved her first. I LOVED HER and you fucked it up for me! Well, not this time, goddammit. NOT this time!"
The dynamic on the sidewalk changed all of a sudden, and Isaac allowed Zac to pull him off of Taylor. Taylor blinked at Isaac for a second before his eyes darkened again. "Loved? It's past tense already? You wouldn't know love if it slapped you in the face. You're not capable of it."
"That's not true..."
"You're right. It's not. The only person you're capable of loving is yourself."
"All I want is a chance," Isaac said. "I deserve at least that much."
"Ike," Zac said gently. "It's over."
Isaac looked at Zac and, for the first time in years, Zac could see the pain in his eyes. "It's not over," Isaac objected. "It's not. I just--I need to talk to her. I need to tell her--"
"Ike," Zac repeated. "No. It's not going to happen with her. You already said it. You--you already told him."
Isaac looked across at Taylor, who stared back at him. The anger was starting to melt away and the realization was starting to kick in. Apparently this was news to him and he was just beginning to register what Isaac had let slip earlier. "Did you say she's--?"
Isaac sighed and waved his hand in the air as he turned to walk away. "This is bullshit. I can't stay here for this."
"Where are you going?" Zac called after him.
"Who gives a shit?" He mumbled as he walked away. "Anywhere but here."
Zac and Taylor watched Isaac get back in his Escalade and leave the parking lot. He had left. He had left the party they were hosting. This was just great.
Then Zac turned and looked at Taylor as Taylor stared back at him in shock. Zac reached into Taylor's jacket pocket and pulled out the handkerchief that occupied it and handed it to him to clean his busted lip. Then he sighed and nodded toward the parking lot. "Just go. I'll--I'll clean it all up here."
"Thanks," Taylor said as he sped to his truck.
Zac sighed and he turned around to face the crowd that had tripled in size around them. Great. Wasn't this a pretty picture?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Taylor held the handkerchief to his lip for half the drive to Winn's house. He should probably ice it, but there was no time for that now. He had to go to her. He HAD to know...
He bounded up the steps and onto her porch and pounded on her door. "Winn!" He yelled, his voice echoing into the night air. "Winn, open the door!"
She opened the door slowly and she peeked around it. He'd never seen anything more beautiful in his life, as her hair was still in the up-do she had obviously had prepared for the party, her eye makeup was smeared across the sides of her eyes from the tears she cried, and her body wore a ratty t-shirt and pajama pants. A normal person would say she looked a mess, but to Taylor, she was absolute perfection.
The blood drained from her face and her eyes widened as she opened the door and he stepped inside the doorway. "Tay, what happened to you?"
"Is it true? Tell me it's true."
"Uh--um..."
"Tell me. Tell me my brother hit me because what you told him is true."
Her hand reached for his lip and her jaw dropped in shock. "He hit you?" She squeaked out.
He jerked his face away from her hand. "I'm fine, that's not the point. Winn, say it. Once and for all, just--just SAY it."
She shook her head. "This isn't right. I can't. I can't--he hit you, Tay--"
"I'll get over it."
"I broke his heart. You should have seen him. I did to him exactly what...I did to him exactly what turned him into...into what he's known for and I'm no better than--than any of them. Tay, I--I hurt him..."
"But you can't help how you feel, Winn--"
"No. No, I can't do this. He hit you. And you haven't been getting along and--oh my god. Oh my god, Tay, am I the reason you two have been fighting?"
Taylor couldn't answer her. He tried to dodge the question. "None of that matters now--"
"Yes, it does. I can't do it, I can't--I can't come between you and your brother. And I won't. I won't do it, I won't come between you and I won't interfere with the band--"
"Who said anything about the band--?"
"It's a packaged deal, Tay. You know it is."
"Winn, please. Please don't do this. I need you--"
"You need your brother more."
"Just say it," he plead anxiously. "Please. I'm begging you, just say it."
"It's not right--"
"It couldn't BE more right!"
She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I won't come between you and your brother. I'm sorry." She stepped back and she placed her hand on the door. "I need to be alone now."
"Please don't do this. Don't shut me out. Let me stay, Winn. Please let me stay."
She shook her head again, tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry."
His own voice cracked and he didn't care. "Don't let me go."
She sniffed and her eyes fell as she closed the door on him. "Goodnight, Tay."
And then she closed the door. And he stood in place on her porch, a picture of devastation and shock. He thought the day it all finally came to light would be the happiest day of his life. He didn't expect it to be the worst. Taylor had never felt so lost in his entire life.
What the hell was he supposed to do now?
As expected, Winn never heard from Taylor. He never called. He never texted. He never showed his face across the street at the studio. She was just getting used to the idea of the possibility of her and Isaac becoming an item when she walked out of work after dark Tuesday night and found Taylor leaning against her car in his coat and his scarf with his hands shoved in his pockets.
At first, Winn was startled by his presence. Then she was upset. "Fancy meeting you here."
"You hate me. I get it."
"Well, I try not to associate with hardened criminals." She also tried not to look into the beautiful blue eyes that stared at her with startling intensity.
"Come on, Winn, it was just a traffic violation--"
"What about before that? Huh? Where's THAT excuse?"
"I am SO sorry--"
"You know, Tay, I'm just...SO MAD at you! Do you have any idea how--how cheap and used and--and ANGRY I feel? Do you?"
"I never meant to make you feel that way--"
"Well, you did. And that's unacceptable. And--and why are you even here? You made such a huge effort to run away and then hang up on me the other night--"
"Because I needed to see you. Because I miss you--"
"Well, you're too late."
"I know."
"It's one thing to get a little freaked out. But for you to react the way you did, for you to just--just shatter my heart the way you did--"
"Your heart?"
She got quiet for a moment as she looked at him. "You broke my heart. You made love to me and then you broke my heart. And that's unacceptable to me."
"Winn, what are you saying?"
Her voice caught in her throat and then she stood her ground. "I have a nail appointment that I'm about to be late for."
Taylor shifted his weight, annoyed. "What, so you can be Ike's arm candy tomorrow night?"
"I'm his date tomorrow night, yes," she replied defiantly.
"Don't go with him."
"I WANT to go with him. Because he is kind and he is good and you know what the best part is? He doesn't leave! He doesn't pull stupid stunts like hang up in mid conversation or disappear or land in jail. Ike cares about me, Tay! Which is more than I can say for you. What gives you the right to make such demands in the first place?"
"Winn, please--"
"Please let me get in my car. I have to get to my appointment."
He moved out of her way enough for her to open her door. As she prepared to get in, he closed in on her. "We need to talk," he said quietly.
"No, we really don't. Your behavior these past few days has told me everything I needed to know."
"About what?"
She stared at him for a moment. "I'm late, I have to go."
Before she knew it, his lips closed over hers unexpectedly. And uninvited. And much to her horror, she melted into him instantly, finding herself desperate for his kiss and losing herself in his embrace.
And then reality hit her. She suddenly broke their kiss and shoved him backward, sending him stumbling from the force of it. "NO! No, you stay away from me! You can't do that!"
"Winn, stop this. You felt it then and you feel it now."
"I feel nothing! I feel--I feel like you can't just--you can't just appear out of the blue and think that everything is going to be okay. Because it's not! It's NOT okay!"
"I'm trying to make it okay--"
"It's not going to work. I have a plan. This is not--it's not in my plan--"
"Oh, please, you don't have the first plan for anything."
"Well, I do now," she said, her face hardening. "And they don't include you."
She could see in his face that she'd shattered him and she swallowed hard to force down the tears she was tired of crying. "You don't mean that..."
She took a deep breath and lifted her chin confidently. "I'm late for my appointment. Please excuse me."
Without another word, he stepped backward and he stared at her. And then he turned on his heel and walked swiftly across the street. Winn bawled all the way to the nail salon.
******************
The next day was Wednesday. New Year's Eve. The last day of the month, the last day of the year. Winn made it a point to throw herself into her work. She sort of didn't have a choice. They had to struggle to get the payments in to make her monthly standard goals and at the start of the morning, it wasn't looking good. She didn't even take a lunch break and by the time seven that night rolled around, she was spent. She'd had enough.
She held her head in her hands as Tina finished up the deposit. "A half a percent," she muttered. "We're going to close out with a half a percent to make delinquency."
"We had a good month otherwise," Steph said, trying to reason with her. "We're up in loan volume, that's an improvement from last month."
"We shouldn't have missed it last month," Winn snapped. "It was growth season." Then she sighed and she looked around her office. "But we made a valiant effort. We did work hard this month and I do appreciate all three of you for it. I saw good teamwork in here. If we keep it up just like this, next month should be a breeze. Everybody agreed?"
Half an hour later, admitting defeat and heading home, Winn wasted no time popping a few bites of whatever was in her kitchen in her mouth and getting in the shower. She was expecting Isaac by nine and that barely left her enough time to get ready.
She sped through her shower so that she could wrestle her hair with the blow dryer. Half an hour later, she had put her makeup on her face and shimmied into what was probably the most beautiful dress she'd ever owned. The charge on her credit card made her stomach churn, but looking in the mirror made it all worth it. It was simple and black, one-shouldered, cinched at the waist, with a slim, chiffon skirt that reached the floor. She wore basic black platform pumps underneath and she was at the vanity in the bedroom, pinning her hair up, knowing Isaac would be there any second now, and breathing a sigh of relief that she'd managed to be ready just in time.
As she grew frustrated with a strand of hair that wouldn't seem to stay in place, she dropped her hair pin and proceeded to look for it on her crowded vanity. Suddenly, something caught her eye and she paused to pull the corner out from underneath a few random items.
Her heart stopped and her breath caught as she forgot about the picture she held in her hand. How long had it been on the vanity?
Taylor had gone camera-crazy on Thanksgiving, just like he always did with any function. His camera practically stayed glued to him. Winn remembered this moment vividly. He'd asked Mac to take their picture on a random whim as they stood in the kitchen before dinner. The whole thing only took a few seconds. They'd smiled and Mac took the picture and then it was over. But the picture...the picture, as simple as it was, captured everything that they were. Everything they had stood for. They were smiling and they were happy and they were comfortable. Winn was so happy when she was with Taylor. He felt safe. And secure. And warm. Taylor felt like home.
She looked from the picture and into the mirror at herself. Blue eyes. Blue eyes haunted her dreams night after night. In the back of her mind, she'd always suspected the meaning, but she chose to live in denial. Because it couldn't be. He was her best friend. He was her soul mate...
She covered her mouth and she gasped. How had she not realized it? How could she have been so blind? He brought her coffee. He stole mistletoe to remember a party he'd invited himself to so she wouldn't have to be alone. He made sure she wasn't alone on Thanksgiving, on Christmas...he flew her parents in because he knew she missed them. He fought with her and he ran because he thought...he thought she didn't...oh god, where had she gone wrong? Where was the turn into left field that sent everything spiraling out of control?
She was contemplating this frantically when she heard Isaac in her bedroom doorway. She hadn't heard him come into the house. "You look absolutely stunning," he said, awe in his voice.
She glanced over at him and she had no idea how to respond. But she didn't have to because he was already walking into the bedroom and stepping up behind her in her mirror. "Look at you," he whispered. "Have you ever seen anything more beautiful in your entire life?"
His eyes weren't blue. She looked at him, as unbelievably dashing as he was in his tux, and, yet, his eyes weren't blue. It didn't look right. It didn't feel right. And as she glanced down at the vanity again, a visual of how Taylor probably looked in his tux tonight, she looked back up in the mirror and that was when she knew. Somehow, what should have been and what WAS had been horribly mistaken...
Isaac reached around her and opened a black, velvet box in front of her face. Inside, were the most gorgeous pair of diamond earrings she had ever laid eyes on. "These will look perfect on you," he whispered as he kissed her cheek. "Everything is perfect on you."
"Ike, I can't," she finally choked out. "I can't do it."
In the mirror, she watched him blink at her and then he retracted the jewelry hesitantly. "Um, well--I mean, I knew I was taking a risk with these--"
"No," she said, turning around to look at him. "No, I mean I can't go tonight. I can't--I can't go with you...I can't go anywhere with you..."
He snapped the box shut and he stepped backward as if she'd hit him. She saw it flash across his eyes and that's when she knew that he knew. He'd known it all along. "What are you talking about?"
She opened her mouth to speak and her heart pounded. She almost couldn't say it. She wanted to throw up. So, finally, she forced it out of her mouth. "I'm in love with Taylor."
He took a couple more steps back and he stared at her, stunned. "Are you serious?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I--it came as a shock to me, too. I'm just--I'm so sorry, Ike--"
He was livid. She could see his face turning several shades of red and she had to admit, she was nervous. She didn't know what to expect from him. "Have you been seeing each other?"
She shook her head rapidly. "No," she assured him. "We're just friends, he--he doesn't even know..."
"How long has this been going on?" He asked, the volume of his voice growing increasingly louder. "How long have you been stringing me along, Winn?"
"Stringing you along? You said I wasn't--"
"Are you sleeping with him, too? Is that what--?" Then his eyes widened at the realization. "Holy shit, Winn. The fights. The fights you keep having with him. The ones you run to me for, you're--you're sleeping with him, aren't you?"
Her eyes widened. "It was just--it was just the one time..." She decided to leave Christmas out of it. She'd done enough damage already.
His face darkened, along with his voice. "What ONE time?"
Her eyes dropped in shame. "Oklahoma City--"
"WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"
"You stood me up!"
"SO YOU FUCKED MY BROTHER?"
"We were drunk, it was an accident--"
"Sex is NOT an accident, Winn. It is NOT AN ACCIDENT!"
Tears sprang to her eyes. "Ike, I'm sorry..."
"No," he said, out of breath with rage. "There is no 'I'm sorry' here. I can't believe you. All this time--all this time you claimed to care about me. All this time you--you slept in my bed and you--you told me things and you--you lied, Winn! Just like all of them, you lied! You never cared about me! You never gave a SHIT about me!"
"That's not true--"
"How can it not be true? How can you--how can you spend all those nights in MY bed and be in love with HIM? You should have ended it a long time ago! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET ME FUCKING FALL FOR YOU!"
"I DIDN'T KNOW BACK THEN!" She said loudly through the oncoming of her tears. "I DIDN'T REALIZE IT! I didn't--I didn't know...nothing I said to you was a lie, you have to believe me. I meant--I mean, I thought I felt--I do care about you, Ike. I DO care--"
"LIAR! How dare you? How long were you going to let this go on?"
"I just figured it all out right before you walked in the door--"
"I can't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth. Not a single goddamn one. I'll never trust you again for as long as I live. I thought you were different, Winn. I thought you were special--"
"I'm so sorry..."
"I feel like a fool. I feel like--why the fuck am I even still standing here? All this time I've spent with you, all these months--it's all been a fucking waste. Thanks for nothing, Winn. THANKS FOR NOTHING!"
With that, he turned around and he stormed out of her house. Out the door. Into his Escalade. And she heard his tires squeal as he left her driveway and sped down the street.
Winn couldn't breathe. She couldn't get herself out of her dress fast enough and she couldn't breathe. She had no idea what to do now, as she burst into sobs. She was a horrible person. She had turned into the person Isaac was when she met him. He felt like she played him and now she wondered if she had. He was hurt. In so much pain, she could see it all over him and hear it in his voice. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve the hurt. Her mother had been right to scold her. She was a horrible, terrible person.
And now she was alone. And as she collapsed onto her bed in a fit of gut-wrenching sobs, she knew she deserved every bit of it.
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Zac looked at the time on his cell phone as he and Taylor stood outside the depot in the freezing night air. The party had already started, with guests still crowding the door as they were arriving, and it was nearing time for the three brothers to make their entrance. Kate had gone to the restroom and Zac was starting to feel the chill through the multiple layers of the penguin suit he'd been roped into wearing. "I sure wish he'd hurry the hell up," he muttered to Taylor as they stood next to the building. "He doesn't need to be fashionably late."
"I'd be happy if he just didn't show at all," Taylor muttered back.
Zac sighed. Isaac was bringing Winn. It was no secret. And the tension was still high, even at the notion of her appearance tonight. He shuddered to think what the party would be like once Isaac actually arrived with her.
No sooner had Zac gotten it out of his mouth when Isaac's Escalade squealed into their reserved parking area. "Finally," he said. He watched Isaac get out of the vehicle and walk swiftly across the parking lot toward them.
Without Winn.
Shit, he wasn't speeding toward them because he was late.
He was storming them.
Zac didn't get long to see the look on Isaac's face, but what he did see scared the shit out of him. He had never seen rage quite like this on Isaac before in his life.
It was almost a blur. Isaac didn't bother to acknowledge either of them. Instead, he bee-lined straight for Taylor and delivered a right hook across his face that sent him stumbling into the brick wall behind him.
Instantly, Zac reacted, the shock of the act not quite having time to take him over yet. "Holy shit!" He grabbed Isaac by the arm and jerked him backward, placing himself between his two older brothers. As Taylor held the side of his face and straightened himself up, Zac spoke for him. "What the fuck was that?"
Ignoring Zac, Isaac directed his rage at Taylor once more. "How could you do that to me? You're my brother!"
"Goddammit, Ike, what the hell are you talking about?" Taylor mumbled.
Isaac's breathing was heavy and he broke a sweat despite the night air as the anger built up inside him. Zac thought he saw hurt flash across his eyes but that was obviously an emotion he was trying to keep in. "You slept with her! YOU SLEPT WITH WINN!"
Zac's eyes widened and he jerked his head around at Taylor. Part of him wanted to congratulate him. The rest of him was completely surprised at this news. "Is that true?" He asked him.
Taylor's expression was a permanent glare as his eyes darted between Zac and Isaac. "Once," he said, his voice flat and monotone. "It was an accident. We were very drunk."
"That doesn't excuse it!"
Zac was so thoroughly confused. "Was this recent?"
"No," Isaac answered in a condescending tone. "It was back when he went with her to that Christmas party..."
Zac narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. "The one you were supposed to go to?"
"Yeah. The one Taylor apparently just horned right in on and fucking took advantage of."
Zac looked at Taylor who was visibly livid. "YOU LEFT HER! You stood her up! She waited for you! She waited for you, outside in the cold for over an hour! Had I not happened to be here that day, who KNOWS how long she would have waited for you?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Zac said, his own annoyance starting to surface as he took a step further in between his two brothers and looked at Ike. "You hit him for THAT?"
"HE FUCKED MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"She's not your girlfriend," Taylor sneered. "She never was."
"Did you not stand her up because you were sleeping with another woman that night?" Zac asked all of a sudden. He immediately regretted putting himself in the middle like that, but he couldn't watch his brothers get into a physical altercation over something like this, either. But yet he continued. "Yeah, the girl has mutual friends with Kate. Kate got an earful and then so did I. I didn't wanna say anything about it cause it was none of my business, but..."
The blood drained from Isaac's face and he fell silent. Suddenly, Zac felt the blow to his back as Taylor had attempted to barrel through him to get to Isaac. "YOU FUCKING PRICK! YOU LIED TO HER! YOU TOLD HER IT WAS COLD FEET! AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU WERE FUCKING ANOTHER WOMAN?"
"What the fuck did you expect me to do?" Isaac spat. "She wasn't giving it up."
Taylor nearly knocked Zac over. Had Zac not recovered as quickly as he did, he suspected Isaac would have ended up in the hospital in that very moment. Taylor was nearly maniacal at that point, his face was blood red and his hands were shaking so badly that Zac was almost concerned for his health.
In turn, Zac was shocked at Isaac's sudden change in demeanor. Why was he back-pedaling like this all of a sudden? Was this a defense mechanism? Then he looked at Taylor, surprise washing over him even more. Taylor had grown quiet, the corners of his mouth turning up. The look in his eyes was so sinister it almost scared him.
"It amuses me how it took you almost a month to get a piece," Taylor said, his eyes boring into Isaac's as he wiped the blood from his lip. "I got it on the first try. It took nothing. She didn't question it. She didn't hesitate. She wanted it and I gave it to her. And judging by the way she called my name, she loved every minute of it." He paused and smiled, shaking his head at the memory. "God, she was so tight. I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself. Best lay I ever had."
Zac was nearly appalled at Taylor's choice of words. How could he do that? How could he stand there and say such horrible things in regards to a woman Zac knew he loved? Was his anger really getting the best of him?
Zac didn't have time to react before Isaac had shoved him aside and grabbed Taylor by the collar and slammed him up against the building. Zac grabbed Isaac by the arm to pull him off of him but Isaac wasn't having it. "I already had one of you take something that belonged to me," he said in Taylor's face through gritted teeth. "I will NOT let you take HER away! I don't care HOW much she thinks she's in love with you, I loved her first. I LOVED HER and you fucked it up for me! Well, not this time, goddammit. NOT this time!"
The dynamic on the sidewalk changed all of a sudden, and Isaac allowed Zac to pull him off of Taylor. Taylor blinked at Isaac for a second before his eyes darkened again. "Loved? It's past tense already? You wouldn't know love if it slapped you in the face. You're not capable of it."
"That's not true..."
"You're right. It's not. The only person you're capable of loving is yourself."
"All I want is a chance," Isaac said. "I deserve at least that much."
"Ike," Zac said gently. "It's over."
Isaac looked at Zac and, for the first time in years, Zac could see the pain in his eyes. "It's not over," Isaac objected. "It's not. I just--I need to talk to her. I need to tell her--"
"Ike," Zac repeated. "No. It's not going to happen with her. You already said it. You--you already told him."
Isaac looked across at Taylor, who stared back at him. The anger was starting to melt away and the realization was starting to kick in. Apparently this was news to him and he was just beginning to register what Isaac had let slip earlier. "Did you say she's--?"
Isaac sighed and waved his hand in the air as he turned to walk away. "This is bullshit. I can't stay here for this."
"Where are you going?" Zac called after him.
"Who gives a shit?" He mumbled as he walked away. "Anywhere but here."
Zac and Taylor watched Isaac get back in his Escalade and leave the parking lot. He had left. He had left the party they were hosting. This was just great.
Then Zac turned and looked at Taylor as Taylor stared back at him in shock. Zac reached into Taylor's jacket pocket and pulled out the handkerchief that occupied it and handed it to him to clean his busted lip. Then he sighed and nodded toward the parking lot. "Just go. I'll--I'll clean it all up here."
"Thanks," Taylor said as he sped to his truck.
Zac sighed and he turned around to face the crowd that had tripled in size around them. Great. Wasn't this a pretty picture?
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Taylor held the handkerchief to his lip for half the drive to Winn's house. He should probably ice it, but there was no time for that now. He had to go to her. He HAD to know...
He bounded up the steps and onto her porch and pounded on her door. "Winn!" He yelled, his voice echoing into the night air. "Winn, open the door!"
She opened the door slowly and she peeked around it. He'd never seen anything more beautiful in his life, as her hair was still in the up-do she had obviously had prepared for the party, her eye makeup was smeared across the sides of her eyes from the tears she cried, and her body wore a ratty t-shirt and pajama pants. A normal person would say she looked a mess, but to Taylor, she was absolute perfection.
The blood drained from her face and her eyes widened as she opened the door and he stepped inside the doorway. "Tay, what happened to you?"
"Is it true? Tell me it's true."
"Uh--um..."
"Tell me. Tell me my brother hit me because what you told him is true."
Her hand reached for his lip and her jaw dropped in shock. "He hit you?" She squeaked out.
He jerked his face away from her hand. "I'm fine, that's not the point. Winn, say it. Once and for all, just--just SAY it."
She shook her head. "This isn't right. I can't. I can't--he hit you, Tay--"
"I'll get over it."
"I broke his heart. You should have seen him. I did to him exactly what...I did to him exactly what turned him into...into what he's known for and I'm no better than--than any of them. Tay, I--I hurt him..."
"But you can't help how you feel, Winn--"
"No. No, I can't do this. He hit you. And you haven't been getting along and--oh my god. Oh my god, Tay, am I the reason you two have been fighting?"
Taylor couldn't answer her. He tried to dodge the question. "None of that matters now--"
"Yes, it does. I can't do it, I can't--I can't come between you and your brother. And I won't. I won't do it, I won't come between you and I won't interfere with the band--"
"Who said anything about the band--?"
"It's a packaged deal, Tay. You know it is."
"Winn, please. Please don't do this. I need you--"
"You need your brother more."
"Just say it," he plead anxiously. "Please. I'm begging you, just say it."
"It's not right--"
"It couldn't BE more right!"
She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I won't come between you and your brother. I'm sorry." She stepped back and she placed her hand on the door. "I need to be alone now."
"Please don't do this. Don't shut me out. Let me stay, Winn. Please let me stay."
She shook her head again, tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry."
His own voice cracked and he didn't care. "Don't let me go."
She sniffed and her eyes fell as she closed the door on him. "Goodnight, Tay."
And then she closed the door. And he stood in place on her porch, a picture of devastation and shock. He thought the day it all finally came to light would be the happiest day of his life. He didn't expect it to be the worst. Taylor had never felt so lost in his entire life.
What the hell was he supposed to do now?