WHEN THEY HEAR THE RECKONING IS COMING
Thursday was New Year's Day. New Year's Day was more or less the universal sign for the world to take a break. Nothing was open. Nobody worked. Everybody took a break and came back to work on Friday.
And go to work, they did. If Zac could have gotten Isaac and Taylor into the studio at the crack of dawn, he would have. But the earliest he could get everyone together was nine in the morning. And by everyone, that meant EVERYONE. Everything was coming to a head so fast--Taylor's arrest was starting to blow up, and now the fight on New Year's Eve and in the midst of it all, they had a tour to promote. So now they sat at the conference table with their publicist, their attorney, and their managers, and Zac was fuming. And he had the floor, no holds barred.
He leaned against the edge of the conference table, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked at his older brothers. Both looked liked they'd been ridden wet and hug out to dry. He couldn't have cared less.
"I wanted to have this little meeting in private," he said. "But recent events have made that impossible. First of all, the party was a bust, in case you didn't know. Or didn't care. Nobody stayed and nobody wants to do business with us because, not only did you make complete asses out of yourselves, but now everyone thinks we're unstable and unreliable. We're the laughing stock of Tulsa right now. And it doesn't even stop in Tulsa, either." He paused and looked at his brothers, who had no response. "And then there's the group's resident thug..."
"Zac," Taylor interrupted. "Just save the dramatics, will you?"
"No. It's the dramatics that got us here in the first place. What we NEED to save is our asses. And this band. You two are pathetic right now and we've worked too long and way too damn hard to throw it all away over some little pissing contest."
Zac grew more and more livid as their publicist went over the media issues they were currently dealing with. Between Taylor's arrest and the fight on New Year's...
"Oh, and then there's Winn," Zac said, interrupting the publicist. "Do you two idiots even realize that her name is all over this shit? Or are you too wrapped up in each other to even care?"
He watched Isaac and Taylor exchange quick, uneasy glances. Zac took advantage of it. "Don't be surprised if she loses her job over this. Before you know it, she's gonna be on the next plane to Abilene, and then what? All of this bullshit would have been for nothing."
"This meeting is bullshit," Isaac said to Zac. "You standing there, what, playing the martyr? That's bullshit. How about we just lay out what we're dealing with, DEAL with it, and then go about our business? I'm done with this."
"Yeah, except it's not that easy," Zac said, sitting down. "Seriously. I mean, what happens now? Yeah, we've fought and had our scuffles over the years and this is certainly not the first time one of us has thrown a punch at the other one. But this time...this time it's different. You two--you've had problems since way before Winn and I really think she's just the straw that broke the camel's back here. You have problems. WE have problems. The BAND has problems. And, honestly, I need to know if we can come together and bounce back this time."
Taylor sighed and he looked over at Isaac and then back at Zac. "Look, we've already got this tour scheduled and we can't get out of it. Why don't we just--just get through the tour and then revisit this when it's over? Can we at least agree on that?"
"Yeah," Isaac mumbled.
Zac shook his head. "You two are unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.."
For the first time in his entire life, Zac dreaded a tour season.
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Winn wasted no time calling a meeting Friday morning. She'd spent all day Thursday staying off of the internet after the multiple texts from Tina, and she'd spent a good portion of the day on the phone with her mother. Now she decided to nip the water cooler talk in the bud before it started.
"I'm sure everyone's aware by now of what's going on. I wasn't present for what happened, I was at home, and the only reason my name is in any news at all is, because, unfortunately, my name...came up. They're not--the band's not--not wildly popular anymore, so I don't expect this to hang around for very long. But for the time being, I was already met by two news stations on my way into work this morning and the newspaper has already called the office. We do not speak to anyone. Anyone at all. You might get phone calls, you might get asked questions, hell, if it gets overly crazy, you might even get offered money in exchange for a story or statement. Nobody speaks to anybody. We got that? And if any customers ask, don't engage in conversation about it. The office does NOT need that kind of attention."
As everyone got to work on their calls, Winn was appalled by the flow of messages from the internal system from other offices in the company. Some from people she didn't even know. One message, though, made her skin crawl and her stomach churn. It was from her supervisor. "My supervisor and I will be in your office Monday morning. Just thought I'd give you a heads up."
Her heart pounded and she broke into a sweat.
*******************
Winn slept all weekend. Or at least she felt like she did. And she didn't even care. She had nobody to talk to. Nobody to see. And she knew the source of her exhaustion had to be all of the drama and all of her mixed emotions all catching up to her at once. She hadn't slept much in the past couple of weeks anyway, and Winn was grateful for the break. She was grateful for the peace and the quiet and the solitude. And the best part was, when she was sleeping, she wasn't missing Taylor.
By Monday morning, Winn thought she was going to be sick. And she almost was when she walked into work. Her nerves were shot. Her supervisor and her supervisor's supervisor, who was the VPO for Oklahoma--the same VPO that Taylor had just recently charmed the pants
off of--were promised to visit her office that morning. And it couldn't be good. Sure, she had missed delinquency by just a smidgen, but she knew in her heart that wasn't what this was about.
By the time the two men walked in the door, Winn was sweating bullets. They greeted Winn, they greeted the staff, and then they wasted no time calling her to the back room. When she stood from her desk, her head spun a little. Jesus, she had to get it together and not let her emotions overrun her like this.
She sat across from the two men at the small conference table that stood in the back room. "So, Winnie," her supervisor said to her. "How are you?"
"I've been better, I'm not gonna lie..."
"Well, I just want you to know, we're not here about the numbers in your office. You missed delinquency, but you've only been here a few months, so we know things will turn around. We have faith in you."
"Thank you," she said solemnly.
"I want you to know that you're not in trouble today," the VPO spoke up. "But we are concerned. I'm concerned. My bosses are concerned. The president of the company is concerned..."
Winn was already ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "To be fair, I wasn't even there."
"I gotta admit, I've never dealt with this kind of thing before," the VPO said. "None of us really have. I mean, we've had an employee or two have a mug shot end up in the paper, but that's about it. We've never--we've never really dealt with celebrity of any type..."
"I'm not a celebrity."
"No, but your friends are. And their little scuffle last week in your honor has caused...well, quite a stir within the company."
"It's small-town news, we know," her supervisor said, trying to soften the blow.
"Small town?" The VPO scoffed. "My daughter showed it to me on at least three major national tabloid websites."
Winn's head collapsed in her hand.
"Anyway," the VPO continued. "My point is, the concern, of course, lies on the company. And how your customers will portray you now. And you, as an employee of this company, are a reflection of it. And the company...well, the company doesn't need your personal life to reflect negatively upon it."
Her eyes widened, helpless. "I wasn't even there that night. I didn't even go to the party..."
"Your friend's recent arrest isn't helping matters wither, Winnie," her supervisor said.
"But--but I wasn't even involved in that. I was nowhere near him when that happened. And I cut my ties with them the night they fought. I haven't even talked to them. I don't associate with them anymore--"
"And I think that's a wise decision," said the VPO. "We knew you had a good head on your shoulders, Winnie. We don't need anything blowing up any more than it already has. But I have to tell you, if this happens again..."
"Then you'll have to let me go..."
"We don't want to. But we have to think about the company at times like this."
Winn nodded solemnly. "I understand. It won't happen again."
The meeting hadn't lasted as long as it felt. But she couldn't help the feeling of impending doom that sat at the pit of her stomach as they walked out the office door. She had just, in not so many words, been threatened with her job. And what if--what if she worked things out with Taylor? What if they were together? Then what? Would she have to choose between him and her job? Was that fair?
Getting through the rest of the day was a struggle. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep.
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Monday morning, during a break from a very tense rehearsal, Zac found Taylor alone at the front of the building, looking out the large, tinted windows. "You okay?" Zac asked gently.
"I just watched her supervisor and her state vice president walk out of the office. What if you're right, Zac? What if--what if Ike and I got so caught up in what we had going on with each other that neither of us stopped and thought about what affect it might have on her? What if she leaves?"
"Are you sure that's who that was?"
"Yeah," he answered, letting out a breath. "I met them at the Christmas party. I'm coming, I won't be much longer. It's almost her lunch break. If she leaves the office, I just--I just want to see her. It's the only way I can."
"We haven't really had a chance to talk since--yanno, since that night. I can only assume things didn't go well..."
Taylor sighed and dropped his head for a second. "Ike crashed and burned and he took me with him. That's pretty much it. She wouldn't even say it. She wouldn't even say the words and then she basically shoved me out the door. I just--I don't know what to do. She's upset because she hurt him. And I get that. But what about me, Zac? What about me?"
"I wish I knew what to say," Zac said quietly. "And I don't want to be an ass, but--but blood and water, man. I'm sorry, but the truth is, we have a tour coming up. And if you and Ike don't get it together, I don't see Hanson lasting much longer."
"It doesn't have to be that way."
"No. It doesn't. But that depends on you and Ike. It all rests on you. There's not much else I can do to keep us together. Maybe--maybe this is a good thing. Maybe some time apart is what everybody needs--"
"That is NOT what I need. I don't NEED to be away from her--"
"But maybe SHE needs to be away from YOU. And maybe YOU can use this time wisely."
Taylor let out a breath. "It's too soon. Ike's still--I mean, we're managing rehearsal, barely, but Ike's still--and I'm no fan of his either, I just--it's gonna take time. And I know that's what she wants, Zac. I know it is. Her big spiel that night was not coming between me and him, but--but he and I can heal over time. I need her now."
"If it's meant to be, it'll be," Zac said. "I wish I could offer you more than that."
As Zac's eye caught Winn coming out of the door of her office across the street, he decided to leave Taylor alone with his own thoughts. The entire situation really was tragic. However something somewhere in their short conversation led him to believe that maybe hope wasn't totally lost after all, and he walked away with a very tiny sense of relief.
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Thursday afternoon, after Winn threw up her lunch, and not feeling much better afterward, she left work sick. She had called her supervisor, who had told her to go straight to the doctor to make sure she didn't have the flu, which had been running rampant lately, and to keep him posted. Winn prayed. She never took sick days because she made sure she never got sick. She supposed she was due for a stomach bug, though, because it had been a couple of years since she'd had one.
She racked her brain to figure out what she'd eaten between last night and today that might cause her to be sick. As she drove to the doctor with her window cracked to let the freezing air inside her car to circulate, she began to feel better. She checked herself for a fever, though, and ruled out food poisoning.
In the doctor's office, she sat in the waiting room and filled out the obligatory paperwork. Hers was extra since this was the first time she'd actually seen a doctor since she moved to Tulsa. Once they called her to the back, it was all the same old routine. Blood pressure, temperature, pee in a cup, prick your finger, answer questions...Winn was bored. She just wanted her medication, or her doctor's note, so she could leave.
Finally, she sat on the exam table in one of the rooms as the doctor asked her all the same questions all over again. She replayed her incident in the bathroom at work and was very frank with him. "Honestly, I didn't even want to come here. And the only reason I came here is to make sure I don't have the flu or anything as equally contagious so that I can go back to work. I don't--I don't GET sick."
"I see," he said, looking over her chart. "So you said your last period was...last month?"
"Yes."
"Which day?"
She racked her brain. She thought she'd written that down already. "Um...the eighteenth."
"The first day?"
"Oh. No," she said, shaking her head to remember. "No, the first day was...the fifteenth. That Monday. Wait, no. It was the fourteenth. It was late that night, the cramps got me out of bed. Yeah, the fourteenth. That was the first day."
"I see," he said again, as he scribbled on the chart. Then he looked up at her and smiled. "Well, you don't have the flu."
Winn smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god!"
"You don't have a stomach bug or poisoning or anything viral. So you can rest easy on that."
"Yes," she said. "Thank you. I can NOT afford to miss any work."
"But congratulations, though. You're pregnant."
Winn's eyes widened and she could have easily fallen off of the exam table. Her heart dropped like a brick into her stomach. "That's impossible," she breathed.
"Nope," the doctor said. "Your test came back positive."
"You tested me for--"
"It's standard procedure, Miss Douglas."
Winn shook her head, not knowing what to do with her shock. "No, I'm telling you, it's impossible. I'm not even due for my period yet, so I haven't even missed one..."
"Well, you would have missed your period, had you not come to me first. I'm surprised you're already throwing up. Most women don't experience that until several weeks in. How have you been feeling lately, Miss Douglas?"
She struggled to think to answer his question. "I don't know. Normal, I guess. I don't know--I've been tired, but I've been under a lot of stress..."
"How about your breasts? Any tenderness, soreness, changing of color...?"
"Well, they're tender, yeah, but I'm due for my period next week so I didn't think anything of it..."
"Any nausea, dizziness...?"
"Oh my god...I should have already known..." She looked up at the doctor. "How far along am I?"
"Couple of weeks."
"This can't be happening..."
The doctor frowned and he looked at her for a moment. "Miss Douglas, this might--this might be unprofessional of me, so forgive me if I offend you, but--you know, you DO have options..."
"No," she said firmly. "I'm not that kind of person. I'll just--I'll deal with it, I just--I just can't believe it..."
"Forgive me for being forward, but...I can provide you with an approximate date of conception...if, you know, if that will mean anything to you..."
Her eyes darted around in thought. And then she looked at him. "When you say 'conception...' "
And then he proceeded to explain it to her. He did the calculations, told her the math, and then gave her the range of possible conception. Winn thought she'd die of a heart attack right in front of the doctor. "Is that...is that accurate? Those dates? Like, one of those days for sure--?"
"Based on your last menstrual cycle and your approximate dates of ovulation, yes. That range is specific. Which would make you..."
"Dead," she whispered. "Oh, this can't be happening...he'll never believe me..."
"Miss Douglas. I can refer you to someone if you need to talk to--"
"No. No, thank you. No need." She took a deep breath and tried hard to focus on herself. "Let's, um, what happens now? What do we do now?"
******************
Half an hour later, Winn sat in her car, her hand shaking as she held her phone in her hand. The first person she dialed was her supervisor. "I just got out of the doctor's office," she said. She wasn't able to hold it together. Her voice cracked instantaneously. "I don't have the flu."
"Great! When are you back at work?"
And then she spit it out. "I don't have the flu because I'm pregnant! He just told me I'm pregnant and I've never been pregnant before and I don't know what to do and I don't want to lose my job--"
"Hold on, hold on, hold on," her supervisor said gently. "First of all, congratulations. A baby is always a wonderful thing. And second of all, you're not going to lose your job. So you'll go on maternity leave for a couple of months, big deal. Just make sure your office is in tip top shape before you go."
"And I'll have doctor's appointments and morning sickness and--"
"Winnie, it's okay. Really. You're not the first woman at First Class Finance to ever have a baby and you're certainly not the first manager. It's okay. The first thing you need to do is to stop freaking out. I'm not a woman, but I am a father, and stressing out like that is not good for the baby."
"It's not even a tadpole yet," she sniffed.
"Well, you should get into these habits early, then. Everything will be fine. Don't worry. Go back to the office, count your drawer, and take the rest of the day off. Tomorrow you come back, rock out an amazing Friday, and then take the weekend to process what's going on. Okay? Better yet, you just go straight home and I'll call Tina and tell her to count your drawer and close you out. Okay? Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I'm happy for you."
Her supervisor's words put her at ease for the moment. Earlier in the week, she'd practically been threatened with her job for the media explosion that New Year's Eve had turned into. And now...now she was pregnant? At the rate she was going, she might as well just resign.
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Saturday, after an extremely tense rehearsal, Taylor went home. His mother had invited both him and Isaac for dinner and once he found out that Isaac had accepted the invite, Taylor backed out. He could smell one of his mother's traps a mile away.
It had been nearly a week and a half since he had spoken to Winn. She'd seemed as if she needed time, so he backed off. Surely after that long she'd had time to sort things out. Or had she intended to never contact him at all?
Taylor couldn't wait anymore. Life was unbearable without her and he only knew who he was when he was with her. Something had to give here. So when he sat on the edge of his bed late that night, he took a deep breath and he called her. His heart leapt for joy when she answered. "Hey," he said gently. "I can't believe you answered."
"Hey," she replied. "I was awake, so..."
"I miss you."
"I miss you, too," she whispered.
"What's happening, Winn? Tell me what's going on. I mean, is it all a lie? Do you not--?"
"I do. I just--"
"Then say it. Please. I just need to hear the words. I need to hear it from you."
"I can't."
"Yes, you can. It's okay, I promise you--"
"It's not okay. It's--it's really NOT okay."
"Then talk to me, Winn. It's just me, you can say anything to me. Tell me what to do. Tell me what you want me to do. I'm--I'm kinda on my knees here."
"Tay, there's--there are some...um...personal issues that I need to deal with. And I need to deal with them alone right now. I just--I need space, I need to clear my mind and regroup. I don't really know where I am right now--"
"But you don't HAVE to deal with it alone--"
"This time I do. This is...this is something that--that can't be fixed."
"Don't leave," he said suddenly, remembering Zac's words.
"What?"
"Don't leave. Don't go back to Texas. Look, I'm sorry that--that your name ended up in the news. I never wanted to hurt you--"
"That's the least of my problems right now."
"I'll fix it. Whatever it is, I'll do it. I'll deal with it, I can fix it. Anything." Taylor was growing desperate. It was unbecoming of him, but he didn't care. "Look, I'm worth more than Ike and Zac combined, with all the projects I've been involved with over the years and all that. There's no problem too big for me. Whatever you need, you have it. It's yours."
"That's--that's not even--it's not like that, I can take care of myself. I just need to be alone for awhile. Okay? And you--you have your own personal issues that need to be taken care of. You and Ike--you gotta work it out with him. He's your brother. And nothing is more important than family. I shouldn't have to tell you that."
Taylor sighed, defeated. There was nothing he could do. All he could do was respect her wishes. And pray that she stuck around. He couldn't be selfish any longer. "I'm here. I just--I'm here. Don't hesitate to call me, I won't hesitate to be there. Okay? Take, uh, take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you," she said quietly.
When Taylor hung up the phone, he was glad tomorrow was Sunday. Because all he wanted to do right now was disappear.
Thursday was New Year's Day. New Year's Day was more or less the universal sign for the world to take a break. Nothing was open. Nobody worked. Everybody took a break and came back to work on Friday.
And go to work, they did. If Zac could have gotten Isaac and Taylor into the studio at the crack of dawn, he would have. But the earliest he could get everyone together was nine in the morning. And by everyone, that meant EVERYONE. Everything was coming to a head so fast--Taylor's arrest was starting to blow up, and now the fight on New Year's Eve and in the midst of it all, they had a tour to promote. So now they sat at the conference table with their publicist, their attorney, and their managers, and Zac was fuming. And he had the floor, no holds barred.
He leaned against the edge of the conference table, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked at his older brothers. Both looked liked they'd been ridden wet and hug out to dry. He couldn't have cared less.
"I wanted to have this little meeting in private," he said. "But recent events have made that impossible. First of all, the party was a bust, in case you didn't know. Or didn't care. Nobody stayed and nobody wants to do business with us because, not only did you make complete asses out of yourselves, but now everyone thinks we're unstable and unreliable. We're the laughing stock of Tulsa right now. And it doesn't even stop in Tulsa, either." He paused and looked at his brothers, who had no response. "And then there's the group's resident thug..."
"Zac," Taylor interrupted. "Just save the dramatics, will you?"
"No. It's the dramatics that got us here in the first place. What we NEED to save is our asses. And this band. You two are pathetic right now and we've worked too long and way too damn hard to throw it all away over some little pissing contest."
Zac grew more and more livid as their publicist went over the media issues they were currently dealing with. Between Taylor's arrest and the fight on New Year's...
"Oh, and then there's Winn," Zac said, interrupting the publicist. "Do you two idiots even realize that her name is all over this shit? Or are you too wrapped up in each other to even care?"
He watched Isaac and Taylor exchange quick, uneasy glances. Zac took advantage of it. "Don't be surprised if she loses her job over this. Before you know it, she's gonna be on the next plane to Abilene, and then what? All of this bullshit would have been for nothing."
"This meeting is bullshit," Isaac said to Zac. "You standing there, what, playing the martyr? That's bullshit. How about we just lay out what we're dealing with, DEAL with it, and then go about our business? I'm done with this."
"Yeah, except it's not that easy," Zac said, sitting down. "Seriously. I mean, what happens now? Yeah, we've fought and had our scuffles over the years and this is certainly not the first time one of us has thrown a punch at the other one. But this time...this time it's different. You two--you've had problems since way before Winn and I really think she's just the straw that broke the camel's back here. You have problems. WE have problems. The BAND has problems. And, honestly, I need to know if we can come together and bounce back this time."
Taylor sighed and he looked over at Isaac and then back at Zac. "Look, we've already got this tour scheduled and we can't get out of it. Why don't we just--just get through the tour and then revisit this when it's over? Can we at least agree on that?"
"Yeah," Isaac mumbled.
Zac shook his head. "You two are unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.."
For the first time in his entire life, Zac dreaded a tour season.
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Winn wasted no time calling a meeting Friday morning. She'd spent all day Thursday staying off of the internet after the multiple texts from Tina, and she'd spent a good portion of the day on the phone with her mother. Now she decided to nip the water cooler talk in the bud before it started.
"I'm sure everyone's aware by now of what's going on. I wasn't present for what happened, I was at home, and the only reason my name is in any news at all is, because, unfortunately, my name...came up. They're not--the band's not--not wildly popular anymore, so I don't expect this to hang around for very long. But for the time being, I was already met by two news stations on my way into work this morning and the newspaper has already called the office. We do not speak to anyone. Anyone at all. You might get phone calls, you might get asked questions, hell, if it gets overly crazy, you might even get offered money in exchange for a story or statement. Nobody speaks to anybody. We got that? And if any customers ask, don't engage in conversation about it. The office does NOT need that kind of attention."
As everyone got to work on their calls, Winn was appalled by the flow of messages from the internal system from other offices in the company. Some from people she didn't even know. One message, though, made her skin crawl and her stomach churn. It was from her supervisor. "My supervisor and I will be in your office Monday morning. Just thought I'd give you a heads up."
Her heart pounded and she broke into a sweat.
*******************
Winn slept all weekend. Or at least she felt like she did. And she didn't even care. She had nobody to talk to. Nobody to see. And she knew the source of her exhaustion had to be all of the drama and all of her mixed emotions all catching up to her at once. She hadn't slept much in the past couple of weeks anyway, and Winn was grateful for the break. She was grateful for the peace and the quiet and the solitude. And the best part was, when she was sleeping, she wasn't missing Taylor.
By Monday morning, Winn thought she was going to be sick. And she almost was when she walked into work. Her nerves were shot. Her supervisor and her supervisor's supervisor, who was the VPO for Oklahoma--the same VPO that Taylor had just recently charmed the pants
off of--were promised to visit her office that morning. And it couldn't be good. Sure, she had missed delinquency by just a smidgen, but she knew in her heart that wasn't what this was about.
By the time the two men walked in the door, Winn was sweating bullets. They greeted Winn, they greeted the staff, and then they wasted no time calling her to the back room. When she stood from her desk, her head spun a little. Jesus, she had to get it together and not let her emotions overrun her like this.
She sat across from the two men at the small conference table that stood in the back room. "So, Winnie," her supervisor said to her. "How are you?"
"I've been better, I'm not gonna lie..."
"Well, I just want you to know, we're not here about the numbers in your office. You missed delinquency, but you've only been here a few months, so we know things will turn around. We have faith in you."
"Thank you," she said solemnly.
"I want you to know that you're not in trouble today," the VPO spoke up. "But we are concerned. I'm concerned. My bosses are concerned. The president of the company is concerned..."
Winn was already ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "To be fair, I wasn't even there."
"I gotta admit, I've never dealt with this kind of thing before," the VPO said. "None of us really have. I mean, we've had an employee or two have a mug shot end up in the paper, but that's about it. We've never--we've never really dealt with celebrity of any type..."
"I'm not a celebrity."
"No, but your friends are. And their little scuffle last week in your honor has caused...well, quite a stir within the company."
"It's small-town news, we know," her supervisor said, trying to soften the blow.
"Small town?" The VPO scoffed. "My daughter showed it to me on at least three major national tabloid websites."
Winn's head collapsed in her hand.
"Anyway," the VPO continued. "My point is, the concern, of course, lies on the company. And how your customers will portray you now. And you, as an employee of this company, are a reflection of it. And the company...well, the company doesn't need your personal life to reflect negatively upon it."
Her eyes widened, helpless. "I wasn't even there that night. I didn't even go to the party..."
"Your friend's recent arrest isn't helping matters wither, Winnie," her supervisor said.
"But--but I wasn't even involved in that. I was nowhere near him when that happened. And I cut my ties with them the night they fought. I haven't even talked to them. I don't associate with them anymore--"
"And I think that's a wise decision," said the VPO. "We knew you had a good head on your shoulders, Winnie. We don't need anything blowing up any more than it already has. But I have to tell you, if this happens again..."
"Then you'll have to let me go..."
"We don't want to. But we have to think about the company at times like this."
Winn nodded solemnly. "I understand. It won't happen again."
The meeting hadn't lasted as long as it felt. But she couldn't help the feeling of impending doom that sat at the pit of her stomach as they walked out the office door. She had just, in not so many words, been threatened with her job. And what if--what if she worked things out with Taylor? What if they were together? Then what? Would she have to choose between him and her job? Was that fair?
Getting through the rest of the day was a struggle. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep.
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Monday morning, during a break from a very tense rehearsal, Zac found Taylor alone at the front of the building, looking out the large, tinted windows. "You okay?" Zac asked gently.
"I just watched her supervisor and her state vice president walk out of the office. What if you're right, Zac? What if--what if Ike and I got so caught up in what we had going on with each other that neither of us stopped and thought about what affect it might have on her? What if she leaves?"
"Are you sure that's who that was?"
"Yeah," he answered, letting out a breath. "I met them at the Christmas party. I'm coming, I won't be much longer. It's almost her lunch break. If she leaves the office, I just--I just want to see her. It's the only way I can."
"We haven't really had a chance to talk since--yanno, since that night. I can only assume things didn't go well..."
Taylor sighed and dropped his head for a second. "Ike crashed and burned and he took me with him. That's pretty much it. She wouldn't even say it. She wouldn't even say the words and then she basically shoved me out the door. I just--I don't know what to do. She's upset because she hurt him. And I get that. But what about me, Zac? What about me?"
"I wish I knew what to say," Zac said quietly. "And I don't want to be an ass, but--but blood and water, man. I'm sorry, but the truth is, we have a tour coming up. And if you and Ike don't get it together, I don't see Hanson lasting much longer."
"It doesn't have to be that way."
"No. It doesn't. But that depends on you and Ike. It all rests on you. There's not much else I can do to keep us together. Maybe--maybe this is a good thing. Maybe some time apart is what everybody needs--"
"That is NOT what I need. I don't NEED to be away from her--"
"But maybe SHE needs to be away from YOU. And maybe YOU can use this time wisely."
Taylor let out a breath. "It's too soon. Ike's still--I mean, we're managing rehearsal, barely, but Ike's still--and I'm no fan of his either, I just--it's gonna take time. And I know that's what she wants, Zac. I know it is. Her big spiel that night was not coming between me and him, but--but he and I can heal over time. I need her now."
"If it's meant to be, it'll be," Zac said. "I wish I could offer you more than that."
As Zac's eye caught Winn coming out of the door of her office across the street, he decided to leave Taylor alone with his own thoughts. The entire situation really was tragic. However something somewhere in their short conversation led him to believe that maybe hope wasn't totally lost after all, and he walked away with a very tiny sense of relief.
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Thursday afternoon, after Winn threw up her lunch, and not feeling much better afterward, she left work sick. She had called her supervisor, who had told her to go straight to the doctor to make sure she didn't have the flu, which had been running rampant lately, and to keep him posted. Winn prayed. She never took sick days because she made sure she never got sick. She supposed she was due for a stomach bug, though, because it had been a couple of years since she'd had one.
She racked her brain to figure out what she'd eaten between last night and today that might cause her to be sick. As she drove to the doctor with her window cracked to let the freezing air inside her car to circulate, she began to feel better. She checked herself for a fever, though, and ruled out food poisoning.
In the doctor's office, she sat in the waiting room and filled out the obligatory paperwork. Hers was extra since this was the first time she'd actually seen a doctor since she moved to Tulsa. Once they called her to the back, it was all the same old routine. Blood pressure, temperature, pee in a cup, prick your finger, answer questions...Winn was bored. She just wanted her medication, or her doctor's note, so she could leave.
Finally, she sat on the exam table in one of the rooms as the doctor asked her all the same questions all over again. She replayed her incident in the bathroom at work and was very frank with him. "Honestly, I didn't even want to come here. And the only reason I came here is to make sure I don't have the flu or anything as equally contagious so that I can go back to work. I don't--I don't GET sick."
"I see," he said, looking over her chart. "So you said your last period was...last month?"
"Yes."
"Which day?"
She racked her brain. She thought she'd written that down already. "Um...the eighteenth."
"The first day?"
"Oh. No," she said, shaking her head to remember. "No, the first day was...the fifteenth. That Monday. Wait, no. It was the fourteenth. It was late that night, the cramps got me out of bed. Yeah, the fourteenth. That was the first day."
"I see," he said again, as he scribbled on the chart. Then he looked up at her and smiled. "Well, you don't have the flu."
Winn smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god!"
"You don't have a stomach bug or poisoning or anything viral. So you can rest easy on that."
"Yes," she said. "Thank you. I can NOT afford to miss any work."
"But congratulations, though. You're pregnant."
Winn's eyes widened and she could have easily fallen off of the exam table. Her heart dropped like a brick into her stomach. "That's impossible," she breathed.
"Nope," the doctor said. "Your test came back positive."
"You tested me for--"
"It's standard procedure, Miss Douglas."
Winn shook her head, not knowing what to do with her shock. "No, I'm telling you, it's impossible. I'm not even due for my period yet, so I haven't even missed one..."
"Well, you would have missed your period, had you not come to me first. I'm surprised you're already throwing up. Most women don't experience that until several weeks in. How have you been feeling lately, Miss Douglas?"
She struggled to think to answer his question. "I don't know. Normal, I guess. I don't know--I've been tired, but I've been under a lot of stress..."
"How about your breasts? Any tenderness, soreness, changing of color...?"
"Well, they're tender, yeah, but I'm due for my period next week so I didn't think anything of it..."
"Any nausea, dizziness...?"
"Oh my god...I should have already known..." She looked up at the doctor. "How far along am I?"
"Couple of weeks."
"This can't be happening..."
The doctor frowned and he looked at her for a moment. "Miss Douglas, this might--this might be unprofessional of me, so forgive me if I offend you, but--you know, you DO have options..."
"No," she said firmly. "I'm not that kind of person. I'll just--I'll deal with it, I just--I just can't believe it..."
"Forgive me for being forward, but...I can provide you with an approximate date of conception...if, you know, if that will mean anything to you..."
Her eyes darted around in thought. And then she looked at him. "When you say 'conception...' "
And then he proceeded to explain it to her. He did the calculations, told her the math, and then gave her the range of possible conception. Winn thought she'd die of a heart attack right in front of the doctor. "Is that...is that accurate? Those dates? Like, one of those days for sure--?"
"Based on your last menstrual cycle and your approximate dates of ovulation, yes. That range is specific. Which would make you..."
"Dead," she whispered. "Oh, this can't be happening...he'll never believe me..."
"Miss Douglas. I can refer you to someone if you need to talk to--"
"No. No, thank you. No need." She took a deep breath and tried hard to focus on herself. "Let's, um, what happens now? What do we do now?"
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Half an hour later, Winn sat in her car, her hand shaking as she held her phone in her hand. The first person she dialed was her supervisor. "I just got out of the doctor's office," she said. She wasn't able to hold it together. Her voice cracked instantaneously. "I don't have the flu."
"Great! When are you back at work?"
And then she spit it out. "I don't have the flu because I'm pregnant! He just told me I'm pregnant and I've never been pregnant before and I don't know what to do and I don't want to lose my job--"
"Hold on, hold on, hold on," her supervisor said gently. "First of all, congratulations. A baby is always a wonderful thing. And second of all, you're not going to lose your job. So you'll go on maternity leave for a couple of months, big deal. Just make sure your office is in tip top shape before you go."
"And I'll have doctor's appointments and morning sickness and--"
"Winnie, it's okay. Really. You're not the first woman at First Class Finance to ever have a baby and you're certainly not the first manager. It's okay. The first thing you need to do is to stop freaking out. I'm not a woman, but I am a father, and stressing out like that is not good for the baby."
"It's not even a tadpole yet," she sniffed.
"Well, you should get into these habits early, then. Everything will be fine. Don't worry. Go back to the office, count your drawer, and take the rest of the day off. Tomorrow you come back, rock out an amazing Friday, and then take the weekend to process what's going on. Okay? Better yet, you just go straight home and I'll call Tina and tell her to count your drawer and close you out. Okay? Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I'm happy for you."
Her supervisor's words put her at ease for the moment. Earlier in the week, she'd practically been threatened with her job for the media explosion that New Year's Eve had turned into. And now...now she was pregnant? At the rate she was going, she might as well just resign.
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Saturday, after an extremely tense rehearsal, Taylor went home. His mother had invited both him and Isaac for dinner and once he found out that Isaac had accepted the invite, Taylor backed out. He could smell one of his mother's traps a mile away.
It had been nearly a week and a half since he had spoken to Winn. She'd seemed as if she needed time, so he backed off. Surely after that long she'd had time to sort things out. Or had she intended to never contact him at all?
Taylor couldn't wait anymore. Life was unbearable without her and he only knew who he was when he was with her. Something had to give here. So when he sat on the edge of his bed late that night, he took a deep breath and he called her. His heart leapt for joy when she answered. "Hey," he said gently. "I can't believe you answered."
"Hey," she replied. "I was awake, so..."
"I miss you."
"I miss you, too," she whispered.
"What's happening, Winn? Tell me what's going on. I mean, is it all a lie? Do you not--?"
"I do. I just--"
"Then say it. Please. I just need to hear the words. I need to hear it from you."
"I can't."
"Yes, you can. It's okay, I promise you--"
"It's not okay. It's--it's really NOT okay."
"Then talk to me, Winn. It's just me, you can say anything to me. Tell me what to do. Tell me what you want me to do. I'm--I'm kinda on my knees here."
"Tay, there's--there are some...um...personal issues that I need to deal with. And I need to deal with them alone right now. I just--I need space, I need to clear my mind and regroup. I don't really know where I am right now--"
"But you don't HAVE to deal with it alone--"
"This time I do. This is...this is something that--that can't be fixed."
"Don't leave," he said suddenly, remembering Zac's words.
"What?"
"Don't leave. Don't go back to Texas. Look, I'm sorry that--that your name ended up in the news. I never wanted to hurt you--"
"That's the least of my problems right now."
"I'll fix it. Whatever it is, I'll do it. I'll deal with it, I can fix it. Anything." Taylor was growing desperate. It was unbecoming of him, but he didn't care. "Look, I'm worth more than Ike and Zac combined, with all the projects I've been involved with over the years and all that. There's no problem too big for me. Whatever you need, you have it. It's yours."
"That's--that's not even--it's not like that, I can take care of myself. I just need to be alone for awhile. Okay? And you--you have your own personal issues that need to be taken care of. You and Ike--you gotta work it out with him. He's your brother. And nothing is more important than family. I shouldn't have to tell you that."
Taylor sighed, defeated. There was nothing he could do. All he could do was respect her wishes. And pray that she stuck around. He couldn't be selfish any longer. "I'm here. I just--I'm here. Don't hesitate to call me, I won't hesitate to be there. Okay? Take, uh, take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you," she said quietly.
When Taylor hung up the phone, he was glad tomorrow was Sunday. Because all he wanted to do right now was disappear.