A KNIGHT IN THE SNOW
The later it got in the month of January, the colder it was outside. The temperature stayed bitter cold, most days below freezing, and overcast being the norm overhead. Taylor hadn't seen Winn across the street in a couple of days. He hadn't seen her car, he hadn't seen her leave for her lunch break or to chase her accounts--there was no sign of her. A couple of times he was tempted to just go across the street and see her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She said she wanted time. He would give her time. He would give her as much time as she needed and he would wait for her--as long as it took.
The guys were on a break in the studio. Isaac and Zac had gone their separate ways and Taylor stayed behind to work on a piece at the piano that he'd been working on for awhile. He played until his mind wandered and he struck a wrong key and then he cursed himself as he prepared to start over. Isaac's voice startled him as he walked in the room and sat in a chair across from the piano and picked up an acoustic. "Wow," he said. "I, um, I haven't heard pain like that in quite some time."
Taylor glanced from his sheet music to his brother. "It's, um, it's a work in progress..."
"Hm," Isaac nodded as he plucked a string or two on the guitar. "Wanna toss around some lyrics?"
"It's, uh, it's an instrumental piece."
Isaac nodded again. "That's different."
"A little, yeah."
"Is it for Winn?"
"It's personal," Taylor mumbled.
"Okay," Isaac replied. "Say no more. I can respect that."
Taylor couldn't help himself when he narrowed his eyes at his brother in confusion. In response, Isaac sighed and sat the guitar back down on the stand next to him. "Look, Tay, I--I haven't been...the best of brothers for, uh, for a really long time. And--and I'm the oldest, I'm--I should be setting an example, you know?"
Taylor smirked. "We're in our thirties, Ike. I think we're well past setting examples."
"I don't know...I don't think we ever really are..."
"Maybe..."
"Anyway, um...I wanted to apologize for...for really everything over the past few years. And I owe Zac and Kate and--and really everyone one, too, but--but mostly I owe one to you. You, uh, you were my best friend. And I let you down a long time ago and--and this time I--I did you REALLY wrong and I'm--I'm really sorry. I was--I was selfish...arrogant...inconsiderate...and just...wrong--"
"Ike, I--you really don't have to--"
"Yes, I do. I need you to know that I mean every word of this from the bottom of my heart. I don't mean to get all mushy on you, so this conversation doesn't leave this room. But, uh, I miss you, bro. You were my rock. And I--I want us to get back to that."
Taylor looked at him for a moment and then he nodded. "I'd like that. I really would."
"I, uh, I hope you'll let me be your rock, too. You can't go through what you're going through alone."
Taylor glanced down at the piano keys and then back at him. "So, uh, what brought all this on all of a sudden? One minute you're punching me in the mouth and then you're avoiding me and then--"
"I've spent the past few weeks doing a lot of soul-searching. I, um, I've had my eyes opened a little bit. I've been talking to, uh, to Kelsey Kennedy..."
"Talking how?"
"Talking. About stuff...life, everything. Past, present...future..."
"Sounds serious."
"Well--I mean we're old friends and we've been catching up. And she won't tolerate any of my shit, so...I've been trying to make sure there's no shit to tolerate. I, uh, I really respect her, Tay. She's, uh, she's different--"
"I thought Winn was different," Taylor scowled.
Isaac let out a breath. "Winn was never mine, Tay. We both know that. But she--she's a remarkable woman. It was like she--she reached in right for my soul, pulled it out of me, and then reminded me what it looked like. It was a feeling I didn't want to get rid of and, so--so I fought for her, no matter the cost. And at the time I thought it was just me, but she--she seems to do that with everyone she comes in contact with. It's just her nature to light up a person's life. It's what she DOES. And she's--she's special, but she's not for me. She was placed right in the middle of the Brady Arts District right in front of YOUR face. Not mine. And I was wrong in pursuing her even after I knew you were interested. I was a bastard and I was wrong. And I'm sorry."
Taylor swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. "Um--wow. I feel like I'm having deja vu here, but--but are you giving me your blessing? I mean you're--"
"She loves you, Tay. I think in the back of my mind I always knew it, even before she did. And you can't--you can't just--you can't be loved by a woman like that and then just let her slip through your fingers. Women like her are once in a lifetime."
Taylor sighed and rubbed his palms on his jeans. "So then why is she--? Why aren't we together? Why isn't this as easy as it was when things were...were platonic? I just don't understand it, Ike. I don't get it."
"She's scared. Her last relationship, she was gonna marry the guy and she caught in him cheating on her and he was just--he was a real slimeball. They were together for awhile and that's all she knows, Tay. Being loved and left is all she knows."
The blood drained from Taylor's face as he looked at his brother. "I did that," he whispered. "I did that. I--I loved her and left her--and she trusted me..."
"Don't beat yourself over that. Circumstances were different--"
"No wonder she pushed me away. She thinks we wouldn't last..."
"I don't know--I don't know the details there, but--but, Tay, you don't have much time."
Taylor's eyes darted up into Isaac's. "What are you talking about? Have you been talking to her?"
Isaac nodded. "Yeah, we--we worked some things out. But, look, she's dealing with something that's--that's well beyond her control. It's not my place to discuss it, but it would be in your best interest to--to make amends with her or whatever it is you have to do to keep her."
"Keep her? I don't even have her--"
"I'm serious, Tay. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but she lost her job. They fired her. Because of the media stuff. Because of us--me and you. And I give it a week or two tops before she's back in Abilene. She's not planning to stay here."
Taylor felt like Isaac had just ripped his heart out and stomped on it in front of his face. "She can't leave..."
Isaac nodded. "I agree."
Isaac stood up and Taylor stood up with him. "Look, Ike--thanks. Thanks for, uh, for this..."
Isaac stepped toward him and pulled his brother in for a hug. "I love you, man. Okay? I love you." Then he pulled away and smiled, grabbing the sides of his brother's head. "Now suck it up, be a man, and go get your girl. Got it?"
Taylor nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Got it."
"Hate to interrupt this warm and fuzzy little love fest," Zac said, peeking his head in the doorway. "But I think it's time we call it a day. Looks like that storm is moving through earlier than we thought--"
"I thought it wasn't till later tonight?" Taylor said.
"It wasn't. Until the forecast changed. Anyway, there's already precipitation out there, so we better book it before the traffic gets crazy."
Taylor looked from Isaac to Zac. "How much time do you think I have?"
Isaac was clicking through his phone. "If you're talking about going after, Winn, then not much. If you wait too long, you're not gonna be able to get in or out that hellacious driveway of hers. Broken Arrow's already getting covered up."
"Shit," Taylor muttered. Then he looked at Isaac. "So, um, if you want you can stay at--"
Isaac smiled. "Nope. No need. I'm spending the night with my niece and nephews tonight and we're gonna wreak havoc on their parents. Thanks for the offer, though."
Taylor nodded. "Okay. Uh, yeah. Yeah, let's call it a day. Keep your phones charged as much as possible. If this gets as bad as they say it's going to, I want us to be able to contact each other."
Tulsa was expecting to be hit with a monster winter storm. Everyone knew it was coming, but nobody was taking any major stock in it. It wouldn't be the first time they called for weather and got everyone hyped up and then nothing happened. This storm, however--this was expected to be the storm of the decade, complete with both ice and snow, and the temperature was already steadily dropping by the hour.
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For the past several days, Winn had been speaking with her old friend, Patrick, who owned the real estate firm. He was selling her house for her and she prayed that it would go fast, though, honestly, she wasn't very confident. She had spoken to her mother, who was getting her old room ready and talking to a few people she knew about finding work for Winn when she moved back. Nobody wanted to hire a pregnant woman. Pregnant women looked temporary and unstable. Though it was illegal to turn her down based on her pregnancy, employers would site other reasons that WERE perfectly legal. At thirty years old, Winn was finding herself in a situation that most twenty-year-olds went through. The whole thing was entirely stressful and upsetting and her mother spent multiple times per day trying to convince her that everything was going to be okay.
When Winn looked around her house, she cried. She wanted to equate her sadness with hormones, but she knew that it wasn't. She'd grown to love her little lake house. She'd only lived there a short time, but there were already so many memories there. She remembered how she and Taylor put up her tree Thanksgiving night...and the way he brought her bags full of goodies after her office was robbed--and the way he painted her toenails right there on the sofa just to make her feel better. She fell in love with him right outside the back door, when he offered to repair the pier for her--
Was that it? Was that the moment she fell? Was that the moment that she knew she couldn't live without him? Why had it taken her so long to realize it? Why?
To keep her sanity, Winn had to find it in herself to appreciate the smallest of joys in life for the time being. This afternoon, it started to snow. She was glad she was able to watch a snowfall in her backyard before she moved. She longed to watch the snow fall through the bare trees and onto the lake beyond them. She knew it would be a beautiful sight there when it happened and she wasn't disappointed. She stood at the sliding glass door in her sweater and jeans and she watched it snow, finding herself smiling at the night when Taylor had repaired the door for her while she snuck peanut butter out of a jar in her kitchen. They'd scared each other, not knowing the other one was awake. Even when he wasn't around, his memory made her laugh. God, where had she gone wrong with him?
As she lost herself in the snow and the memories, she heard the roar of the truck, and then the slamming of a door, outside her house. Startled, she turned around and she crossed her small living room, looking out the window, and gaping at the sight. Taylor was in her front yard. He wore a pair of jeans, tan work boots, and a heavy red and black flannel coat. She watched in shock as he made his way down the hill from the road, and forcefully tossed her "For Sale" sign into the bed of his truck. She watched him tromp through the thin layer of white that coated both her yard and her driveway and make his way up to her porch with purpose. She hadn't had time to meet him at the door before he was already walking through it.
He stood in place and he stared at her for a moment. Then he scratched his nose and he placed his hands on his hips and he said to her, "Pack a bag."
She blinked at him in shock for a moment. "What did you just do with my For Sale sign?"
"Your house isn't for sale," he said to her, matter-of-factly.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You're not selling your house," he repeated. "But we can talk about that later. Pack a bag, we don't have much time."
She placed her hands on her hips to match his. "What on Earth gives you the right to just storm into my home, steal my sale sign, and tell me--?"
"Because I love you, Winn! Okay? There it is. I love you. You don't have to say it back. You don't have to say it ever, I don't care. But right now, there's a hell of a storm coming and I need to get you out of here before the whole town loses power and I can't get out to get to you. I have a fireplace, I have a generator, and I have chains on my tires. I can get you out of here right now, but I can't promise I can do it later. So pack a bag so we can get going."
She stared at him in shock. He stood there and he looked at her expectantly. He wasn't budging on his stance and suddenly, she didn't have it in her to argue. So she nodded and said, "Okay." And then she went straight to her bedroom and filled a suitcase with warm clothes and toiletries.
As she pulled her suitcase from the bedroom, she found Taylor in her kitchen cleaning out her refrigerator and freezer and packing the contents into a cooler. "Don't you ever shop?" He asked her, his voice sounding slightly annoyed.
"I'm the only one who lives here. What the hell are you doing? And why are you being so nasty?"
"I'm sorry," he said nonchalantly. "I'm in a hurry. We're taking this stuff with us so it doesn't go to waste if the power goes out."
"Are you sure this isn't some big...I dunno, over-reaction? You know, the town calls for snow, milk and bread fly off the shelves?"
He furrowed his brow at her over the door of her refrigerator. "Don't you ever look at the weather?"
"No."
"You should start. This is a major storm that's been on its way here for a couple of days. It's a big deal. It's already starting out there." He put the last of the contents in the cooler and closed the door. "You all packed?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I--I think so."
He reached out and took her suitcase from her and hoisted the cooler off the floor in his other hand. "Put on your coat and lock up the house. Leave a faucet or two running to drip to keep your pipes from busting. And be careful coming down the steps, it's already getting slippery out there."
Winn did exactly what he said. She didn't know what it was. She didn't know if she was still processing his 'I love you' or if there was something about the amount of testosterone he was producing at the moment that turned her on and filled her heart at the same time, but she was confident that her hormones were playing a part in turning her on. As for her heart? That was all her.
While he was outside, she snatched her prenatal vitamins from the cabinet and shoved them into her purse before she turned off all the lights. Outside, she took a deep breath and she locked the door behind her. As she turned to descend down her short flight of steps, Taylor was already there, a hand held out to help her. She couldn't help herself when she smiled at him--her knight in shining armor.
********************
Winn was silent as she rode in the passenger seat of his truck at half the speed they would normally be driving. The sound of Taylor's chained tires were loud underneath them. Her nerves were shot and not because of Taylor's presence, though that was part of it. The real source of her nerves were the roads ahead of them. Taylor apparently hadn't been kidding about the snow storm. It seemed to come down harder and harder by the second and the harder it came down, the faster the roads whitened. Winn loved snow, but not when she was out in it like this.
Her entire body was tense and they had been riding for much longer than she wanted to be. It was only about fifteen minutes to his house from hers and they'd been on the road twenty already. Other vehicles on the road made her life worse.
To her surprise, Taylor reached over and took her by the hand, interlacing his fingers with hers. She watched him as he lifted her hand and kissed it gently before letting their hands rest between them. Then he smiled and winked at her. "It's okay. I got you."
She gave him a small smile and she let her hand rest there for a second. Then she took her hand from his and she laid it back in her lap.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see the hurt on his face. "So...you don't want to hold my hand. Okay..."
She let out a breath, feeling guilty. "It's--it's not that, I just--I need you to drive with both hands. Okay? Just--just focus on the road. I don't like this shit."
"Oh..." he nodded. "Okay. I get it. But--you DO want to hold my hand, right?"
She stole a glance at him and caught his expression. He was amused. He was playing with her. She tried to fight the smile on her own face. "Maybe," she said shyly.
His smile widened. "Just maybe?"
"Yeah, maybe if we make it home, just--just please, focus on the road."
He looked at the road in silence for a moment. "Home, huh? I like that. Home. Together."
"Please just shut up and drive."
"I wanna hear you say it first."
"What?"
"I wanna hear you say it. I said it to you. I have no problem saying it to you, if those were the only words I could ever speak for the rest of my life, I would be fine with it. Now I wanna hear you say it."
"Tay, this is neither the time nor the place--"
"This is absolutely the time and the place. Look at it out there. Look at the roads. We could die in this snowstorm right now and you would have never said it. You would die knowing how I felt, but I would die never knowing--"
"Tay, stop it, you're being horrible--"
"I'm being completely serious. Look. Look, I can't even stay on the road, the truck's already veering off--"
"Tay, STOP!"
"Say it, Winn! Hurry and say it. I don't know if there's a ditch there or a bridge with a lake underneath or what. We could die a horrible, fiery, bloody death right now. Say it, Winn, before we crash and burn--"
"Tay, get back on the road!"
"I don't even know where the road is. We're running out of time, Winn, say it! Say it!"
"Tay, get back on the road and drive!"
"SAY IT!"
Suddenly, in her panicked state, she squeezed her eyes shut and she balled up her fists and she screamed, "STOP SCARING ME, I'M PREGNANT!"
Her screams filled the truck, but Taylor's silence was more deafening. He had only been playing with her. She knew it. But he really was veering off the road and she was scared enough as it was. And the stress wasn't good for her and--oh god...
"That, uh, that wasn't what I meant..." he said quietly.
Winn couldn't speak. She watched the road ahead of them as Taylor turned onto his own road. She knew they were mere seconds from his house now and this was the part where she was supposed to calm down but now her nerves were only more shot.
As Taylor pulled into his driveway, he still wouldn't speak. Winn wanted to enjoy the snow, but she couldn't. She attempted to help him carry her things into the house, but he wouldn't have it. "Tay," she said as he walked past her.
"Winn, I get it," he said as he unlocked his door and opened it up. "You won't tell me you love me because you're carrying his kid. You don't even have to say it."
As she followed him into the house, she knew this was it. This was the part she feared would happen. The part that the people closest to him assured her wouldn't happen. But she knew the moment the doctor told her she was pregnant that this wouldn't be pretty. And she'd been right.
The later it got in the month of January, the colder it was outside. The temperature stayed bitter cold, most days below freezing, and overcast being the norm overhead. Taylor hadn't seen Winn across the street in a couple of days. He hadn't seen her car, he hadn't seen her leave for her lunch break or to chase her accounts--there was no sign of her. A couple of times he was tempted to just go across the street and see her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She said she wanted time. He would give her time. He would give her as much time as she needed and he would wait for her--as long as it took.
The guys were on a break in the studio. Isaac and Zac had gone their separate ways and Taylor stayed behind to work on a piece at the piano that he'd been working on for awhile. He played until his mind wandered and he struck a wrong key and then he cursed himself as he prepared to start over. Isaac's voice startled him as he walked in the room and sat in a chair across from the piano and picked up an acoustic. "Wow," he said. "I, um, I haven't heard pain like that in quite some time."
Taylor glanced from his sheet music to his brother. "It's, um, it's a work in progress..."
"Hm," Isaac nodded as he plucked a string or two on the guitar. "Wanna toss around some lyrics?"
"It's, uh, it's an instrumental piece."
Isaac nodded again. "That's different."
"A little, yeah."
"Is it for Winn?"
"It's personal," Taylor mumbled.
"Okay," Isaac replied. "Say no more. I can respect that."
Taylor couldn't help himself when he narrowed his eyes at his brother in confusion. In response, Isaac sighed and sat the guitar back down on the stand next to him. "Look, Tay, I--I haven't been...the best of brothers for, uh, for a really long time. And--and I'm the oldest, I'm--I should be setting an example, you know?"
Taylor smirked. "We're in our thirties, Ike. I think we're well past setting examples."
"I don't know...I don't think we ever really are..."
"Maybe..."
"Anyway, um...I wanted to apologize for...for really everything over the past few years. And I owe Zac and Kate and--and really everyone one, too, but--but mostly I owe one to you. You, uh, you were my best friend. And I let you down a long time ago and--and this time I--I did you REALLY wrong and I'm--I'm really sorry. I was--I was selfish...arrogant...inconsiderate...and just...wrong--"
"Ike, I--you really don't have to--"
"Yes, I do. I need you to know that I mean every word of this from the bottom of my heart. I don't mean to get all mushy on you, so this conversation doesn't leave this room. But, uh, I miss you, bro. You were my rock. And I--I want us to get back to that."
Taylor looked at him for a moment and then he nodded. "I'd like that. I really would."
"I, uh, I hope you'll let me be your rock, too. You can't go through what you're going through alone."
Taylor glanced down at the piano keys and then back at him. "So, uh, what brought all this on all of a sudden? One minute you're punching me in the mouth and then you're avoiding me and then--"
"I've spent the past few weeks doing a lot of soul-searching. I, um, I've had my eyes opened a little bit. I've been talking to, uh, to Kelsey Kennedy..."
"Talking how?"
"Talking. About stuff...life, everything. Past, present...future..."
"Sounds serious."
"Well--I mean we're old friends and we've been catching up. And she won't tolerate any of my shit, so...I've been trying to make sure there's no shit to tolerate. I, uh, I really respect her, Tay. She's, uh, she's different--"
"I thought Winn was different," Taylor scowled.
Isaac let out a breath. "Winn was never mine, Tay. We both know that. But she--she's a remarkable woman. It was like she--she reached in right for my soul, pulled it out of me, and then reminded me what it looked like. It was a feeling I didn't want to get rid of and, so--so I fought for her, no matter the cost. And at the time I thought it was just me, but she--she seems to do that with everyone she comes in contact with. It's just her nature to light up a person's life. It's what she DOES. And she's--she's special, but she's not for me. She was placed right in the middle of the Brady Arts District right in front of YOUR face. Not mine. And I was wrong in pursuing her even after I knew you were interested. I was a bastard and I was wrong. And I'm sorry."
Taylor swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. "Um--wow. I feel like I'm having deja vu here, but--but are you giving me your blessing? I mean you're--"
"She loves you, Tay. I think in the back of my mind I always knew it, even before she did. And you can't--you can't just--you can't be loved by a woman like that and then just let her slip through your fingers. Women like her are once in a lifetime."
Taylor sighed and rubbed his palms on his jeans. "So then why is she--? Why aren't we together? Why isn't this as easy as it was when things were...were platonic? I just don't understand it, Ike. I don't get it."
"She's scared. Her last relationship, she was gonna marry the guy and she caught in him cheating on her and he was just--he was a real slimeball. They were together for awhile and that's all she knows, Tay. Being loved and left is all she knows."
The blood drained from Taylor's face as he looked at his brother. "I did that," he whispered. "I did that. I--I loved her and left her--and she trusted me..."
"Don't beat yourself over that. Circumstances were different--"
"No wonder she pushed me away. She thinks we wouldn't last..."
"I don't know--I don't know the details there, but--but, Tay, you don't have much time."
Taylor's eyes darted up into Isaac's. "What are you talking about? Have you been talking to her?"
Isaac nodded. "Yeah, we--we worked some things out. But, look, she's dealing with something that's--that's well beyond her control. It's not my place to discuss it, but it would be in your best interest to--to make amends with her or whatever it is you have to do to keep her."
"Keep her? I don't even have her--"
"I'm serious, Tay. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but she lost her job. They fired her. Because of the media stuff. Because of us--me and you. And I give it a week or two tops before she's back in Abilene. She's not planning to stay here."
Taylor felt like Isaac had just ripped his heart out and stomped on it in front of his face. "She can't leave..."
Isaac nodded. "I agree."
Isaac stood up and Taylor stood up with him. "Look, Ike--thanks. Thanks for, uh, for this..."
Isaac stepped toward him and pulled his brother in for a hug. "I love you, man. Okay? I love you." Then he pulled away and smiled, grabbing the sides of his brother's head. "Now suck it up, be a man, and go get your girl. Got it?"
Taylor nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Got it."
"Hate to interrupt this warm and fuzzy little love fest," Zac said, peeking his head in the doorway. "But I think it's time we call it a day. Looks like that storm is moving through earlier than we thought--"
"I thought it wasn't till later tonight?" Taylor said.
"It wasn't. Until the forecast changed. Anyway, there's already precipitation out there, so we better book it before the traffic gets crazy."
Taylor looked from Isaac to Zac. "How much time do you think I have?"
Isaac was clicking through his phone. "If you're talking about going after, Winn, then not much. If you wait too long, you're not gonna be able to get in or out that hellacious driveway of hers. Broken Arrow's already getting covered up."
"Shit," Taylor muttered. Then he looked at Isaac. "So, um, if you want you can stay at--"
Isaac smiled. "Nope. No need. I'm spending the night with my niece and nephews tonight and we're gonna wreak havoc on their parents. Thanks for the offer, though."
Taylor nodded. "Okay. Uh, yeah. Yeah, let's call it a day. Keep your phones charged as much as possible. If this gets as bad as they say it's going to, I want us to be able to contact each other."
Tulsa was expecting to be hit with a monster winter storm. Everyone knew it was coming, but nobody was taking any major stock in it. It wouldn't be the first time they called for weather and got everyone hyped up and then nothing happened. This storm, however--this was expected to be the storm of the decade, complete with both ice and snow, and the temperature was already steadily dropping by the hour.
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For the past several days, Winn had been speaking with her old friend, Patrick, who owned the real estate firm. He was selling her house for her and she prayed that it would go fast, though, honestly, she wasn't very confident. She had spoken to her mother, who was getting her old room ready and talking to a few people she knew about finding work for Winn when she moved back. Nobody wanted to hire a pregnant woman. Pregnant women looked temporary and unstable. Though it was illegal to turn her down based on her pregnancy, employers would site other reasons that WERE perfectly legal. At thirty years old, Winn was finding herself in a situation that most twenty-year-olds went through. The whole thing was entirely stressful and upsetting and her mother spent multiple times per day trying to convince her that everything was going to be okay.
When Winn looked around her house, she cried. She wanted to equate her sadness with hormones, but she knew that it wasn't. She'd grown to love her little lake house. She'd only lived there a short time, but there were already so many memories there. She remembered how she and Taylor put up her tree Thanksgiving night...and the way he brought her bags full of goodies after her office was robbed--and the way he painted her toenails right there on the sofa just to make her feel better. She fell in love with him right outside the back door, when he offered to repair the pier for her--
Was that it? Was that the moment she fell? Was that the moment that she knew she couldn't live without him? Why had it taken her so long to realize it? Why?
To keep her sanity, Winn had to find it in herself to appreciate the smallest of joys in life for the time being. This afternoon, it started to snow. She was glad she was able to watch a snowfall in her backyard before she moved. She longed to watch the snow fall through the bare trees and onto the lake beyond them. She knew it would be a beautiful sight there when it happened and she wasn't disappointed. She stood at the sliding glass door in her sweater and jeans and she watched it snow, finding herself smiling at the night when Taylor had repaired the door for her while she snuck peanut butter out of a jar in her kitchen. They'd scared each other, not knowing the other one was awake. Even when he wasn't around, his memory made her laugh. God, where had she gone wrong with him?
As she lost herself in the snow and the memories, she heard the roar of the truck, and then the slamming of a door, outside her house. Startled, she turned around and she crossed her small living room, looking out the window, and gaping at the sight. Taylor was in her front yard. He wore a pair of jeans, tan work boots, and a heavy red and black flannel coat. She watched in shock as he made his way down the hill from the road, and forcefully tossed her "For Sale" sign into the bed of his truck. She watched him tromp through the thin layer of white that coated both her yard and her driveway and make his way up to her porch with purpose. She hadn't had time to meet him at the door before he was already walking through it.
He stood in place and he stared at her for a moment. Then he scratched his nose and he placed his hands on his hips and he said to her, "Pack a bag."
She blinked at him in shock for a moment. "What did you just do with my For Sale sign?"
"Your house isn't for sale," he said to her, matter-of-factly.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You're not selling your house," he repeated. "But we can talk about that later. Pack a bag, we don't have much time."
She placed her hands on her hips to match his. "What on Earth gives you the right to just storm into my home, steal my sale sign, and tell me--?"
"Because I love you, Winn! Okay? There it is. I love you. You don't have to say it back. You don't have to say it ever, I don't care. But right now, there's a hell of a storm coming and I need to get you out of here before the whole town loses power and I can't get out to get to you. I have a fireplace, I have a generator, and I have chains on my tires. I can get you out of here right now, but I can't promise I can do it later. So pack a bag so we can get going."
She stared at him in shock. He stood there and he looked at her expectantly. He wasn't budging on his stance and suddenly, she didn't have it in her to argue. So she nodded and said, "Okay." And then she went straight to her bedroom and filled a suitcase with warm clothes and toiletries.
As she pulled her suitcase from the bedroom, she found Taylor in her kitchen cleaning out her refrigerator and freezer and packing the contents into a cooler. "Don't you ever shop?" He asked her, his voice sounding slightly annoyed.
"I'm the only one who lives here. What the hell are you doing? And why are you being so nasty?"
"I'm sorry," he said nonchalantly. "I'm in a hurry. We're taking this stuff with us so it doesn't go to waste if the power goes out."
"Are you sure this isn't some big...I dunno, over-reaction? You know, the town calls for snow, milk and bread fly off the shelves?"
He furrowed his brow at her over the door of her refrigerator. "Don't you ever look at the weather?"
"No."
"You should start. This is a major storm that's been on its way here for a couple of days. It's a big deal. It's already starting out there." He put the last of the contents in the cooler and closed the door. "You all packed?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I--I think so."
He reached out and took her suitcase from her and hoisted the cooler off the floor in his other hand. "Put on your coat and lock up the house. Leave a faucet or two running to drip to keep your pipes from busting. And be careful coming down the steps, it's already getting slippery out there."
Winn did exactly what he said. She didn't know what it was. She didn't know if she was still processing his 'I love you' or if there was something about the amount of testosterone he was producing at the moment that turned her on and filled her heart at the same time, but she was confident that her hormones were playing a part in turning her on. As for her heart? That was all her.
While he was outside, she snatched her prenatal vitamins from the cabinet and shoved them into her purse before she turned off all the lights. Outside, she took a deep breath and she locked the door behind her. As she turned to descend down her short flight of steps, Taylor was already there, a hand held out to help her. She couldn't help herself when she smiled at him--her knight in shining armor.
********************
Winn was silent as she rode in the passenger seat of his truck at half the speed they would normally be driving. The sound of Taylor's chained tires were loud underneath them. Her nerves were shot and not because of Taylor's presence, though that was part of it. The real source of her nerves were the roads ahead of them. Taylor apparently hadn't been kidding about the snow storm. It seemed to come down harder and harder by the second and the harder it came down, the faster the roads whitened. Winn loved snow, but not when she was out in it like this.
Her entire body was tense and they had been riding for much longer than she wanted to be. It was only about fifteen minutes to his house from hers and they'd been on the road twenty already. Other vehicles on the road made her life worse.
To her surprise, Taylor reached over and took her by the hand, interlacing his fingers with hers. She watched him as he lifted her hand and kissed it gently before letting their hands rest between them. Then he smiled and winked at her. "It's okay. I got you."
She gave him a small smile and she let her hand rest there for a second. Then she took her hand from his and she laid it back in her lap.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see the hurt on his face. "So...you don't want to hold my hand. Okay..."
She let out a breath, feeling guilty. "It's--it's not that, I just--I need you to drive with both hands. Okay? Just--just focus on the road. I don't like this shit."
"Oh..." he nodded. "Okay. I get it. But--you DO want to hold my hand, right?"
She stole a glance at him and caught his expression. He was amused. He was playing with her. She tried to fight the smile on her own face. "Maybe," she said shyly.
His smile widened. "Just maybe?"
"Yeah, maybe if we make it home, just--just please, focus on the road."
He looked at the road in silence for a moment. "Home, huh? I like that. Home. Together."
"Please just shut up and drive."
"I wanna hear you say it first."
"What?"
"I wanna hear you say it. I said it to you. I have no problem saying it to you, if those were the only words I could ever speak for the rest of my life, I would be fine with it. Now I wanna hear you say it."
"Tay, this is neither the time nor the place--"
"This is absolutely the time and the place. Look at it out there. Look at the roads. We could die in this snowstorm right now and you would have never said it. You would die knowing how I felt, but I would die never knowing--"
"Tay, stop it, you're being horrible--"
"I'm being completely serious. Look. Look, I can't even stay on the road, the truck's already veering off--"
"Tay, STOP!"
"Say it, Winn! Hurry and say it. I don't know if there's a ditch there or a bridge with a lake underneath or what. We could die a horrible, fiery, bloody death right now. Say it, Winn, before we crash and burn--"
"Tay, get back on the road!"
"I don't even know where the road is. We're running out of time, Winn, say it! Say it!"
"Tay, get back on the road and drive!"
"SAY IT!"
Suddenly, in her panicked state, she squeezed her eyes shut and she balled up her fists and she screamed, "STOP SCARING ME, I'M PREGNANT!"
Her screams filled the truck, but Taylor's silence was more deafening. He had only been playing with her. She knew it. But he really was veering off the road and she was scared enough as it was. And the stress wasn't good for her and--oh god...
"That, uh, that wasn't what I meant..." he said quietly.
Winn couldn't speak. She watched the road ahead of them as Taylor turned onto his own road. She knew they were mere seconds from his house now and this was the part where she was supposed to calm down but now her nerves were only more shot.
As Taylor pulled into his driveway, he still wouldn't speak. Winn wanted to enjoy the snow, but she couldn't. She attempted to help him carry her things into the house, but he wouldn't have it. "Tay," she said as he walked past her.
"Winn, I get it," he said as he unlocked his door and opened it up. "You won't tell me you love me because you're carrying his kid. You don't even have to say it."
As she followed him into the house, she knew this was it. This was the part she feared would happen. The part that the people closest to him assured her wouldn't happen. But she knew the moment the doctor told her she was pregnant that this wouldn't be pretty. And she'd been right.